Six months later!

   I haven't posted for almost six months! This is for two reasons, firstly I wiped my computer and forgot my blog password and even though it is saved on my memory stick kept forgetting to find it! Secondly I've actually been slightly busy.... that's right I've had things to do!!! Finally!

   Update number One - DRIVING I first had driving lessons for my 18th birthday in November 2010 these went well but my instructor had to change career and so couldn't teach me anymore, after a few months I got a new instructor and had around 10 lessons before I ran out of money. I had nearly a year without lessons, in august 2012 I was planning to restart learning when I had my accident! After a year and a half of recovering, in January 2014 still in the wheelchair I decided to push myself and start lessons again. To be honest I didn't want to, I was terrified of being on the road but I knew it would massively help my independence.
Anyway I had to re take my theory test as it had expired thanks to the accident and after that booked my practical test for September this test then had to be cancelled and I had to wait another 6 weeks before taking it on Halloween. I ended up failing it 30 seconds before the end of the test for hesitating at a roundabout! (pretty obvious why I did that) THEN the test centre was shutting for two months so I had a window of about 2 days to hope for a cancellation or wait another two months to retake. After all that I really thought something was telling me not to drive but I managed to get a cancellation and passed my second test with 3 minors!!!!! I'm very nervous driving especially on roundabouts but I can't explain the independence it gives me, after almost two and a half years of having to rely on people for everything I can finally do simple things like go to and look around a shop by myself!
I have to use an automatic car because of my left leg but I don't mind.

Here she is!

Update number two - WORK On the 29th of September I finally started the childcare apprenticeship I should of started more than 2 years earlier! I can only manage part time hours but it is fantastic, I am so lucky with how supportive and flexible they have been and continue to be. I don't think I would of been able to stay determined with my recovery if I didn't have this to aim for. Just getting up and doing a morning at work makes me feel worthwhile.

Update number three -  PUBLISHED ARTICLE On October 20th I had an article I wrote published on Cosmopolitan online!!! I can't tell you how excited this makes me you can read it here http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/reports/a30591/real-life-story-coma-car-crash/ I was even on the front page of the website!

Update number four - TURNING 22 I turned 22 in November and finally managed to venture to a nightclub, I only went to a small one where there were places to sit down and not so many people I'd get squashed. It was mostly a great night and a great achievement the only down side was a few people's attitude to my stick. I had a few people come over and ask my friends what was wrong with me, asking what's wrong with someone can be rude enough if not done by someone genuinely interested and caring but speaking over me to my friends and continuing to do so even when I approach you and explain I can speak for myself is unbelievable! I also had one guy come down some stairs behind me and grab my stick, I think he thought it would be funny in front of his friends which backfired when he looked an absolute idiot and one of them apologized for him.I does make me feel self conscious and worry about what people would say if I had my burns on show if they can't even handle a stick but luckily most people aren't like that!

On the way out for my birthday!

Update number five - JOSS MOVED On new years eve Joss moved to Cheltenham! He was meant to move at the time of the crash but when it happened he moved back in with his parents to be close to me. He put his plans on hold for almost two and a half years to be there for me and I don't know what I would have done without him. What we've been through would tear a lot of couples apart let alone at our age, we were 19 and 20 when it happened and we've had some rough times but ultimately we're so much stronger together because of the accident. I'm incredibly proud of him for what he's been through and what he has done and still does for me, he had to see me underneath the car and sat by my bed every day I was in hospital, he pushed my wheelchair for nearly two years and physically cared for me in ways no one should have to! He accepted my appearance changing in a lot of ways and has been there for me mentally. He's FANTASTIC! It's strange not seeing him in the week but i'm building up my confidence driving to see him at the weekend!

Physical Update - I now use one walking stick to get around and can get around my house without one. I still have physiotherapy and have a big limp and get tilt when I walk without the stick, I get knee and hip pain as well as in my leg and back and have developed plantar fasciitis which is basically damage to the tissue in the heel so I get severe pain in my heels sometimes which is a pain! I'm having triple whammy surgery this Thursday to give me more steroid injections into my shoulder scar, the third stage of my scalp scar revision and a big operation on my left leg to release a muscle hernia. Fingers crossed it all goes ok, things are looking brighter :)

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Major catchup!...

I always sit down to update this blog and then end up not writing anything so now I have loads of things to write about! 
I'm going to try and keep each thing short and sweet and rambling to a minimum..

