APRIL/MAY 2014

    So the last month and a bit hasn't been very interesting -what's new? I hear you say - but I haven't even had many hospital appointments other than physiotherapy #boring
  Medically I got my second scalp operation booked in for the 17th July the first part of which I had back in October, you can read about that here. I had a few medical reports for the solicitors which aren't very fun but are necessary for our claim. And I continue making steady progress in my weekly hour long physiotherapy sessions which I have now been having for 20 months (since I left hospital)! I still use the wheelchair for longer journeys but am using two walking sticks to make shorter distances. I'm having some nerve pain in some of my scars most noticeably in the large burn on my back which causes me to jolt but we're just seeing how that goes for now.
 
    In other news it was my dog sargent's 11th birthday on April 13th (think I'm scraping the barrel for this post...) We adopted him after he was fired by my grandparents 5 years ago, he was one of their guide dogs (both my grandparents are blind) but he kept making mistakes and was scared to go out with them so he was pretty useless...

  It was my best friend of 10/11 years Beckie's 21st birthday and with the help of some of my mass of equipment (below) I was able to go out for a few drinks for it! I'm definitely not at clubbing level yet but I haven't even been able to do that since the crash!

Quite the collection!

The cake I knocked up for her

Me and Beckie about 2 years before the crash

   

    Lastly, my lovely boyfriend (and 'carer') jetted off to Holland a week ago on the 19th May (well slowly went there via coach..) he's gone with two friends to travel through a few places in Europe for a month. He really deserved this break after all the sacrifices he has made and continues to make for me over the last almost two years because of this crash. However as well as all the lovey dovey 'I miss him' stuff, he is my main source of leaving the house! I see my two fantastic best friends once a week and have physiotherapy and a driving lesson once a week but other than that I'm pretty stuck. I think I've made plenty of comments on how bored and stuck inside I always am but it's still rubbish! I think it's hard for people to understand what it's like being bed/house bound and not able to go out alone (I certainly wouldn't of before the crash) and I'm lucky that one day despite life long problems I will be more independent than this. But I do literally spend days on end finding rubbish to watch to fill the hours and it's very lonely. I have watched every episode of the only way is essex twice in the last two years..I'm not even going to list any others haha I regain my street cred watching Breaking Bad and Dexter with Joss!
Moaning aside I am going away for a few days in a few weeks and Joss will be back in just over 3 weeks!

Hopefully I will have slightly more interesting news in the next post, thank you for the few comments I've had lately I do LOVE getting comments :)
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

19th August 2013 - One year 'Anniversary'...

This post might end up being quite short compared to some of my (OK all of my) other posts. But I thought it was about time I posted since we have now passed the elusive 'one year anniversary'..

Firstly I feel odd using the word 'Anniversary', that implies a happy occasion I think like wedding anniversaries and '6 month' and '1 year' anniversaries that happy new couples count. But I don't know what other word to use so it will have to stick! Any suggestions greatly received!
But anyway Monday 19th August 2013 marked one year since the horrific events of Sunday 19th August 2012. The build up was awful I'm not ashamed to say I have been dreading this date pretty much since the crash happened. It's hard to explain, it's not that I'm superstitious and thought the same thing or another traumatic event would happen on it (although I can be superstitious..) it just stirred up so many emotions and fears.

I hated the idea of having to say 'August 2012' instead of 'Last August' when people ask about the crash. I thought somehow people would stop caring when it was over a year ago. I was scared I would spend the next six weeks reliving every event from the scene and hospital. I hate it when people say 'when this is over' because to me that implies that one day I'll wake up with no scars no mobility issues or impending arthritis no flash backs and no memory of this. You get the picture, in general I was terrified of this date the mere thought of it made me feel sick! But in all honesty it wasn't as bad as I thought. I cried and felt sick but I went to physio and then spent the day with Joss just relaxing together trying to keep busy. Nobody stopped caring and expected me to miraculously heal overnight because 'it had been a year' so all in all it was OK. I did have a few more flash backs and for a few days I couldn't stop thinking about what I was doing in hospital on each date - that was overshadowed when I had another operation but I'll talk about that in another post - my neighbours even sent flowers which really touched me that they remembered the date and acknowledged that I would be feeling low it was absolutely lovely!

 DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

DEC '12 - Desperate for visitors, An African reunion and a difficult Christmas time...

   August 8th 2011 I flew to Morocco on my own. I was going to volunteer with street children, within orphanages and various other locations. When I got on that flight I was absolutely crapping myself, I thought what if no-ones there with a sign waiting for me or it's some sort of scam or I get kidnapped at the airport! You'll be pleased to know none of that happened (well my pick up man was an hour late but he got there!) and it was the most amazing time! Anyway back to December 2012, two girls I met while in Morocco visited and we had a mini reunion. It was weird thinking what had happened since I last saw them 16 months ago, I was working in mountains and trekking waterfalls with them and now I was sat in a wheelchair. In fact I flew home on August 22nd 2011 and on August 22nd 2012 I was in intensive care having just come out of a coma. It was lovely to see them though and get out of the house and have some company.

A very small selection of photo's from Morocco!   

   Speaking of visitors December is when I started to really wish I had more of them. When the crash happened obviously everyone who knows you is horrified and so worried, so you're inundated with people asking to see you and sending cards and what not. But 4 months on I felt I was seriously lacking in people wanting to see me. I'm sure everyone still cared but I think people just assume when you've left hospital you're ok. Although everyone knew I couldn't put any weight through my legs and I needed more operations and everything else, I don't think it's easy to understand what that really means. When I say I'm living in the front room, I can't leave the house alone I mean exactly that. I can't even get a drink or anything to eat or my tablets myself meaning my mom has had to be off work for 4 months now and as she is a midwife that isn't great. I'm in constant pain and emotionally finding it really hard. Saying that some people have been amazing and try to speak to me and visit whenever they can and Joss is literally here any time he isn't at work and I couldn't cope without him.

Joss (without a head) pushing me around Stratford for his sisters birthday

  Christmas was pretty hard this year. While everyone was out getting monumentally drunk I was sat in bed downstairs injecting my stomach (I've been on daily blood thinning injections since the crash). I had bed covers as my main present because I just didn't know what to ask for, I can't go out and do stuff, I don't wear clothes that I normally wear, my hair is half shaven I just didn't know who I was anymore really. We even had to have our Christmas tree and open our presents in the hallway because I'm living in the room we normally do it in and it's too full of all my equipment. My wheelchair had to be lifted over the step in and out of the conservatory to eat Christmas dinner with my family and visiting grandparents. On a happier note I was invited to Nuneaton in the evening with Joss's family to have a meal with his grandparents and aunties and uncles which got me out the house and was really nice. My best present was realizing how easily I could of not been here to see this Christmas and just spending time with both of our families. 

My downstairs bedroom made Christmassy with lights and a mini tree!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Monday 24th September - Graft review...

   Monday 24th September 2012 I woke up nervous! I was having my second skin graft reviewed today. The first one as I explained here, was traumatic first I was told it had taken then I was told it had completely failed, was massively infected and I needed another one as soon as the infection was gone. My burns consultant came to see me the day before and told me that if it had failed again I might be able to go home for a few days but then come back for another graft.
   Even though I had gone through ALL of this and one failed graft I still thought 'It wont be failed again, it wont happen to me'. I was given lots of morphine and sat up and my Vac dressing taken off, the curtain around my bed was shut and I had to wait for my consultant. My mom was texting me trying to find out what was happening, this was a BIG event. The outcome of this affected my future scarring, whether I could leave hospital, Operations...
   Eventually Mr V arrived with a bundle of medical students and junior doctors. A nurse came in to hold my hand while he looked at my back. It was silent for about a minute and then I heard him say 'where is the graft?..' I felt sick, completely devastated. After some discussion between themselves he asked them all to leave so he could speak to me privately. (something I really value in this consultant) He looked sad, he specifically chose to take over my care and knew what I'd been through and how much I wanted to go home. He explained that it had almost all failed again, I asked about having another but after a chat with my nurses and their colleagues they decided I had to stay in a few more days but we'd treat the burn with dressings soaked in beta-dine again and try and avoid another graft. I was happy because I wanted to go home and couldn't face another gruelling skin graft operation but it meant my scarring would be worse. It also meant that again my body had failed to accept its own skin, it may be silly but that in itself is hard to accept.
   Now I had to have the dreaded staples out again, I was going to attach a photo of a similar graft but thought you may prefer just the staple instruments for less gore!

I wont ramble on about how much having the staples out hurts again but Just think - big full thickness burn, open wound, actual staples being pulled out...The only benefit to having such a severe burn is that it has burnt through everything including nerves so I could only feel the ones around the edge being taken out not the ones imbedded in the burn!
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

 

Treating the infection...an hour in the bathroom...

  The day my infection treatment started (over 3 weeks after the accident) was pretty eventful...
So incase you havn't read all the posts very briefly, by this point I had had my urinary catheter removed and when I needed the toilet I was transferred to a commode which luckily fitted over the toilet in my bathroom, then I had to use the buzzer again to be brought from the toilet and put back into bed. Anyway on this day (12th september) as most days, my mom left before afternoon visiting and put me into/onto the toilet before Joss arrived. (I got her to do this because I hated buzzing the nurses everytime I needed the loo as I felt they were busy doing more important things) So when I was ready I tried to see if I could reach the flush myself yet, I still couldn't and noticed that the seat was covered in blood which was dripping off the side. It was coming from my back/burn. I pulled the buzzer cord and waited about 5 minutes. Then a male health care assistant came in and looked shocked like he'd walked in on someone by accident. I explained that people had to bring me back to bed and that I was worried as there was blood pouring out of me. He said he would go and get the nurse (could of taken me off the loo first!), so I sat waiting, and waiting...eventually I heard Joss's voice which meant I had been on the loo waiting for 45 minutes. He came in, I told him about the blood and he went into the corridor ''my girlfriends been left in the toilet nearly an hour''. Don't get me wrong the nurses were horrified and it had been a miss-comunication, the sister thought he had brought me back to bed!
   She came straight in got me out and into bed and looked at my back, the bleeding had slowed but she decided now would be a good time to take my staples out. Having staples pulled out feels exactly like having staples pulled out of your skin. I don't know how many there were but they went the entire way round my burn holding the skin (which died) on. So I'd say 30 or more probably. It hurt like fuck, I could feel them being pulled out of the healthy skin they were anchored into.
  After this and the meeting with my new consultant mr VN I needed daily infection treatment. This involved being put onto the commode chair in the morning, wheeled into the bathroom under the shower area. The nurse then had to remove my pjamas and underwear, put a towel over my crotch for 'dignity' *what's dignity again I cant remember anymore? then a carier bag over my wrist cast and angle me so other dressings didn't get wet. They soaked the dressing so it hurt less to pull off, showered water over the burn and washed it with special stuff. That REALLY hurt every day, I always said it was fine because i hate making fuss at nurses but JESUS having someone rub a massivley infected full thickness burn is the second most painful thing I have ever experienced (second to being rolled onto a smashed pelvis and snapped leg). Then they washed my hair and body, dried me and dressed me. People probably think, 'oh god how embarrassing' but having my hair washed under a real shower instead of in bed in an inflatable bowl was incredible. I was in too much pain and too vulnerable to care about these amazing people having to see me naked and wash and dress me and wipe my ass. THEN once dried and partailly dressed came the infection clearing wound dressing, I had to have betadine soaked gauze strapped all over the burn. which always soaked bright orange through my pjamas, bedding, everything!
  I actually didn't mind the dressing part of the day as I always had a joke with wichever nurse I had as they got orange everywhere and competed to see who could strap it better so less leaked out, one of my favourite nurses frank even joked about seeing me naked on our first meeting. He was quite young and little things like that, that genuinley made me laugh made me feel a little more human again.
DRIVE SAFE, George x

19th August - The accident - What happened...

Photo's from online

Sunday 19th August 2012. Me and my boyfriend of 5 years, Joss, had free passes to WestMidlands Safari Park. We had had these passes for months for this specific date and had never been together before. We travelled there on Joss's motorbike as we did to most places. We spent the day there in the sunshine and travelled in one of the jeeps around the animals (obviously you aren't allowed to ride a bike through a field of tigers!). We left late afternoon and decided to stop off at Joss's home to collect a pair of my boots for a night out we were planning for the next day. We arrived at Joss's and I spoke to his dad about the safari park whilst Joss got the boots...that is the last thing I remember. Apparently we left soon after to go to my house - a 5 minute journey we took almost daily. (the rest is what I am told) We entered the same roundabout as always. We travelled round the roundabout to take the 3rd exit into the Oakalls housing estate, A woman was coming off the Redditch bypass, she did not slow down, she did not stop. We were in the right lane, we were indicating correctly, Joss saw her and tried his best to swerve. She was too fast and collided with us, at this point Joss and the bike hit the floor, I am told I was thrown into the air, landing on her bonnet before I hit the floor and somehow she managed to drive over my body, she drove a further 10/12 metres dragging my body with her. Eventually she stopped and her and her passengers (including a young child) got out. When Joss realised where I was, he saw me trapped under the car and believed I had died. Police, fire crews, 3 land ambulances and a rapid response team were called and Joss called his dad who arrived soon after. The Island was shut off at every exit and entrance and at one point I remember regaining conciousness. Another driver was laying on the floor infront of me holding my hand trying to keep me awake, I couldnt converse with him then but I would love to thank him for that. I was screaming that I couldn't breathe and I couldnt move my legs, the only pain I recall was the side of my face on the road and I can remember my mouth was full of blood. The fire crew used inflatable bags to lift the car and an air ambulance with a trauma doctor on board arived and administered emergency treatment and decided to anaesthatise me on the road. Joss was taken by ambulance to the Alex where he was eventually diagnosed with a dislocated collar bone (something they can't do a lot for) he was given a sling and sent home. My mom was visited by the police and Joss's dad and told she needed to get the the Queen Elizabeth hospital in birmingham as soon as possible as I was likely not to make it. When they arrived they were attempting to stabilise me in A&E and I was in an induced coma, waiting for a bed in the intensive care unit......I wont write anymore today and I hope this doesn't upset anyone, please feel free to ask any questions below or email or whatever, drive safe, George xxx 

Starting a blog...

I have decided to start this blog as a way of viewing my progress following a serious RTA. My collision happened 7 months ago on the 19th August 2012, I wish I had thought of doing this sooner but I aim to back date my posts (using my diary) in order to view what has happened from that day not just from now. I hope this blog may help others and help people close to me to keep up to date. I don't know what I'm doing yet so bear with me, George x