Six months later!

   I haven't posted for almost six months! This is for two reasons, firstly I wiped my computer and forgot my blog password and even though it is saved on my memory stick kept forgetting to find it! Secondly I've actually been slightly busy.... that's right I've had things to do!!! Finally!

   Update number One - DRIVING I first had driving lessons for my 18th birthday in November 2010 these went well but my instructor had to change career and so couldn't teach me anymore, after a few months I got a new instructor and had around 10 lessons before I ran out of money. I had nearly a year without lessons, in august 2012 I was planning to restart learning when I had my accident! After a year and a half of recovering, in January 2014 still in the wheelchair I decided to push myself and start lessons again. To be honest I didn't want to, I was terrified of being on the road but I knew it would massively help my independence.
Anyway I had to re take my theory test as it had expired thanks to the accident and after that booked my practical test for September this test then had to be cancelled and I had to wait another 6 weeks before taking it on Halloween. I ended up failing it 30 seconds before the end of the test for hesitating at a roundabout! (pretty obvious why I did that) THEN the test centre was shutting for two months so I had a window of about 2 days to hope for a cancellation or wait another two months to retake. After all that I really thought something was telling me not to drive but I managed to get a cancellation and passed my second test with 3 minors!!!!! I'm very nervous driving especially on roundabouts but I can't explain the independence it gives me, after almost two and a half years of having to rely on people for everything I can finally do simple things like go to and look around a shop by myself!
I have to use an automatic car because of my left leg but I don't mind.

Here she is!

Update number two - WORK On the 29th of September I finally started the childcare apprenticeship I should of started more than 2 years earlier! I can only manage part time hours but it is fantastic, I am so lucky with how supportive and flexible they have been and continue to be. I don't think I would of been able to stay determined with my recovery if I didn't have this to aim for. Just getting up and doing a morning at work makes me feel worthwhile.

Update number three -  PUBLISHED ARTICLE On October 20th I had an article I wrote published on Cosmopolitan online!!! I can't tell you how excited this makes me you can read it here http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/reports/a30591/real-life-story-coma-car-crash/ I was even on the front page of the website!

Update number four - TURNING 22 I turned 22 in November and finally managed to venture to a nightclub, I only went to a small one where there were places to sit down and not so many people I'd get squashed. It was mostly a great night and a great achievement the only down side was a few people's attitude to my stick. I had a few people come over and ask my friends what was wrong with me, asking what's wrong with someone can be rude enough if not done by someone genuinely interested and caring but speaking over me to my friends and continuing to do so even when I approach you and explain I can speak for myself is unbelievable! I also had one guy come down some stairs behind me and grab my stick, I think he thought it would be funny in front of his friends which backfired when he looked an absolute idiot and one of them apologized for him.I does make me feel self conscious and worry about what people would say if I had my burns on show if they can't even handle a stick but luckily most people aren't like that!

On the way out for my birthday!

Update number five - JOSS MOVED On new years eve Joss moved to Cheltenham! He was meant to move at the time of the crash but when it happened he moved back in with his parents to be close to me. He put his plans on hold for almost two and a half years to be there for me and I don't know what I would have done without him. What we've been through would tear a lot of couples apart let alone at our age, we were 19 and 20 when it happened and we've had some rough times but ultimately we're so much stronger together because of the accident. I'm incredibly proud of him for what he's been through and what he has done and still does for me, he had to see me underneath the car and sat by my bed every day I was in hospital, he pushed my wheelchair for nearly two years and physically cared for me in ways no one should have to! He accepted my appearance changing in a lot of ways and has been there for me mentally. He's FANTASTIC! It's strange not seeing him in the week but i'm building up my confidence driving to see him at the weekend!

Physical Update - I now use one walking stick to get around and can get around my house without one. I still have physiotherapy and have a big limp and get tilt when I walk without the stick, I get knee and hip pain as well as in my leg and back and have developed plantar fasciitis which is basically damage to the tissue in the heel so I get severe pain in my heels sometimes which is a pain! I'm having triple whammy surgery this Thursday to give me more steroid injections into my shoulder scar, the third stage of my scalp scar revision and a big operation on my left leg to release a muscle hernia. Fingers crossed it all goes ok, things are looking brighter :)

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

June/July 2014 - More surgery and progress :)...

      FIRSTLY just a 'warning' I am including photo's of some of my scars in this post so if you wouldn't like to see don't scroll down!

 



        On the 17th July I had the second stage of my scalp revision surgeries. The first of which I had in October which I wrote about here, the second stage involved the same as the first. Remove as much of the scar as possible and pull both sides together to create a smaller scar, and in the case of scalp scarring like mine reduce the area of baldness. The operation went well, it's painful and you have a sort of half face lift while the skin stretches but to have less of a bald patch is fantastic. I underwent some more steroid injections to my shoulder scar while I was under the anesthetic as well which will hopefully flatten the large lump on it but I didn't see much change after the injections I had on Christmas eve.

Not the best photo as my hairs covering some of it, but this is after 1st stage before 2nd stage (the scar constantly scabbed) 

After on the day of the operation

     The reason I chose to include photo's and have done in some past post's is because on many occasions I've found myself googling things about surgeries, injuries. treatments and experiences I've had or got. Either to try and find information or see that I'm not the only one, one of the main aims of this blog is the possibility it could help someone else. I'm also happy to answer any questions about any of my injuries and treatments just ask :)

    I'm still having driving lessons and if/when I pass my test I will be able to make steps towards starting work... It feels strange even typing that! I am extremely lucky in that I was going to begin a great opportunity at the time of the crash, although it was awful timing (not that there's a good time to have a life changing trauma!) they are so supportive that it has been held for me and they are very flexible with my abilities and the limited hours I will be able to work so I can start long before I would be able to in most jobs. I struggle with pain and still use two sticks to get around but when I've passed my driving test I will be able to drive to work and therefore save all my physical energy for the few hours I will be there, safe to say I'm very excited! :)

On that note I actually have to go for a driving lesson now!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

APRIL/MAY 2014

    So the last month and a bit hasn't been very interesting -what's new? I hear you say - but I haven't even had many hospital appointments other than physiotherapy #boring
  Medically I got my second scalp operation booked in for the 17th July the first part of which I had back in October, you can read about that here. I had a few medical reports for the solicitors which aren't very fun but are necessary for our claim. And I continue making steady progress in my weekly hour long physiotherapy sessions which I have now been having for 20 months (since I left hospital)! I still use the wheelchair for longer journeys but am using two walking sticks to make shorter distances. I'm having some nerve pain in some of my scars most noticeably in the large burn on my back which causes me to jolt but we're just seeing how that goes for now.
 
    In other news it was my dog sargent's 11th birthday on April 13th (think I'm scraping the barrel for this post...) We adopted him after he was fired by my grandparents 5 years ago, he was one of their guide dogs (both my grandparents are blind) but he kept making mistakes and was scared to go out with them so he was pretty useless...

  It was my best friend of 10/11 years Beckie's 21st birthday and with the help of some of my mass of equipment (below) I was able to go out for a few drinks for it! I'm definitely not at clubbing level yet but I haven't even been able to do that since the crash!

Quite the collection!

The cake I knocked up for her

Me and Beckie about 2 years before the crash

   

    Lastly, my lovely boyfriend (and 'carer') jetted off to Holland a week ago on the 19th May (well slowly went there via coach..) he's gone with two friends to travel through a few places in Europe for a month. He really deserved this break after all the sacrifices he has made and continues to make for me over the last almost two years because of this crash. However as well as all the lovey dovey 'I miss him' stuff, he is my main source of leaving the house! I see my two fantastic best friends once a week and have physiotherapy and a driving lesson once a week but other than that I'm pretty stuck. I think I've made plenty of comments on how bored and stuck inside I always am but it's still rubbish! I think it's hard for people to understand what it's like being bed/house bound and not able to go out alone (I certainly wouldn't of before the crash) and I'm lucky that one day despite life long problems I will be more independent than this. But I do literally spend days on end finding rubbish to watch to fill the hours and it's very lonely. I have watched every episode of the only way is essex twice in the last two years..I'm not even going to list any others haha I regain my street cred watching Breaking Bad and Dexter with Joss!
Moaning aside I am going away for a few days in a few weeks and Joss will be back in just over 3 weeks!

Hopefully I will have slightly more interesting news in the next post, thank you for the few comments I've had lately I do LOVE getting comments :)
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

March 2014 - Glastonbury & Harry Potter Studio Tour...

    In the last couple of weeks I have had two exciting trips out woohoo!
On the 20th March me and my lovely mom took a trip to Glastonbury in Somerset. This was especially special as it is a trip we had planned almost 2 years ago and we were due to go about 3 days after the crash. My mom said it's one of the first things I remembered when I was in intensive care after waking up from my coma and I kept getting very upset about it. I think in that sort of situation you can't possibly compute the magnitude of what's happened and what it might mean so you think of the little things like not being able to go to Glastonbury! (I think I was even upset I'd miss a hospital appointment I'd got booked by my gp..) Ironically we originally wanted to go as we hardly saw each other with her working shifts as a midwife and me being a general 19 year old with a work and social life and we have now spent the best part of 20 months together haha. We only went to the town to look at the shops and stuff but it was really nice! I used my wheelchair mostly but it's lovely to now be able to stand up and look around a shop using my stick!

The pub we had lunch in had 5 cats! Better than the 'cat cafe' we paid to visit in Budapest!  

   And on Wednesday Joss took me to the Harry Potter studios! It was my Christmas present from him but we waited until his operation was done and settled before we went. It was SO good! I'm definitely not a mad Harry Potter fan, I didn't used to queue up for the books or have to be at the first showing of each film but I have seen them all and I do love the films. (In fact Joss and I watched them all again when I came home from hospital) I think the fact the first film came out when I was 9 and the last when I was 18 means we sort of grew up with it and I admit I was a bit sad when the last film ended..
I think turning the studios into a tour was a brilliant idea and it is so well done. The sets have so much detail that they don't really feel like sets and it's a great opportunity to appreciate just how many people were part of putting the films together, and the amount of talent is insane! I definitely recommend a visit and if you do have a 'butter beer' I suggest sharing one, me and Joss did and half a cup was definitely enough! I'll just put a few of the many photo's I took up or you might be here a while...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

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Major catchup!...

I always sit down to update this blog and then end up not writing anything so now I have loads of things to write about! 
I'm going to try and keep each thing short and sweet and rambling to a minimum..

On the 5th December (was that really almost 4 months ago?!) I jetted off to Budapest with Joss and two close friends for another 21st birthday celebration, I mean if you can't go clubbing you have to have two trips right? It was a fantastic few days but I did struggle with the wheelchair a little and had some low times thinking about how different my 21st should of been. Although the hostel was pretty wheelchair friendly and I managed to get to the bathroom there with my crutches or sticks. All in all it was great to get away with some of my biggest supports and best friends.

The trusty chair in it's 3rd country!

 

On the 23rd December I moved back up to my old upstairs bedroom after 16 months sleeping in the bedroom my parents had to make for me in our front room, in order for me to come home from hospital. I started off in that room barely able to transfer from my wheelchair into my bed with a board and with a commode in there, but it was still hard moving back upstairs. After I first went back into my room I decided to have it painted a different colour to make it easier but it still didn't feel like 'my room'. I think it's because I feel so different from the 'old' me now and I probably subconsciously thought everything would be back to normal when I went back. I'm slowly accepting I won't be exactly the same ever again, no part of my life will be the same but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. 

On Christmas eve I had an appointment with my burns and plastics consultant to review my scalp surgery (read about that here), at the review it was decided that I will have the surgery repeated to improve the size further and hopefully that will help with the pain and pulling of the hair around it. I also had some painful steroid injections into part of my shoulder scars that are hypertrophic in the hope it will break down some of the tissue and help with the pain. Most of my scars are hypertrophic..

''A hypertrophic scar is a cutaneous condition characterized by deposits of excessive amounts of collagen which gives rise to a raised scar, but not to the degree observed with keloids.^[1] Like keloids, they form most often at the sites of pimples, body piercings, cuts and burns. They often contain nerves and blood vessels. They generally develop after thermal or traumatic injury that involves the deep layers of the dermis and express high levels of TGF-β.
When a normal wound heals, the body produces new collagen fibers at a rate which balances the breakdown of old collagen. Hypertrophic scars are red and thick and may be itchy or painful. They do not extend beyond the boundary of the original wound, but may continue to thicken for up to six months. They usually improve over the one or two years, but may cause distress due to their appearance or the intensity of the itching; they can also restrict movement if they are located close to a joint.
Some people have an inherited tendency to this type of scarring'' wikipedia

The 3rd January was both the one year anniversary of me standing up and my first driving lesson since before the crash. I may need to have an automatic but I am determined to learn and pass in a manual if possible because I feel it is an advantage to be able to drive a manual if needs be. Having a car would be so helpful to me as I can't walk anywhere but could get out more independently if I could drive to my destination. It's definitely very emotionally hard being in a car and I am filled with panic but I'm focusing in how much it would aid my recovery.

The 8th January was my five year anniversary with Joss! I intend to do a full post at some point about everything he has done for me but we'll save that for a really soppy day! 

For the 16th and 17th January I was in London with mom to see a ballet as her 50th birthday present from me! I used my wheelchair for 90% of the trip but was able to use sticks to get on and off escalators without which we wouldn't have been able to use the tube at all. My barely 5ft tall mom had to carry my wheelchair while I clung on to the escalators and you would be shocked at how few people offered to help! Just being able to do that though is massive progress for me. The ballet was called La Corsaire and was a sort of pirate love story, I enjoyed it a lot more than I expected to be honest and the skill of the dancers is just amazing.

 

Last but certainly not least Joss had an operation on his shoulder! His first operation date was cancelled pretty much just before the anesthetist came to see him! And he ended up having it three weeks later on the 17th February (his 22nd birthday). He dislocated his collar bone in the crash which was treated with a sling and left but as it was causing him pain again 18 months on they basically pushed it back down and secured it into place with an artificial ligament. It was very painful and he wasn't allowed to drive for 5 weeks which was hard on both of us as I can't walk anywhere we were pretty stuck, but he's doing really well now and is back driving phew!

 

Now I hope this post wasn't too boring as I was trying to cram in too many things but I really am going to try and update this more often as i find it really helpful even just to myself. 

Thank you to everyone that ever reads this blog and to all the people who give me feedback on it. It gives me a place to express myself, see my progress and hopefully help any other people in the mean time. I absolutely love hearing from people and would love some comments if anyone has any :)

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Wasting my young years

I will do a new update post soon I promise as I've had nearly 10,000 views I must have some readers?!

I heard this tonight and it got to me I just want to get my old life back! I know I will achieve a new life with so much more perspective I just want to feel like a normal 21 year old for a bit!