On the 5th December (was that really almost 4 months ago?!) I jetted off to Budapest with Joss and two close friends for another 21st birthday celebration, I mean if you can't go clubbing you have to have two trips right? It was a fantastic few days but I did struggle with the wheelchair a little and had some low times thinking about how different my 21st should of been. Although the hostel was pretty wheelchair friendly and I managed to get to the bathroom there with my crutches or sticks. All in all it was great to get away with some of my biggest supports and best friends.

The trusty chair in it's 3rd country!

 

On the 23rd December I moved back up to my old upstairs bedroom after 16 months sleeping in the bedroom my parents had to make for me in our front room, in order for me to come home from hospital. I started off in that room barely able to transfer from my wheelchair into my bed with a board and with a commode in there, but it was still hard moving back upstairs. After I first went back into my room I decided to have it painted a different colour to make it easier but it still didn't feel like 'my room'. I think it's because I feel so different from the 'old' me now and I probably subconsciously thought everything would be back to normal when I went back. I'm slowly accepting I won't be exactly the same ever again, no part of my life will be the same but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. 

On Christmas eve I had an appointment with my burns and plastics consultant to review my scalp surgery (read about that here), at the review it was decided that I will have the surgery repeated to improve the size further and hopefully that will help with the pain and pulling of the hair around it. I also had some painful steroid injections into part of my shoulder scars that are hypertrophic in the hope it will break down some of the tissue and help with the pain. Most of my scars are hypertrophic..

''A hypertrophic scar is a cutaneous condition characterized by deposits of excessive amounts of collagen which gives rise to a raised scar, but not to the degree observed with keloids.^[1] Like keloids, they form most often at the sites of pimples, body piercings, cuts and burns. They often contain nerves and blood vessels. They generally develop after thermal or traumatic injury that involves the deep layers of the dermis and express high levels of TGF-β.
When a normal wound heals, the body produces new collagen fibers at a rate which balances the breakdown of old collagen. Hypertrophic scars are red and thick and may be itchy or painful. They do not extend beyond the boundary of the original wound, but may continue to thicken for up to six months. They usually improve over the one or two years, but may cause distress due to their appearance or the intensity of the itching; they can also restrict movement if they are located close to a joint.
Some people have an inherited tendency to this type of scarring'' wikipedia

The 3rd January was both the one year anniversary of me standing up and my first driving lesson since before the crash. I may need to have an automatic but I am determined to learn and pass in a manual if possible because I feel it is an advantage to be able to drive a manual if needs be. Having a car would be so helpful to me as I can't walk anywhere but could get out more independently if I could drive to my destination. It's definitely very emotionally hard being in a car and I am filled with panic but I'm focusing in how much it would aid my recovery.

The 8th January was my five year anniversary with Joss! I intend to do a full post at some point about everything he has done for me but we'll save that for a really soppy day! 

For the 16th and 17th January I was in London with mom to see a ballet as her 50th birthday present from me! I used my wheelchair for 90% of the trip but was able to use sticks to get on and off escalators without which we wouldn't have been able to use the tube at all. My barely 5ft tall mom had to carry my wheelchair while I clung on to the escalators and you would be shocked at how few people offered to help! Just being able to do that though is massive progress for me. The ballet was called La Corsaire and was a sort of pirate love story, I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to be honest and the skill of the dancers is just amazing.

 

Last but certainly not least Joss had an operation on his shoulder! His first operation date was cancelled pretty much just before the anesthetist came to see him! And he ended up having it three weeks later on the 17th February (his 22nd birthday). He dislocated his collar bone in the crash which was treated with a sling and left but as it was causing him pain again 18 months on they basically pushed it back down and secured it into place with an artificial ligament. It was very painful and he wasn't allowed to drive for 5 weeks which was hard on both of us as I can't walk anywhere we were pretty stuck, but he's doing really well now and is back driving phew!

 

Now I hope this post wasn't too boring as I was trying to cram in too many things but I really am going to try and update this more often as i find it really helpful even just to myself. 

Thank you to everyone that ever reads this blog and to all the people who give me feedback on it. It gives me a place to express myself, see my progress and hopefully help any other people in the mean time. I absolutely love hearing from people and would love some comments if anyone has any :)

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Scalp Operation and 21st birthday celebrations!

   I have neglected this blog for a whole month and although I only have two official followers I have had over 8500 views (If you read this blog please give me a follow!) so I apologise for that!

  On October 17th I had an operation on my scalp. You can see a full list of my injuries here but as I was run over and dragged beneath the car my helmet was broken and ripped upwards meaning my head was dragged along the tarmac.  

*Please don't anyone read this and think 'helmets are pointless then' because the car tyres drove into/over my skull before I was dragged and I don't need to go into details of what would of happened to my skull/brain if I wasn't wearing my helmet. That is also why you need to take great care of your helmet and always wear one that fits you perfectly and one that you can be certain has never been dropped.*
Obviously this left me with a large area on the right side of my scalp that was missing skin this led to half of my hair being cut and shaved to prevent infection. With intensive treatment and care the area healed over with scar tissue covering my skull up again nicely! While the outer area of scar tissue began pushing new hairs through, the deepest central area was essentially pure scar tissue from the skull up so it stayed bald and numb. My fantastic burns and plastics consultants put a plan together to remove as much of the scar as possible and try and close it up to give me a thinner scar and therefore less obvious bald patch. Too avoid expansion surgery (insertion of a balloon under the skin which is regularly filled with saline to make extra skin) they opted to just pull the two sides together after the middle was cut out meaning it could be too tight and may take more than one operation.
As always I was mostly nervous about the waking up from the anesthetic, I wrote here that I pulled myself out of the coma and as you can imagine it was an extremely terrifying experience that left me scared of falling asleep for a while and each operation is a reminder of that. The operation went ok though and although I needed a drip and some extra oxygen for a while when I woke up I was allowed home the same day. This one was very painful and I so tight I genuinely couldn't lift my right eyebrow for two weeks. Oh and I wasn't allowed to wash my hair for two weeks! I wont know until my follow up on Christmas eve whether they need to do another operation on it and I can't see it myself in a mirror but I have some photo's taken by Joss which I will include, to me they are not very gross but feel free to skip past them!

The morning of the operation (yes those are white frazzled hairs trying to grow out of it)

2 weeks after looking smaller about to get the stitches out (surgical gel not grease!)

22nd of November was my 21st birthday! My 20th birthday wasn't great and although I still couldn't go on a wild night out or anything I have come a long way since then and wanted it to be special. With some help from Joss and some friends I decided to plan a weekend away, well that soon became two weekends away with two different sets of friends! I settled on Devon for 3 nights on my actual birthday with 11 friends and Budapest two weeks later with Joss and two other close friends. I have just come back from Devon and it was brilliant! I worked my arse off in physio for the last few months which really paid off with me being able to use crutches in the house and get out of my chair and walk a distance when we went to the beach, I was so happy! I did actually have to dose up on codeine and have a nap when we got back from the beach but who cares it was brilliant!

The day before my birthday three of my best friends, Naomi, Beckie and Aaron took me to TGI Fridays in Birmingham and then to the German market and it was genuinley probably the best night I've had since the crash. They made me feel so special and made such an effort with balloons, confetti, hand made cards and a birthday cake (which involved a rather embarrassing song from the staff...) The German market was amazing too and somehow I managed to attract a polish man who took a liking to me and went off and brought me a birthday present!

I spent the morning of my birthday with my mom before Joss picked me up for the 3 hour drive to Devon. My mom is absolutely incredible she always has been and she has literally done everything for me since the crash. She had to be told I would probably die, she sat with me while I was in a coma, she rushed to me when I woke up from it at 3am, she sat in a chair next to my bed all day and night every night for the first week, she got to me at 10am every morning stayed until 2pm when Joss came drove home and came all the way back at 6pm to sit with me until 8am every single day I was in hospital and when I came home she washed me, emptied my commode and took me shouting at her when I couldn't cope anymore. She went to the effort of getting me 21 presents for my 21st birthday, not all big fancy things but lovely stuff that made me smile. One of them was even an elephant she had knitted (elephants are my favourite animal) despite only having knitted a few things before and having the kitten unravel it twice!
I hope everyone knows how grateful I am for making this birthday so special and I cannot wait for the next installment in Budapest!!!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

NOV '12 - My 20th birthday, another bad review, compression garments and more surgery on the cards... (graphic photos!)

 So November was actually quite eventful and I am very thankful I kept a diary until I started this blog so I can back date everything so accurately!

 Joss now has another motorbike as it was written off in the crash. I feel very anxious about it, on one hand I don't want the driver of that car to stop me from getting back on a motorbike on the other it absolutely terrifies me to the core. He needs transport to get to work and has every right to continue riding especially as none of this was in any way his fault. But I am terrified that he will be injured or killed, if you get hit on a bike you have no exterior to protect you as I experienced. But for now he texts me whenever he leaves/arrives somewhere and it gives me some peace of mind.

In November quite a few things happened actually -

1. On the 3rd me and Joss took a trip to the Sealife center in Birmingham - The first and last time we went anywhere similar was the safari park on the day of the collision and I did feel strange about it. But we got there and back ok and luckily they had good wheelchair access there so we could enjoy it!
2. On the 7th I finally got the right size wheelchair! - In hospital I was given a wheelchair which was too wide for me and promised a smaller one, I was discharged with the large one but when I got home found it barely fit through our door frames. We rang up but they said they couldn't change it. This is when the fact it was someone else's fault is of benefit, because we have a legal claim going on I have an amazing lady who's job it is to make sure I have things I need and she ordered me a brand spanking new wheelchair that is my size and can still fit my special pelvic support cushion and here it is!  

MY wheelchair!

3. On the 5th (I realize I have gone backwards here oops!) my injuries caused another injury!.. - In the crash I dislocated my collar bone, when making a flipping pot noodle of all things it gave way and the freshly boiled kettle poured over my leg. The left, smashed up leg to be precise. It was excruciating. Imagine doing that and not being unable to jump up. If I hadn't of had this accident I would of gone straight to A&E but I thought I would be wasting their time and I'd had so much more serious burns. When I showed my scar therapist she took me straight down to the nurse clinic (It pays to have contacts haha) and they dressed them one part was actually second degree. You literally couldn't make this stuff up, nearly die in horrific accident - get discharged - shoulder injury gives way and causes more burns!

                                               This is actually the kettle burn 2 weeks after I did it...

4. On the 16th I had some of my scalp cut off with scissors... - So I was currently seeing the nurses once a week for dressing changes on my back (burn/skin grafts), leg (water burn) and head (scalped by road). Today went as usual until my mom decided to query why I still had a HUGE scab on my scalp injury nearly 3 months on. I have put a picture on but basically the bald patch you can see was scraped off down to my skull by being dragged along the road (my helmet was driven over and smashed). The nurse decided to pull the scab off and have a look. Then I had several nurses all mmm'ing and ahh'ing around my head, apparently there was a big lump under the scab and they needed to cut it off. YES cut it off with scissors while I sat there YES it felt exactly as you would think! Then they needed to burn the stalk down with silver nitrate sticks, I've had them used on my back but that burn went so deep I couldn't feel them doing it, this time I could and it REALLY hurt! MORE cream and more dressings!

My head before scab removal. The pink area was mostly open down to my skull in the crash and all the uneven short hair was cut by the paramedics and then shaved in theater.

5. The 22nd was my birthday and a trauma review - Neither went well, I went for my review had Xrays and then saw a doctor It didn't go so well, they still aren't very happy with my pelvis or leg growth and have only agreed to me starting 50% weightbearing on the right leg and still 100% not on the left (which basically means I still cant even stand up. Then my mom took me shopping but it was not enjoyable. I couldn't get around the shops easily in my chair, I couldn't buy clothes I used to like because I need them to be comfy and I'm extremely self conscious of how I look now. I wear a scarf on my head everyday to cover up the hair removal and wound/scar. I feel very ugly and nothing like myself. I had all of my piercings taken out, half of my long hair cut off, have gained weight since leaving hospital but my legs are empty from muscle wastage and I have a lot scars.

6. On the 24th I was fitted for my compression garment and went out with friends for my birthday -  I have to have a compression top to help with my burn and other scars. It is extremely tight and does up with a zip, it basically tries to flatten the scars as much as possible and it covers my shoulder scar (skin removed even through leather jacket by being dragged down road), both of my lung drain scars, my full thickness burn on my back (melted to the cars exhaust) and my hip (similar to shoulder but with added stictches!) it's not comfy but it has to be done! After that I went into Birmingham with Joss, his sister and her boyfriend at the time to see the German Christmas market which was really nice. Then we met a group of friends for a meal in the mail box in Birmingham to try and celebrate my birthday. First off we arrived to a gormless waiter 'you can get up a step can't you' YES THATS WHY I ASKED FOR A WHEELCHAIR ACCESS TABLE! So I had to be lifted up a step to our table which was extremely embarrassing and degrading. THEN when I asked about toilets I was told it was downstairs so had to be lifted back down the step and use a tiny staff lift   platform to go down and back up. It was frankly horrible.

7. On the 26th I saw my burns consultant - I'll keep this one short! My compression garments are being altered and then posted to me and it is now official that I am going to need another 4 or 5 operations on my burns including my back and head but that wont be until the skin has healed more to lower the infection risk.

                                                                             Here I am in my lovely compression garment!

So it was a busy month and not really in a good way! I hope that didn't bore you to death and the photos weren't too gross!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx