APRIL/MAY 2014

    So the last month and a bit hasn't been very interesting -what's new? I hear you say - but I haven't even had many hospital appointments other than physiotherapy #boring
  Medically I got my second scalp operation booked in for the 17th July the first part of which I had back in October, you can read about that here. I had a few medical reports for the solicitors which aren't very fun but are necessary for our claim. And I continue making steady progress in my weekly hour long physiotherapy sessions which I have now been having for 20 months (since I left hospital)! I still use the wheelchair for longer journeys but am using two walking sticks to make shorter distances. I'm having some nerve pain in some of my scars most noticeably in the large burn on my back which causes me to jolt but we're just seeing how that goes for now.
 
    In other news it was my dog sargent's 11th birthday on April 13th (think I'm scraping the barrel for this post...) We adopted him after he was fired by my grandparents 5 years ago, he was one of their guide dogs (both my grandparents are blind) but he kept making mistakes and was scared to go out with them so he was pretty useless...

  It was my best friend of 10/11 years Beckie's 21st birthday and with the help of some of my mass of equipment (below) I was able to go out for a few drinks for it! I'm definitely not at clubbing level yet but I haven't even been able to do that since the crash!

Quite the collection!

The cake I knocked up for her

Me and Beckie about 2 years before the crash

   

    Lastly, my lovely boyfriend (and 'carer') jetted off to Holland a week ago on the 19th May (well slowly went there via coach..) he's gone with two friends to travel through a few places in Europe for a month. He really deserved this break after all the sacrifices he has made and continues to make for me over the last almost two years because of this crash. However as well as all the lovey dovey 'I miss him' stuff, he is my main source of leaving the house! I see my two fantastic best friends once a week and have physiotherapy and a driving lesson once a week but other than that I'm pretty stuck. I think I've made plenty of comments on how bored and stuck inside I always am but it's still rubbish! I think it's hard for people to understand what it's like being bed/house bound and not able to go out alone (I certainly wouldn't of before the crash) and I'm lucky that one day despite life long problems I will be more independent than this. But I do literally spend days on end finding rubbish to watch to fill the hours and it's very lonely. I have watched every episode of the only way is essex twice in the last two years..I'm not even going to list any others haha I regain my street cred watching Breaking Bad and Dexter with Joss!
Moaning aside I am going away for a few days in a few weeks and Joss will be back in just over 3 weeks!

Hopefully I will have slightly more interesting news in the next post, thank you for the few comments I've had lately I do LOVE getting comments :)
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

March 2014 - Glastonbury & Harry Potter Studio Tour...

    In the last couple of weeks I have had two exciting trips out woohoo!
On the 20th March me and my lovely mom took a trip to Glastonbury in Somerset. This was especially special as it is a trip we had planned almost 2 years ago and we were due to go about 3 days after the crash. My mom said it's one of the first things I remembered when I was in intensive care after waking up from my coma and I kept getting very upset about it. I think in that sort of situation you can't possibly compute the magnitude of what's happened and what it might mean so you think of the little things like not being able to go to Glastonbury! (I think I was even upset I'd miss a hospital appointment I'd got booked by my gp..) Ironically we originally wanted to go as we hardly saw each other with her working shifts as a midwife and me being a general 19 year old with a work and social life and we have now spent the best part of 20 months together haha. We only went to the town to look at the shops and stuff but it was really nice! I used my wheelchair mostly but it's lovely to now be able to stand up and look around a shop using my stick!

The pub we had lunch in had 5 cats! Better than the 'cat cafe' we paid to visit in Budapest!  

   And on Wednesday Joss took me to the Harry Potter studios! It was my Christmas present from him but we waited until his operation was done and settled before we went. It was SO good! I'm definitely not a mad Harry Potter fan, I didn't used to queue up for the books or have to be at the first showing of each film but I have seen them all and I do love the films. (In fact Joss and I watched them all again when I came home from hospital) I think the fact the first film came out when I was 9 and the last when I was 18 means we sort of grew up with it and I admit I was a bit sad when the last film ended..
I think turning the studios into a tour was a brilliant idea and it is so well done. The sets have so much detail that they don't really feel like sets and it's a great opportunity to appreciate just how many people were part of putting the films together, and the amount of talent is insane! I definitely recommend a visit and if you do have a 'butter beer' I suggest sharing one, me and Joss did and half a cup was definitely enough! I'll just put a few of the many photo's I took up or you might be here a while...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

May '13 - Katie Piper, Sarah Millican and a Shower in my own house!...

    I'm going to start May off with another strange - 'wheelchair reaction' shall we call it? It was around the 4th May I think and me and Joss went to Kidderminster to meet some friends (It was a bit emotional actually because stupidly I didn't realise it was the first part of the route we took to get to and from the safari park that day and we had to park near the mcdonalds we stopped at on the way home) 
Anyway we went for a drink and as we left the pub and headed down the high street at around 6pm we encountered a rather drunk lady. I could tell she was going to come over and she did. She kept looking at me, and after complimenting Joss on his shorts...Decided to turn on a very patronising voice and pull a sad face and ask why I was in a wheelchair. I told her very briefly about the crash and hoped she would leave. Instead she said 'oh my god' a lot and then decided to hold my hand...so as we were trying to leave and Joss was pushing me she was walking along side holding my hand eventually she stopped and said a few more 'oh my god' 'how awful' type things and then hugged me so tight I actually thought my jaw might crack again!  
If anyone who reads this has any funny/strange wheelchair or disability reactions please comment or send them me on twitter I would love to read them! https://twitter.com/1992_georgia

   On the 9th May I went upstairs in my house for the first time in over 8 months! I have been having physiotherapy since I was in hospital and it has progressed from using a machine to bend my leg at the very beginning to finally being able to begin weight-bearing 5 months later. 3 months on from that I can finally begin to use steps/stairs. To do this we have had to have railings and bars built in our home to allow me to get up them. Now they are built, I use one crutch and have the other arm holding the left hand rail and using right foot first can get up one step at a time. I'm not allowed to do it without someone following me with their arms braced across the rails in case I fall because I'm pretty unsteady on my feet! It was very weird seeing upstairs again, my bedroom door is directly ahead at the top of the stairs and is covered in so many pictures/stickers/leaflets (even a first class train head rest cover..) from when I was about 16 it was like looking at someone else's door. I couldn't face going into my room just yet I think that will be quite hard.

Here I am at the top of the stairs! 

   On May 15th I had my FIRST shower in my own home for 8 months 3 weeks and 5 days. The last time I was in there I was getting ready for the safari park. We originally thought I'd be able to get upstairs in November 2012 so to finally be allowed 6 months later than that was a big achievement! I got some great equipment from my occupational therapist so as long as someone helps me up and downstairs I can shower independently!

My shower equipment in my own bathroom!

    A while ago I was contacted by the Katie Piper Foundation (KPF) after speaking to another girl online who was left with bad scarring after a road accident. I was invited by the KPF to begin attending their events which I was really happy about because I'm not sure how to deal with my burns and scars emotionally. On the 19th May I attended my first event which was a pamper day at a very nice salon in Birmingham. I had my hair trimmed to sort out any split ends which was great because I'm very self concious of the fact that it is so uneven and there is a big scar in the middle of one side so to have someone do it in that environment made me feel more at ease. I had my make up done by a fantastic volunteer who was really funny and you didn't feel like you were there because you had something horrible happen. Katie piper herself painted my nails and we were given amazing goody bags with scar treatment and sun cream as well as really fancy make up for free! It was also the first time in exactly 9 months I've done anything remotely independent as Joss was able to just drop me off and then pick me up at the end. 

   On the 23rd May me and Joss took a little 'road trip' to Manchester together. One of my birthday presents this year was Sarah Millican's DVD and I decided I really wanted to see her live. I was trying to persuade Joss to take me to her 2013/2014 tour when I received an email with links to tickets for her warm up gigs! £7 to see her and 3 other comedians in small venues, yes please! I opted for Manchester as it was the closest and told Joss I'd buy his ticket if he got the car for the weekend which he did. So on the first day we found our hotel (good old premier inn) and got something to eat after wheeling round Manchester city centre before going to see her at the Frog and Bucket. It was a great place, a small bar/venue but they were great about the wheelchair and we had a really good table with a good view but not in the way. It was a brilliant night and the acts were hilarious. The next day we went to the War Museum and had a peek at the TV studios before we headed back. All in all a very good weekend! In fact a pretty good month!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

MARCH & APRIL '13 - Spain, Jewellery making and flying with a wheelchair...

      So I'm going to try my very best not to ramble on too much about any of the things I got up to in March and April, because looking back at my diary there seem to be quite a few and I'm sure you don't want to be reading a dissertation length blog post!
 
  On March 15th I got another exciting parcel in the post. I love getting parcels, It doesn't matter what's in them there is something exciting about receiving a parcel.. This particular parcel was from my occupational therapist and was a wheelchair tray. Something I never thought I would be excited to get but hey that's what my life has become! And I can now go to the kitchen make something to eat or drink and transport it back to my room myself. Something I haven't been able to do for 7 months now!...

My snazzy new wheelchair tray and celebratory hot liquid transportation (soup)

       On March 23rd I decided to start a blog! This blog to be precise, I kept getting annoyed at myself 1. for forgetting to write in my diary to keep up to date and 2. For never being able to tell people how I really am. So finally 7 months on it clicked that maybe I could have a blog? Maybe no-one would read it but if they did want to know really what happened, and how it has affected me they could. I decided to start from the beginning which is why you are currently reading 'March/April '13' written in August. I am desperately trying to get up to date so I can really use it as a place to express what's going on as it happens!

A little snap of me test running wig/hat combinations in March

     On the 29th March I went to Spain! Joss's parents needed to go to look at houses and after the crash decided to take me as well which I was very grateful for. If nothing else Spain gave me a week of using a real toilet and using a shower inside my own 'house' for the first time in over 7 months. The actual getting there and back was a bit of a hassle, we had to go to the plane way earlier than everyone else and use this weird lift which was in a truck to get onto the plane. Then I had to use an aisle chair and literally be dragged to my seat and then reverse that to get off the plane. Sadly we didn't get on first and the plane was full of people as I was being dragged to my seat. I also have no idea what they would of suggested if I needed the toilet on the plane as they left the aisle seat at the airport both ways luckily it was a relatively short flight! 

  Our villa was nice, however the woman had informed Joss's parents that it was totally wheelchair friendly and had no steps...when we arrived there were 2 steps to get onto the patio/pool area and then another 3 to get into the villa! Which meant a combination of being lifted in and out and practicing using my crutches. It also meant that as back home I couldn't go in or outside without help. 
   The shower was massive and although it was frankly amazing to have a shower in my 'home' and be able to have one whenever I liked Joss had to help me. We acquired a chair to use as my shower chair and I would wheel up to the shower then Joss would stand me up and half carry me to the other chair where I would get undressed then he would go away and come back in 20 minutes and reverse the procedure so I could get dressed in my wheelchair. Now yes everyone gets undressed in front of their boyfriends/girlfriends but at 20 it's not exactly fun being carried in and out of a shower by them!
   I could get in the pool too which was brilliant and my physiotherapist was very happy about that as it's brilliant exercise when you can't walk. It was absolutely freezing in the pool but I had to make the most of being able to stand up un-aided in the water (how cool is that!).

   One thing I never really thought about before this is, if you have scars especially burns you have to be extremely careful in the sun. You have to use really high factor sun cream and keep them covered. The sun is really damaging to skin and more so to scars it can not only make them look worse but if you have skin grafts and burns you are at a higher risk of skin cancer - great! So I carried baby sun cream everywhere in spain.

This is an aisle chair used to get me to my seat on the plane.

Sort of photo of our villa/Rhianna

Tackling the stairs with Joss!

Little example of a piece I have created

         Lastly on April 24th I was put down for another operation. I'm sure I have mentioned before that my left nostril was pretty much ripped off in the collision and some amazing nurse stitched it back on whilst I was in a coma! I haven't been able to breathe through the left nostril since I woke up in ITU but as with a few other things it wasn't really looked into at the time because there were so many other things going on that could of killed or permanently disabled me. But eventually after being referred to an ENT consultant I was told the septum was deviated (if you felt inside it felt like a wiggly line) so now I'm down to have that fixed! Which I am very glad about because aside from the whole 'not being able to breathe properly thing' it has caused me to get sinusitis almost once a month which is pretty miserable! 


Oh one very last thing, I'll leave you with a Facebook status of mine from the 25th April which looking back I can find funny! -
 ''Having to wait in the same area as the sexual health people getting stared at and hearing ''whys she here she's in a wheelchair..'' ONE - what a narrow minded uneducated thing to say, TWO - actually NO I wasn't there for my weekly STI test like you love!''

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

FEB '13 - Court case, Waiting list for operations and Joss's 21st...

   I'll skip past Valentine's Day and go straight to February 17th, Joss's 21st birthday. I felt pretty bad because he didn't get to do anything really good for it because I couldn't have joined in and he felt too bad to do anything that I would be missing out on. In the end he just had a night out in Cheltenham with some mates, which I was upset not to be able to go to but I felt more guilty that he couldn't do something better. On the actual day we went for a family meal at Jimmy Spices and although it was a good evening the food was not great haha. I tried to make up for him not doing anything too fun by getting him a surprise gift of a bungee jump. I was apprehensive about it before I even bought it because I am now scared of everything that could induce these kind of injuries...but he loved it so hopefully the cord wont snap! I didn't mention in the last post but January 8th was our 4 year anniversary, pretty impressive but it's safe to say I love him more than ever now and he has had to see me in a horrific state and thought I was dead and I don't think I'd of coped if it was the other way round. Here's a cheesy picture 1st is us in 2009 at Sonisphere festival and the 2nd at his sister Rhianna's birthday meal in October (leaning on my wheelchair!)

February 18th was the day of the court case. I'm not going to go into the legal stuff - what happened and the result - purely because I'm not sure if I am allowed. As this was the other driver's fault (that much has been completely clear from day 1) we have a claim - something that was started before I even woke up from my coma - and I don't want to affect that. I can tell you that it was one of the hardest days of my life. Joss had obviously met the person who did this as he was completely conscious at the scene but I hadn't. Apparently they did not act in a 'helpful way' shall we say at the scene and I didn't really want to face them 6 months on. We had to wait a long time at the court and I had to be briefed on the fire procedure and sign to say I was happy to be evacuated on a special stair chair in the event of a fire. This heightened my emotions as if it wasn't for THEIR actions I wouldn't be using a chair at all. I cried silently pretty much from when we arrived, Joss's parent's went up stairs while we waited for the lift and came back looking worried to say 'they' were up there. My heart felt like it flew into my mouth, I felt absolute horror and panic. I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to be there. I looked away and they pushed me straight to the furthest waiting area around a corner. After a long wait we were called into quite a small court room where I saw them for the first time. I was parked at the back feeling very fragile in my wheelchair my head wound and remains of my hair wrapped up in a scarf. They tried to speak to me while the court adjourned but it was too distressing and the fact they didn't even know my name said it all to me. Joss had decided to write them a letter explaining all my injuries and what I had endured and was still enduring because if the punishment wasn't going to be severe we needed them to know what they had actually done. It was extremely hard and I'm so thankful I had Joss there with me to hold me and understand that the fact the court case was done didn't mean anything was over for me. I'm not going to go into that anymore because I will never shut up...
 
   By some luck that same evening I was going to see Circus of Horrors with Joss's family for his 21st birthday. We saw it at the Birmingham new alexandra theatre, and I have to say the disabled access was ok. I was however quite annoyed that as we were let in the side entrance the attendant decided to ask me if I needed the toilet before I went in, in front of everyone. I'm sorry but... really?! If you want to let me know where the disabled toilet is just say 'Just to let you know our disabled toilet is down there'...but anyway the show was AMAZING. Some of the acts were just insane, swallowing swords, hanging by their hair, acrobatics mid air! The only problem was that because we had to sit in the disabled area the balcony above blocked our view of some of the aerial acts but all in all it was a good end to what started as a very horrible day.
 

   I had an appointment with my burn's consultant on February 26th where I was put on the list for an operation on my scalp. After I was driven over I was dragged over 10 metres at which point my helmet was partly smashed and ripped of my head removing a large chunk of my chin. My head along with the rest of me was dragged along the road resulting in a large part of the right side of my scalp was completely rubbed/scraped/torn off. As well as hair being cut and shaved off around it this has left me with a big scar on my head about 2.5 inches wide and 4 inches long which hair will never grow through. So they essentially want to cut that out, pull it together and staple it in place. This will leave a scar but will be a big improvement on what I have now. My only worries are about it being too tight and them having to use expansion which is where they place a balloon under the skin and fill it with saline solution over a long period of time to stretch the skin. But we'll take it as it comes! 

I'll leave this post with a few pictures from February...

My fab nails done by my friend Naomi!

A little mini visitor with my friend Beckie!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

DEC '12 - Desperate for visitors, An African reunion and a difficult Christmas time...

   August 8th 2011 I flew to Morocco on my own. I was going to volunteer with street children, within orphanages and various other locations. When I got on that flight I was absolutely crapping myself, I thought what if no-ones there with a sign waiting for me or it's some sort of scam or I get kidnapped at the airport! You'll be pleased to know none of that happened (well my pick up man was an hour late but he got there!) and it was the most amazing time! Anyway back to December 2012, two girls I met while in Morocco visited and we had a mini reunion. It was weird thinking what had happened since I last saw them 16 months ago, I was working in mountains and trekking waterfalls with them and now I was sat in a wheelchair. In fact I flew home on August 22nd 2011 and on August 22nd 2012 I was in intensive care having just come out of a coma. It was lovely to see them though and get out of the house and have some company.

A very small selection of photo's from Morocco!   

   Speaking of visitors December is when I started to really wish I had more of them. When the crash happened obviously everyone who knows you is horrified and so worried, so you're inundated with people asking to see you and sending cards and what not. But 4 months on I felt I was seriously lacking in people wanting to see me. I'm sure everyone still cared but I think people just assume when you've left hospital you're ok. Although everyone knew I couldn't put any weight through my legs and I needed more operations and everything else, I don't think it's easy to understand what that really means. When I say I'm living in the front room, I can't leave the house alone I mean exactly that. I can't even get a drink or anything to eat or my tablets myself meaning my mom has had to be off work for 4 months now and as she is a midwife that isn't great. I'm in constant pain and emotionally finding it really hard. Saying that some people have been amazing and try to speak to me and visit whenever they can and Joss is literally here any time he isn't at work and I couldn't cope without him.

Joss (without a head) pushing me around Stratford for his sisters birthday

  Christmas was pretty hard this year. While everyone was out getting monumentally drunk I was sat in bed downstairs injecting my stomach (I've been on daily blood thinning injections since the crash). I had bed covers as my main present because I just didn't know what to ask for, I can't go out and do stuff, I don't wear clothes that I normally wear, my hair is half shaven I just didn't know who I was anymore really. We even had to have our Christmas tree and open our presents in the hallway because I'm living in the room we normally do it in and it's too full of all my equipment. My wheelchair had to be lifted over the step in and out of the conservatory to eat Christmas dinner with my family and visiting grandparents. On a happier note I was invited to Nuneaton in the evening with Joss's family to have a meal with his grandparents and aunties and uncles which got me out the house and was really nice. My best present was realizing how easily I could of not been here to see this Christmas and just spending time with both of our families. 

My downstairs bedroom made Christmassy with lights and a mini tree!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

NOV '12 - My 20th birthday, another bad review, compression garments and more surgery on the cards... (graphic photos!)

 So November was actually quite eventful and I am very thankful I kept a diary until I started this blog so I can back date everything so accurately!

 Joss now has another motorbike as it was written off in the crash. I feel very anxious about it, on one hand I don't want the driver of that car to stop me from getting back on a motorbike on the other it absolutely terrifies me to the core. He needs transport to get to work and has every right to continue riding especially as none of this was in any way his fault. But I am terrified that he will be injured or killed, if you get hit on a bike you have no exterior to protect you as I experienced. But for now he texts me whenever he leaves/arrives somewhere and it gives me some peace of mind.

In November quite a few things happened actually -

1. On the 3rd me and Joss took a trip to the Sealife center in Birmingham - The first and last time we went anywhere similar was the safari park on the day of the collision and I did feel strange about it. But we got there and back ok and luckily they had good wheelchair access there so we could enjoy it!
2. On the 7th I finally got the right size wheelchair! - In hospital I was given a wheelchair which was too wide for me and promised a smaller one, I was discharged with the large one but when I got home found it barely fit through our door frames. We rang up but they said they couldn't change it. This is when the fact it was someone else's fault is of benefit, because we have a legal claim going on I have an amazing lady who's job it is to make sure I have things I need and she ordered me a brand spanking new wheelchair that is my size and can still fit my special pelvic support cushion and here it is!  

MY wheelchair!

3. On the 5th (I realize I have gone backwards here oops!) my injuries caused another injury!.. - In the crash I dislocated my collar bone, when making a flipping pot noodle of all things it gave way and the freshly boiled kettle poured over my leg. The left, smashed up leg to be precise. It was excruciating. Imagine doing that and not being unable to jump up. If I hadn't of had this accident I would of gone straight to A&E but I thought I would be wasting their time and I'd had so much more serious burns. When I showed my scar therapist she took me straight down to the nurse clinic (It pays to have contacts haha) and they dressed them one part was actually second degree. You literally couldn't make this stuff up, nearly die in horrific accident - get discharged - shoulder injury gives way and causes more burns!

                                               This is actually the kettle burn 2 weeks after I did it...

4. On the 16th I had some of my scalp cut off with scissors... - So I was currently seeing the nurses once a week for dressing changes on my back (burn/skin grafts), leg (water burn) and head (scalped by road). Today went as usual until my mom decided to query why I still had a HUGE scab on my scalp injury nearly 3 months on. I have put a picture on but basically the bald patch you can see was scraped off down to my skull by being dragged along the road (my helmet was driven over and smashed). The nurse decided to pull the scab off and have a look. Then I had several nurses all mmm'ing and ahh'ing around my head, apparently there was a big lump under the scab and they needed to cut it off. YES cut it off with scissors while I sat there YES it felt exactly as you would think! Then they needed to burn the stalk down with silver nitrate sticks, I've had them used on my back but that burn went so deep I couldn't feel them doing it, this time I could and it REALLY hurt! MORE cream and more dressings!

My head before scab removal. The pink area was mostly open down to my skull in the crash and all the uneven short hair was cut by the paramedics and then shaved in theater.

5. The 22nd was my birthday and a trauma review - Neither went well, I went for my review had Xrays and then saw a doctor It didn't go so well, they still aren't very happy with my pelvis or leg growth and have only agreed to me starting 50% weightbearing on the right leg and still 100% not on the left (which basically means I still cant even stand up. Then my mom took me shopping but it was not enjoyable. I couldn't get around the shops easily in my chair, I couldn't buy clothes I used to like because I need them to be comfy and I'm extremely self conscious of how I look now. I wear a scarf on my head everyday to cover up the hair removal and wound/scar. I feel very ugly and nothing like myself. I had all of my piercings taken out, half of my long hair cut off, have gained weight since leaving hospital but my legs are empty from muscle wastage and I have a lot scars.

6. On the 24th I was fitted for my compression garment and went out with friends for my birthday -  I have to have a compression top to help with my burn and other scars. It is extremely tight and does up with a zip, it basically tries to flatten the scars as much as possible and it covers my shoulder scar (skin removed even through leather jacket by being dragged down road), both of my lung drain scars, my full thickness burn on my back (melted to the cars exhaust) and my hip (similar to shoulder but with added stictches!) it's not comfy but it has to be done! After that I went into Birmingham with Joss, his sister and her boyfriend at the time to see the German Christmas market which was really nice. Then we met a group of friends for a meal in the mail box in Birmingham to try and celebrate my birthday. First off we arrived to a gormless waiter 'you can get up a step can't you' YES THATS WHY I ASKED FOR A WHEELCHAIR ACCESS TABLE! So I had to be lifted up a step to our table which was extremely embarrassing and degrading. THEN when I asked about toilets I was told it was downstairs so had to be lifted back down the step and use a tiny staff lift   platform to go down and back up. It was frankly horrible.

7. On the 26th I saw my burns consultant - I'll keep this one short! My compression garments are being altered and then posted to me and it is now official that I am going to need another 4 or 5 operations on my burns including my back and head but that wont be until the skin has healed more to lower the infection risk.

                                                                             Here I am in my lovely compression garment!

So it was a busy month and not really in a good way! I hope that didn't bore you to death and the photos weren't too gross!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

OCT 2012 missing hospital - what the hell?! + How I shower etc with no downstairs bathroom...

  So I spent an agonizing 6 weeks in hospital desperate to get home only to get home and wish I was back there...
You're all probably thinking 'what the hell?' 'Is she crazy?' 'why would anyone want to be in hospital?!'. And it is extremely hard to explain but this blog is for me to keep an honest accurate account of this accident and my recovery and this is how I felt.
   Don't get me wrong before this I never sat at home thinking 'I really wish I could be in a horrible accident' and while I was in hospital I did not enjoy it. But I didn't really 'get' what being home would be like...I didn't come home to my bedroom I had to move into our front room. To get into the house I have to use ramps so I'm a prisoner in my own home unable to enter or leave alone. I cannot go upstairs at all. We have no downstairs bathroom, this means as a 19 year old female I have to have a commode chair in my fake bedroom which my mother has to empty. The ONLY reason I'm talking about every aspect of this horrific crash and it's results (even the most embarrassing and soul destroying) is because I think it's important for people to see how this driver's dangerous choices have ****** up my life. To shower I have to be taken to my parents friends house as they have a disabled access downstairs shower. This means I can only shower twice a week and involves packing two cars with me, my ramps, my wheelchair, my transfer board, commode chair (doubles as shower chair) and clothes, wash stuff and towels.   I have to be wheeled in up my ramps through their living room, mom puts the chair in the shower base puts my wheelchair next to it, I transfer with the board, she puts the towels ect. out and leaves. I shower as best I can and then text her to come and do my back dressing and reverse the procedure to go home. YES it's good that they can even offer me showers at their house but it's degrading and exhausting.

                                          Ramps to get in and out of my front door (can't use backdoor)

Anyway back to missing hospital. In the middle of October I had my first of many 'trauma reviews', these involved me going to the QE to have xrays and a meeting with my trauma/orthopedic/bones consultant. From  day 1 I have been completely strictly NO weight bearing this means I cannot put ANY weight through EITHER of my legs and must use a wheelchair and transfer boards. I was not even allowed to be rolled onto my right side because I had a big fracture in my hip socket. At this review I spent hours waiting for xray and then a meeting with one of 'Mrs bones consultants' registrars (doctors). Just to receive BAD news...still NO weight bearing at all. I have about 7 breaks in my pelvis and hip socket, and my left thigh was so badly snapped they had to remove a section before plating it and it had not began to grown back and the pelvic fractures had not begun to heal.

It was the last straw really. I felt SO depressed - why had this happened? why me? why didn't the grafts work? why did I have to use a fake toilet when the person who did this to me was fine? I missed hospital, at least in hospital I could use a toilet now I could transfer. I really bonded with some nurses which is a weird thing because you spend so much time with them and then just leave. And you know what people care more when you're in hospital, I had been inundated with cards and flowers (which sadly died before I got home!) and now I needed visitors more than ever now I was living in my own version of hell no-one really came round.

27th September - Discharged from hospital...

I struggle to start all of these posts but this one is especially hard. 'Discharged' sounds so final but it was just the beginning really.
I had to see the doctors and they explained that we were keeping the wound/burn clear of infection with the dressings and letting it heal over because the skin grafts hadn't worked. Then they would look into more surgery in the future. I would be coming back to the Queen Elizabeth pretty much every week as I would have appointments with -

• Nurse clinic for dressing changes 
• My Burns consultant 
• My trauma&orthopedics consultant
• Xray's - Pelvis, hip, femur (thigh), wrist
• Physiotherapy
• Psychotherapy
• My Liver consultant
  
                                                       My new second home QEHB
  

I spent the day in hospital having blood tests and waiting for my prescriptions to go through for my medications to take home. I was eventually discharged at about 5pm. Mum helped me into some horrible tracksuit bottoms and a jumper and shoes! Pretty much hadn't worn clothes or shoes for 6 weeks.
I then went round to give cards to those I wanted to thank. I left one at the burns unit and then Joss took me round to Critical care unit C, the intensive care ward I was on. I had a card for the nurse I had on the Tuesday (the day I woke up) and the nurse I had on the Wednesday. It was scary going in there again because I didn't know what it looked like before I was either in a coma or barely conscious. On there you have one to one nursing and the state I was in I got very attached to those nurses. Then I went up to 412 my main 'home' for my time in hospital. I had a collective card and chocolates for the staff and one for my favourite nurse. It's hard to explain the attachment and not everyone who's been in hospital will have it, I think the extremely vulnerable mental and physical state I was in and my age meant they were more than medical carers to me.

I had my first post hospital cry when we got to the car, I realized I needed to pee and if I waited til I got home I would have to go in the commode in my new downstairs bedroom. Kindly Joss and mom took me back to hospital to use that toilet but it was sinking in what being at home was going to be like. Joss made a status 'Georgia's coming home!' it got 63 likes, but I wasn't happy to be home. I cried when I saw the ramps to get inside, I cried when I went into our beige dining room and there was a double bed with a back support a special table and the dreaded commode. I cried when I had to use the commode. Joss tried his best and got some scarves and photos from my real bedroom to try and make it better, I must of seemed so ungrateful but I was absolutely heart broken. I didn't know who I was anymore.

                                                  Not the actual commode I cant face that!

                                       The same luxury back support I have to have on my bed...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Sunday 23rd September - Cast off left in A&E...

    You may have read in my earlier posts that my broken wrist wasn't noticed until almost 3 weeks after the accident when I couldn't use it to get into my wheelchair. Despite the fact that I could of made the break worse and the pain it was kind of a good thing because it meant they only left the cast on for 2 and a half weeks.
    On Sunday 23rd September the nurse said I would be having my cast taken off 'later'. It's an amazing hospital but when I had to have something done it generally took hours if not days and involved being wheeled around in the bed or chair trying to end up in the right place. I was even abruptly taken out of the toilet on the trauma ward with my nurse trying to keep my dignity and rushed to a heart scan that wasn't in any way for me!
    Anyway as usual it happened during visiting time! My friends Beckie and Ryan came to afternoon visiting with Joss that day. I think I had about 10 minutes with them before a porter showed up, most porters I had were lovely but some were not so. They showed up with a patient chair (picture below), I pointed out that I have my own actual wheelchair as I cant stand or walk, he looked annoyed. I couldn't of sat in his chair even if I wanted to as I have to use a special cushion to keep my pelvis in place! (cringey I know)

He went off to talk to a nurse and came back for me with my notes, he got me to carry them (pretty hefty pile I can tell you!) and Joss came with me. I told Beckie and Ryan I'd be as quick as possible and got taken away. The porter clearly had no idea where to take me and we ended up going through Resus and A&E, this was quite traumatic for me. Luckily there was no-one being rushed in or anyone in a bad state but it affected me a lot. Knowing I'd been rushed in from the helicopter people shouting things like 'female, 19, motorbike vs car....' I wouldn't of been taken into the a&e people wait in with broken ankles and lego in their nose but it was still upsetting. The porter pushed me into the room where they take casts off/put casts on said something to the poor doctor/nurse and buggered off. There was a woman in the room getting a cast luckily she wasn't bothered that I was in there! The man was trying to sort out why I was there, everyone (staff) was confused and shocked that I was an inpatient and had been brought down to a&e let alone left there! Thank god joss came with me! We had to go and wait in the corridor with other people waiting to be seen. I felt very self concious, I was sat in my wheelchair in my pjamas wrapped in a blanket. Obvious wounds and half my hair shaved off with a huge dressing on my head, with everyone else there like in normal clothes. 

Eventually the nurse took me to have my cast off, they literally use a round electric saw (I'd never broken anything before this) she said though that they couldn't x-ray it, I'd just have to put my splint on and wait back on my ward for xray. 

Guess what, that Xray was done at evening visiting time! Luckily I didn't need to have a cast put back on!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Thursday 20th September - Moved to a shared room...

     The day after my second skin graft Joss and my mom were in the room with me when the sister came in and told me they had to move me to a shared room. They packed my things, unplugged my bed and wheeled me up the corridor and into this big empty room. I was crying because every change was so frightening to me. I had been in my own room for 5 weeks since leaving the intensive care unit and I liked it that way. Not because I was loving that I got a private room, but it was an ordeal every time I had to use the bathroom - the toilet in this room was on the opposite side of the room next to the other bed which was currently empty. I liked that in my own room I could just lie with the tv on and pretend none of this was real, I couldn't even use my laptop on this ward and I was worried about having to make conversation with whoever shared the room. I'm not the kind of person who can just shut the bed curtain and ignore someone but I was too weak to talk lots. The one plus of this room was there were a few high up small windows! An ounce of natural light!
   From this day I had a new person in my room everyday and quite frankly it was horrible. I will give you an outline of the 'one-nighters' without giving any info about them just in case! They were all women as you can't mix sexes in the 2 bed bays.
Night 1 - Burnt hands from sticking them in a bonfire. Snored so loud the nurse was actually distressed that I would be unable to sleep. Discharged next morning.
Night 2 - Planned operation. TV unbearably loud all night. Discharged next morning.
Night 3 - Thrown aerosol on fire 'sunburnt' face. Discharged next morning.
Night 4 - NO-ONE!
Night 5 - Tea spilt in lap. Dramatic antics. Discharged next morning.
Night 6 - Lovely old lady who had falleed until I left.n down the stairs (only available bed). Stayed until I left

    I hate to seem un-caring but it was very very hard to have sympathy for the majority of these. They kicked up more fuss than I had the whole time about very minor injuries and moaned like they were being kept in a prison. I also had a few thoughtless comments about a singed fringe when I was lying there with half a shaved scalp.
   But they weren't to know that I wasn't in the same vote as them (minus the obvious wheelchair and wires) and I'm glad that I was a rare incident. It's a good thing the nurses were shocked at how long I'd been in hospital and when they read my notes because it means that it's not common to be hit, run over and dragged down a road and it's not common to receive such a multitude of injuries. I hate that all this happened to me but I'm genuinley glad that it doesn't happen to many people because it's horrific.
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Thursday 30th August Sitting in a WHEELCHAIR... meeting Gareth Gates...

   29th August was an exciting day! (not because I met Gareth) Two days after I had been sat up for the first time (and then remained flat for another 2 days) my physio's turned up with a wheelchair! Another thing I never thought would be exciting, but god I was happy! I had to use two physio's, a nurse, a banana board, a slide sheet and another nurse on stand by to get into the wheelchair but I did it! I had (and still do have) a special support cushion for my pelvis and my left leg had to be elevated because bending it even slightly was SO SO painful. Another thing people probably don't think about was all the attatchments I had! I had a catheter (pipe directly into your bladder continually draining) so they had to get me into the chair without catching it and then hang it on the side. I still had my first VAC box dressing attatched to my graft, so they had to unplug the box and switch it to run on battery, that then went in a bag on the back of the chair. I also had several canulars (needles into the vein for easy access with fluids, pain relief and antibiotics) one of which was attatched to my PCA of morphine (patient controlled analgesia) so that had to sit on my lap.
  So all in all I was looking pretty trendy with my bag of wee on the side and huge box of back fluid behind me. Did I mention the VAC makes noises as it sucks?!
   Anyway the physio's took me into the hall (first time I had left my room other than on my bed to theatre) and I had a feeble go at wheeling myself. Its hard to get used to (and i still had an undiagnosed broken wrist so it hurt). Then this receptionist, clerk person comes up and takes my handles and pushes me down the hall to meet Gareth Gates. What the hell? Now this blog may become world famous (very unlikely haha) so I will watch what i say, but lets just say I was a lot more interested in learning to move in a wheelchair! The military ward get a lot of famous visitors (something else I wont go on about but I dont think its fair on the other wards..)
DRIVE SAFE george xxx