Sep '13 - One year post discharge, Seeing my bedroom and a trip to Cadbury world...

So today - September 27th 2013 is one year since I was discharged from hospital. I explained how hard that was in this earlier post I was still naive then I thought as soon as I got home it would all be over, but really emotionally the worst was yet to come. I didn't come home in a sense, I came back to my house where I had a new room downstairs, no real toilet, I didn't wear my old clothes, I didn't look like myself, think like myself or do anything I used to do.
A year on from that date - I still use a wheelchair, I'm still having operations, I have therapy/councelling most weeks, I have physiotherapy every week, I can't leave the house alone, I still have a compression garment, I massage my scars several times a day, I'm still in pain, I have a variety of hospital appointments and my femur/thigh still hasn't grown back.

On a lighter note I went to Cadbury world last week! I haven't been in like 10 years (maybe because I'm supposed to be 20) so I was pretty excited, me and Naomi were planning to go but thought it more acceptable if we take her niece and nephew...So it ended up us two, Flynn, Lauren and Lauren's mum Helen. I have to say it was a pretty good day, I can't remember what you used to get but we got 3 bars of chocolate, a shot of melted chocolate and a cup of our choice of sweets covered in melted chocolate from a place called essence. The kids seemed to really enjoy it and the outdoor play area was massive! My ticket price was reduced because I use a wheelchair but I'd recommend it to everyone, especially if you need to entertain children for the day!

I also went in my actual bedroom for the first time since I left it the morning of 'crash day'. Something I'm not ashamed to say I've been dreading, for the first 9 months I couldn't go upstairs at all and since then I've been gradually getting up more and more but still sleep downstairs. My therapist helped me put a plan together for going in and I suppose it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was really hard seeing all my old clothes and  magazines dated the week of the accident. I went shopping with Beckie the week of the accident and there are year old clothes in there I've never had the chance to wear. The clothes I wore that day aren't there because they had to be cut off my mangled body. Probably worst of all my diary still open on that week with 'safari park with Joss!' written in it. It is like looking at someone else's stuff and it's almost like grieving for the 'old Georgia' because I feel so far away from that. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I thought it would all sink in when I went in there but it didn't. My therapist say's I completely disassociate from it and can easily talk about the crash as if I'm reading a script which I suppose isn't good because it really really doesn't feel real. Probably partly because I literally woke up from a coma and had to believe what I was being told with no recollection of it happening! 

My mess of a wardrobe

Quite different from my beige downstairs room

Completely unaware of what was going to happen

Year old clothes still waiting to be worn

I think I'll follow this post with one purely on my physical updates so it doesn't all get mushed together and is easier to find if anyone does happen to stumble across this blog! If you do read this blog and you don't really know me please feel free to comment and say 'Hi' I love hearing from people who have found this little blog xxx
DRIVE SAFE, George 

The rest of August '13 - Another operation, A hundred mile cycle, and an off road wheelchair...

So hopefully once this post is out I will actually be able to start posting more regularly and using this blog as the sort of online diary/awareness raiser that it is meant to be! So if you're reading this and you find it interesting or enjoyable or whatever else please give me a follow or share my little blog on twitter?

On the 4th of August my step dad took on the rather impressive challenge of cycling 100 miles, yep ONE HUNDRED miles! He took part in RideLondon in which 16,500 cyclists have taken part in a 100-mile race from Surrey to London in the UK's largest ever mass participation cycling event. Why?! I hear you ask. Well all in the name of ME! (sort of...) He completed this monumental task (in under five hours!) to raise money for the Midlands Air Ambulance. Without whom I would not be here. I don't think everyone realizes that air ambulances are run solely by charitable donations (completely crazy if you ask me) it costs £6million per year to run the life saving helicopters so raising money is SO important. My step dad raised nearly £700 and I can't wait to start fundraising when I'm back on my feet!

My MAA wristband made out of a lanyard!

Rhianna (Joss's sister and one of my best friends) came home on the 12th August after 6 weeks in Central America! She went with a group and trail leader and travelled through several countries and did awesome things like scuba diving and volcano boarding! I have to say I was very jealous, me and Joss are desperate to travel and were planning to go after I complete an apprenticeship which should of been spring 2014 it has been pushed back a fair way by this crash!

My note from Rhianna in Leon. (my mom calls me Geebs..)

Me and Joss decided to venture out on the 16th and took a trip to Birmingham for dinner. We went to Handmade Burger co. I've never been before but would definitely recommend it! The place itself was lovely and we sat outside next to the canal which was so nice and relaxed. The food was SO good, it even managed to fill Joss up before he could finish his chips which is a rare sight I can tell you!

Lovely view!

Even lovelier food! 

I took another venture out on the 20th, this time not so successful. I was meeting up with two very good friends Beckie and Naomi, and as it was still really hot I had the genius idea of taking a trip to the near by Lickey Hills...Not one of my best ideas. Before we even got to the visitors centre we had to attempt the rocky, holey car park with a wobbly wheelchair. The hill from the visitors centre felt like one of those death drop slides and as the tarmac path rapidly ended as we hit the walk ways the tree roots and rocks sprung out of nowhere. It was honestly one of the funniest days since the crash and I could hardly breathe from laughing but god knows what people must of been thinking. Three 20 year old girls one in a wheelchair falling over tree roots and resorting to going back up the visitors centre backwards..We retreated to a pub for lunch where we were attacked by wasps...

Beckie and her expert pushing skills amongst the tree roots!

On the 28th I had another operation. This time it was one I was actually due to have before the crash and should of been my first ever operation, oh how things change! It was an investigatory laparascopy to investigate some symptoms I had had for quite a few years. 'A laparoscopy is a type of surgical procedure that allows a surgeon to access the inside of the abdomen and pelvis through small incisions without having to make large incisions in the skin.'  It meant another general anesthetic but the operation took just under two hours. It ended up diagnosing me with endometriosis, something I knew was a possibility but really didn't want especially after everything that has happened it felt like the final straw. It is an incurable condition which can cause infertility which for me personally would be the worst thing ever. BUT there are lots of pain management options and it's better to know at this age than find out when you've been trying for a baby for years. I haven't had my post op appointment yet so I don't know how bad it is and on what organs, and there is nothing I can do but hope for the best and try and stay positive! The recovery was worse than I was expecting and it put a hold on my physiotherapy as I couldn't even sit up without pulling the stitches for a few days. But seriously if I could have a break and some good news soon that would be great aha :)

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

19th August 2013 - One year 'Anniversary'...

This post might end up being quite short compared to some of my (OK all of my) other posts. But I thought it was about time I posted since we have now passed the elusive 'one year anniversary'..

Firstly I feel odd using the word 'Anniversary', that implies a happy occasion I think like wedding anniversaries and '6 month' and '1 year' anniversaries that happy new couples count. But I don't know what other word to use so it will have to stick! Any suggestions greatly received!
But anyway Monday 19th August 2013 marked one year since the horrific events of Sunday 19th August 2012. The build up was awful I'm not ashamed to say I have been dreading this date pretty much since the crash happened. It's hard to explain, it's not that I'm superstitious and thought the same thing or another traumatic event would happen on it (although I can be superstitious..) it just stirred up so many emotions and fears.

I hated the idea of having to say 'August 2012' instead of 'Last August' when people ask about the crash. I thought somehow people would stop caring when it was over a year ago. I was scared I would spend the next six weeks reliving every event from the scene and hospital. I hate it when people say 'when this is over' because to me that implies that one day I'll wake up with no scars no mobility issues or impending arthritis no flash backs and no memory of this. You get the picture, in general I was terrified of this date the mere thought of it made me feel sick! But in all honesty it wasn't as bad as I thought. I cried and felt sick but I went to physio and then spent the day with Joss just relaxing together trying to keep busy. Nobody stopped caring and expected me to miraculously heal overnight because 'it had been a year' so all in all it was OK. I did have a few more flash backs and for a few days I couldn't stop thinking about what I was doing in hospital on each date - that was overshadowed when I had another operation but I'll talk about that in another post - my neighbours even sent flowers which really touched me that they remembered the date and acknowledged that I would be feeling low it was absolutely lovely!

 DRIVE SAFE, George xxx