''How are you?'' - Physical Update...

   Whenever I see people or bump into someone on one of my rare outings they usually ask how I am, nice right? Well yes it is nice but it's not that easy to answer. Chances are I'll just say 'fine' or 'OK thanks' or if I really am in a very bad mood maybe even 'crap' but then usually followed by 'but I'll be fine' people don't want to here things aren't going well they want you to say you're doing great and then they feel better and get on with their day and if its a quick stop and chat in the street they certainly don't need me rambling on about my recovery. I thought this would be a better place to try and explain 'how I am' with a quick (maybe not that quick) physical update.

14 MONTHS ON...

Bones - My last Xrays show that my Pelvis is knitting together well as is my spine and looking at my first Xrays compared to that one is a massive change. The first ones frankly are a mess there are a mass of breaks and the pubic rami (inner pelvic ring) is totally snapped and distorted. I still get a lot of pain in my pelvis but I'm told I always will and there is a chance I'll need a hip replacement when I'm old enough because I broke my right hip socket.
My Femur (thigh) is finally going in the right direction but 14 months on it still hasn't fully grown back. Basically when I arrived on that fateful day a large portion of my thigh bone had literally been ground to nothing so I was left with a bit of bone coming down from my hip socket and a bit coming up from my knee with a big gap in the middle (cringe I know) so I endured a massive operation whilst still in a coma and had a plate and screws put in which will stay in forever and is the length of my whole thigh.
My wrist, shoulder and jaw are doing well I still get a few niggles here and there but they healed well.

Organs - My lungs and liver have healed very well and fingers crossed they wont cause me too many problems in the future.

Face - My Septoplasty operation has made some difference however it has not totally fixed my septum so I still can't breathe fully through the left side of my nose and it may well collapse back. The person who stitched my left nostril back on deserves a medal because the scar is so neat. My bottom lip reattached itself to my gums now I have a scar running across my bottom gums which can be a nuisance when eating certain foods.

Burns/Scars - Obviously my worst scar is the exhaust burn on my back which I endured skin grafts on but I also have scars from the severe road/friction burns to my hip, shoulder and scalp, the plate in my thigh, the stitching on my nose and the lung drain holes on my sides. Most of them are hypertrophic which means the scar becomes over granulated and raised. They itch a lot and hurt in the cold. The scar on my scalp which caused me to have half of my head shaved is being operated on tomorrow...I'm very scared about that. The full thickness burn to my back is by far the biggest scar it pulls the skin around it in and is very tight around my waist. It itches and is very sore if pressure is applied. I still have to massage all of my scars with different creams multiple times a day and still have a compression garment. I don't know how I will deal with my scars when I wear the clothes I like and they are on show..

Walking - I often get asked how far I can walk and how long until I can use a walking stick etc. Basically I am now starting to use crutches around the house and have used them to get into a restaurant once. It's really hard to explain because I don't know how long it will take. I still use the wheelchair to go out to placed and I'm going away for my 21st in December and have been told I will need to take my wheelchair. At some point I will use crutches out and a tripod walking stick and a normal walking stick at home then those out and one stick at home then one stick for everything. But all of that seems far away. I have physio every week which I enjoy but if I push myself I get pain in my back, hips, leg and knee so it's tough.

If you find any of this remotely interesting and want to know anything else feel free to ask :)

DRIVESAFE, George xxx

Treating the infection...an hour in the bathroom...

  The day my infection treatment started (over 3 weeks after the accident) was pretty eventful...
So incase you havn't read all the posts very briefly, by this point I had had my urinary catheter removed and when I needed the toilet I was transferred to a commode which luckily fitted over the toilet in my bathroom, then I had to use the buzzer again to be brought from the toilet and put back into bed. Anyway on this day (12th september) as most days, my mom left before afternoon visiting and put me into/onto the toilet before Joss arrived. (I got her to do this because I hated buzzing the nurses everytime I needed the loo as I felt they were busy doing more important things) So when I was ready I tried to see if I could reach the flush myself yet, I still couldn't and noticed that the seat was covered in blood which was dripping off the side. It was coming from my back/burn. I pulled the buzzer cord and waited about 5 minutes. Then a male health care assistant came in and looked shocked like he'd walked in on someone by accident. I explained that people had to bring me back to bed and that I was worried as there was blood pouring out of me. He said he would go and get the nurse (could of taken me off the loo first!), so I sat waiting, and waiting...eventually I heard Joss's voice which meant I had been on the loo waiting for 45 minutes. He came in, I told him about the blood and he went into the corridor ''my girlfriends been left in the toilet nearly an hour''. Don't get me wrong the nurses were horrified and it had been a miss-comunication, the sister thought he had brought me back to bed!
   She came straight in got me out and into bed and looked at my back, the bleeding had slowed but she decided now would be a good time to take my staples out. Having staples pulled out feels exactly like having staples pulled out of your skin. I don't know how many there were but they went the entire way round my burn holding the skin (which died) on. So I'd say 30 or more probably. It hurt like fuck, I could feel them being pulled out of the healthy skin they were anchored into.
  After this and the meeting with my new consultant mr VN I needed daily infection treatment. This involved being put onto the commode chair in the morning, wheeled into the bathroom under the shower area. The nurse then had to remove my pjamas and underwear, put a towel over my crotch for 'dignity' *what's dignity again I cant remember anymore? then a carier bag over my wrist cast and angle me so other dressings didn't get wet. They soaked the dressing so it hurt less to pull off, showered water over the burn and washed it with special stuff. That REALLY hurt every day, I always said it was fine because i hate making fuss at nurses but JESUS having someone rub a massivley infected full thickness burn is the second most painful thing I have ever experienced (second to being rolled onto a smashed pelvis and snapped leg). Then they washed my hair and body, dried me and dressed me. People probably think, 'oh god how embarrassing' but having my hair washed under a real shower instead of in bed in an inflatable bowl was incredible. I was in too much pain and too vulnerable to care about these amazing people having to see me naked and wash and dress me and wipe my ass. THEN once dried and partailly dressed came the infection clearing wound dressing, I had to have betadine soaked gauze strapped all over the burn. which always soaked bright orange through my pjamas, bedding, everything!
  I actually didn't mind the dressing part of the day as I always had a joke with wichever nurse I had as they got orange everywhere and competed to see who could strap it better so less leaked out, one of my favourite nurses frank even joked about seeing me naked on our first meeting. He was quite young and little things like that, that genuinley made me laugh made me feel a little more human again.
DRIVE SAFE, George x

Monday 3rd September...No more Catheter or PCA Plenty of infection...

 This post is quite personal, they all are but I think bodily functions are always more embarrassing to talk about! I'm writing it anyway because this blog is also a way of me keeping a diary because I keep forgetting to actually write in mine (Im using it to write these because we had to keep one for the solicitors from day one). Also I want to capture every detail because these sort of things don't cross peoples minds when they think of crashes, so if you don't want to know about me going to the toilet by all means don't read it haha
  3rd September over two weeks since the crash. I had spent all of this time with a 'urinary catheter' this was put in when I arrived as it was pretty obvious I wasnt going to be able to go to a toilet anytime soon. Also while I was in a coma I was being pumped with fluids so obviously your bladder still needs to empty but you cant go so the tube goes all the way into the urethra (don't worry I wont be attatching any photos! aha) and continually drains into a box/bag. This stayed in for so long because my injuries were so severe i could not even use a bed pan regularly. But after over two weeks it had to come out because of the high infection risk. I was terrified. I thought it takes a few nurses and a lot of pain to get from my bed onto the commode chair and if theyre busy they wont answer my buzzer quickly. Plus I hadn't felt the need or gone for a wee in over two weeks, I think I forgot that you don't suddenly need the loo then wet yourself...So anyway they took it out at midnight (not something you want to be woken up for) I don't know if it hurt going in as I was in a coma but it stung coming out! You have to pee within six hours or you need another put in and I went at 5.55am I like to live on the edge! Anyway it wasn't as bad as I thought, I had a commode (basically a chair with a hole in that you can fit a pot under to be used as a toilet) luckily while I was in hospital the commode chair actually fitted over the toilet in my 'en-suite' so once I was on it the nurse could just push me in and it was basically the same as using the toilet I just had to buzz for them to come and get me out. They also had to pull my bottoms up/down for the first week because I couldn't move to lift or adjust like you normally could. Actually it wasn't even embarrassing I was so weak, so vulnerable and in constant agony I really didn't care. I didn't care when I had to be bed bathed naked and rolled over so someone could wash my back and I didnt care that someone had to wipe my ass at 19. But think about that when you think 'I'll just speed through here I'm going to be late' or think about showing off in your car. I didnt care because I didnt have the ability to care at that point.
  My PCA (patient controlled analgesia-morphine) was also taken away. Funnily enough they don't really like you to be filling yourself with an opiate for more than two weeks! Luckily I was still allowed Oramorph (drinkable morphine) whenever I wanted it because jesus did I need it. Skin stapled to a huge burn on your back, countless broken bones burst liver and road burns really fucking hurt. Plus my donor site on the back of my thigh was really starting to hurt...when my nurse took the dressing off it was pretty clearly infected! With pseudomonas to be presise.
  This meant I had to have betadine soaked gauze and a new dressing put on it and more antibiotics! Betadine either is iodine or has iodine in it (I cant remember!) but that means its bright orange and soaks through everything!
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Thursday 23rd August and onwards MIlitary Ward...

 I suppose this entry is more of a sum up of the trauma ward before I go into anymore medical stuff.

The military ward was more bearable than intensive care, although that is not to take away from the incredible loving and life saving care I recieved in ITU.
 I was on level 4 - in bed 12 - on ward  412, I found that pretty cool (my stepdad found it too confusing...). I had my own room as I was the only girl and very high infection risk, this meant I had my own 'ensuite' although I didn't really get much use out of it! My mom was allowed to stay over for the first two nights on this ward and was given special permission to visit any time in the day for the whole of my stay. This was because I was so young, I was 19 at the time but that is the youngest age you can be in that hospital and as you can imagine I was very vulnerable physically and mentally and needed a lot of support.
  The staff on this ward were brilliant, most of them were fairly young and seemed to take a liking to me, this was probably because the ward consisted of crazy old men and soldiers and so I probably seemed very sweet! I was also surprised that a lot of the staff were quite horrified at what had happened to me as I thought they probably saw it a lot. The staff were a mix of military nurses and HCA's and civillian ones. This ward is where I found my favourite nurse, Laura (never thought I'd have one of those!). She was bloody brilliant, I first had her (you have a designated nurse each day) on Thursday 23rd August my first full day on 412. At this point I was still very confused, couldn't move an inch and didn't even want to eat. Part of the routine is a daily wash after breakfast, be that a shower by yourself or a bed bath you have to do it. I had become absolutley petrofied of anything that would mean I had to be rolled (I didn't even want to eat because if I needed the toilet I would have to be rolled onto a bed pan as I only had a cathater for urine, too much information I know!) But Laura came in with Lyndsey (lovely military HCA) and calmly explained they had to do it, it was agony but they chatted to me whilst washing me to try and keep me calm. Still amazes me how they change a bed with you on it! I had lots of lovely nurses for the 4 weeks I was on 412, I was rarely on my own but at night time they would pop in and stop to talk when they were doing my drugs or dressings or canulars. My time on this ward was when I was at my weakest and most vulnerable but past the very real possibility of dying.
I know it's their job but they did everything for me, bed baths, dressing changes, cathater control, canulars, IV's, drugs, bed pan, washing my hair in bed even when I couldnt lift my head, holding my hand, clearing up my awful skin graft infection, eventually pushing me to the toilet and washing me in the shower, dressing me when I could finally wear knickers!, feeding me, making me laugh Laura even shaved my legs before I decided it really didnt matter if I had hairy legs I was barely alive!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

INJURIES...

I thought I would add a basic list of all my injuries for anyone interested...

1. Broken Left Femur (thigh) - snapped in half and flipped over itself requiring bone removal and plates and screws.
2. Shattered Pelvis - Six breaks around the pelvis in the pelvic ring and an acetabular fracture on the right side (the socket of the hip joint which is broken when the head of the femur is forced into it) which I now know to be quite rare and usually requires hip replacement in the future...
3. Sacral fracture - Fractures of the sacrum (base of the spine above the tail bone)
4. Spinal fracture -  Fracture of the lumbar 5 section of the spine.
5. Road Burns - I aquired second degree road burns to my right shoulder, right hip, chest and right side of my head from being dragged by the car. These went through my leather jacket and jeans. My hip had to be stitched shut and the skin at the top of the burn was completley open.
6. Broken right wrist - Only acknowledged 3 weeks after the accident.
7. Right anterior clavicular dislocation - Dislocated collar bone (same as Joss's inury) also only ackowleged weeks after the accident.
8. Lascerated Liver - My liver was literally burst as my liver consultant put it...
9. Split Nose - The left half of my nose was ripped away and amazingly stitched back on
10. Deviated Septum - the middle part of the nose has been bent out of shape from the force
11. Hole to left side of chin - Pretty self explanetory, from the chin strap of my helmet being pulled off with force. (if we had tightened the strap that day as we nearly did, my aw would of been pulled off my face)
12. Detatched Lip - My lower lip was ripped away from my gums
13. Full thickness Burn to my Back - My back was stuck to the cars exhaust pipe leaving me with a full thickness burn which needed grafts.
14. Deep Grazing - To my cheeks, arms and legs.
15. Both Lungs filled with fluid - Had lung drains put into both lungs. 
16. Black eyes - Not very significant but hey I've never had black eyes before!   
17. Fractured Jaw - Acknowledged 4 months after the crash when I returned to the maxillofacial team because I still had a lot of pain chewing (no wonder) and the lovely doctor had another look at my initial MRI and CT scans focusing on my jaw.

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx