Scalp Operation and 21st birthday celebrations!

   I have neglected this blog for a whole month and although I only have two official followers I have had over 8500 views (If you read this blog please give me a follow!) so I apologise for that!

  On October 17th I had an operation on my scalp. You can see a full list of my injuries here but as I was run over and dragged beneath the car my helmet was broken and ripped upwards meaning my head was dragged along the tarmac.  

*Please don't anyone read this and think 'helmets are pointless then' because the car tyres drove into/over my skull before I was dragged and I don't need to go into details of what would of happened to my skull/brain if I wasn't wearing my helmet. That is also why you need to take great care of your helmet and always wear one that fits you perfectly and one that you can be certain has never been dropped.*
Obviously this left me with a large area on the right side of my scalp that was missing skin this led to half of my hair being cut and shaved to prevent infection. With intensive treatment and care the area healed over with scar tissue covering my skull up again nicely! While the outer area of scar tissue began pushing new hairs through, the deepest central area was essentially pure scar tissue from the skull up so it stayed bald and numb. My fantastic burns and plastics consultants put a plan together to remove as much of the scar as possible and try and close it up to give me a thinner scar and therefore less obvious bald patch. Too avoid expansion surgery (insertion of a balloon under the skin which is regularly filled with saline to make extra skin) they opted to just pull the two sides together after the middle was cut out meaning it could be too tight and may take more than one operation.
As always I was mostly nervous about the waking up from the anesthetic, I wrote here that I pulled myself out of the coma and as you can imagine it was an extremely terrifying experience that left me scared of falling asleep for a while and each operation is a reminder of that. The operation went ok though and although I needed a drip and some extra oxygen for a while when I woke up I was allowed home the same day. This one was very painful and I so tight I genuinely couldn't lift my right eyebrow for two weeks. Oh and I wasn't allowed to wash my hair for two weeks! I wont know until my follow up on Christmas eve whether they need to do another operation on it and I can't see it myself in a mirror but I have some photo's taken by Joss which I will include, to me they are not very gross but feel free to skip past them!

The morning of the operation (yes those are white frazzled hairs trying to grow out of it)

2 weeks after looking smaller about to get the stitches out (surgical gel not grease!)

22nd of November was my 21st birthday! My 20th birthday wasn't great and although I still couldn't go on a wild night out or anything I have come a long way since then and wanted it to be special. With some help from Joss and some friends I decided to plan a weekend away, well that soon became two weekends away with two different sets of friends! I settled on Devon for 3 nights on my actual birthday with 11 friends and Budapest two weeks later with Joss and two other close friends. I have just come back from Devon and it was brilliant! I worked my arse off in physio for the last few months which really paid off with me being able to use crutches in the house and get out of my chair and walk a distance when we went to the beach, I was so happy! I did actually have to dose up on codeine and have a nap when we got back from the beach but who cares it was brilliant!

The day before my birthday three of my best friends, Naomi, Beckie and Aaron took me to TGI Fridays in Birmingham and then to the German market and it was genuinley probably the best night I've had since the crash. They made me feel so special and made such an effort with balloons, confetti, hand made cards and a birthday cake (which involved a rather embarrassing song from the staff...) The German market was amazing too and somehow I managed to attract a polish man who took a liking to me and went off and brought me a birthday present!

I spent the morning of my birthday with my mom before Joss picked me up for the 3 hour drive to Devon. My mom is absolutely incredible she always has been and she has literally done everything for me since the crash. She had to be told I would probably die, she sat with me while I was in a coma, she rushed to me when I woke up from it at 3am, she sat in a chair next to my bed all day and night every night for the first week, she got to me at 10am every morning stayed until 2pm when Joss came drove home and came all the way back at 6pm to sit with me until 8am every single day I was in hospital and when I came home she washed me, emptied my commode and took me shouting at her when I couldn't cope anymore. She went to the effort of getting me 21 presents for my 21st birthday, not all big fancy things but lovely stuff that made me smile. One of them was even an elephant she had knitted (elephants are my favourite animal) despite only having knitted a few things before and having the kitten unravel it twice!
I hope everyone knows how grateful I am for making this birthday so special and I cannot wait for the next installment in Budapest!!!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

''How are you?'' - Physical Update...

   Whenever I see people or bump into someone on one of my rare outings they usually ask how I am, nice right? Well yes it is nice but it's not that easy to answer. Chances are I'll just say 'fine' or 'OK thanks' or if I really am in a very bad mood maybe even 'crap' but then usually followed by 'but I'll be fine' people don't want to here things aren't going well they want you to say you're doing great and then they feel better and get on with their day and if its a quick stop and chat in the street they certainly don't need me rambling on about my recovery. I thought this would be a better place to try and explain 'how I am' with a quick (maybe not that quick) physical update.

14 MONTHS ON...

Bones - My last Xrays show that my Pelvis is knitting together well as is my spine and looking at my first Xrays compared to that one is a massive change. The first ones frankly are a mess there are a mass of breaks and the pubic rami (inner pelvic ring) is totally snapped and distorted. I still get a lot of pain in my pelvis but I'm told I always will and there is a chance I'll need a hip replacement when I'm old enough because I broke my right hip socket.
My Femur (thigh) is finally going in the right direction but 14 months on it still hasn't fully grown back. Basically when I arrived on that fateful day a large portion of my thigh bone had literally been ground to nothing so I was left with a bit of bone coming down from my hip socket and a bit coming up from my knee with a big gap in the middle (cringe I know) so I endured a massive operation whilst still in a coma and had a plate and screws put in which will stay in forever and is the length of my whole thigh.
My wrist, shoulder and jaw are doing well I still get a few niggles here and there but they healed well.

Organs - My lungs and liver have healed very well and fingers crossed they wont cause me too many problems in the future.

Face - My Septoplasty operation has made some difference however it has not totally fixed my septum so I still can't breathe fully through the left side of my nose and it may well collapse back. The person who stitched my left nostril back on deserves a medal because the scar is so neat. My bottom lip reattached itself to my gums now I have a scar running across my bottom gums which can be a nuisance when eating certain foods.

Burns/Scars - Obviously my worst scar is the exhaust burn on my back which I endured skin grafts on but I also have scars from the severe road/friction burns to my hip, shoulder and scalp, the plate in my thigh, the stitching on my nose and the lung drain holes on my sides. Most of them are hypertrophic which means the scar becomes over granulated and raised. They itch a lot and hurt in the cold. The scar on my scalp which caused me to have half of my head shaved is being operated on tomorrow...I'm very scared about that. The full thickness burn to my back is by far the biggest scar it pulls the skin around it in and is very tight around my waist. It itches and is very sore if pressure is applied. I still have to massage all of my scars with different creams multiple times a day and still have a compression garment. I don't know how I will deal with my scars when I wear the clothes I like and they are on show..

Walking - I often get asked how far I can walk and how long until I can use a walking stick etc. Basically I am now starting to use crutches around the house and have used them to get into a restaurant once. It's really hard to explain because I don't know how long it will take. I still use the wheelchair to go out to placed and I'm going away for my 21st in December and have been told I will need to take my wheelchair. At some point I will use crutches out and a tripod walking stick and a normal walking stick at home then those out and one stick at home then one stick for everything. But all of that seems far away. I have physio every week which I enjoy but if I push myself I get pain in my back, hips, leg and knee so it's tough.

If you find any of this remotely interesting and want to know anything else feel free to ask :)

DRIVESAFE, George xxx

Sep '13 - One year post discharge, Seeing my bedroom and a trip to Cadbury world...

So today - September 27th 2013 is one year since I was discharged from hospital. I explained how hard that was in this earlier post I was still naive then I thought as soon as I got home it would all be over, but really emotionally the worst was yet to come. I didn't come home in a sense, I came back to my house where I had a new room downstairs, no real toilet, I didn't wear my old clothes, I didn't look like myself, think like myself or do anything I used to do.
A year on from that date - I still use a wheelchair, I'm still having operations, I have therapy/councelling most weeks, I have physiotherapy every week, I can't leave the house alone, I still have a compression garment, I massage my scars several times a day, I'm still in pain, I have a variety of hospital appointments and my femur/thigh still hasn't grown back.

On a lighter note I went to Cadbury world last week! I haven't been in like 10 years (maybe because I'm supposed to be 20) so I was pretty excited, me and Naomi were planning to go but thought it more acceptable if we take her niece and nephew...So it ended up us two, Flynn, Lauren and Lauren's mum Helen. I have to say it was a pretty good day, I can't remember what you used to get but we got 3 bars of chocolate, a shot of melted chocolate and a cup of our choice of sweets covered in melted chocolate from a place called essence. The kids seemed to really enjoy it and the outdoor play area was massive! My ticket price was reduced because I use a wheelchair but I'd recommend it to everyone, especially if you need to entertain children for the day!

I also went in my actual bedroom for the first time since I left it the morning of 'crash day'. Something I'm not ashamed to say I've been dreading, for the first 9 months I couldn't go upstairs at all and since then I've been gradually getting up more and more but still sleep downstairs. My therapist helped me put a plan together for going in and I suppose it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was really hard seeing all my old clothes and  magazines dated the week of the accident. I went shopping with Beckie the week of the accident and there are year old clothes in there I've never had the chance to wear. The clothes I wore that day aren't there because they had to be cut off my mangled body. Probably worst of all my diary still open on that week with 'safari park with Joss!' written in it. It is like looking at someone else's stuff and it's almost like grieving for the 'old Georgia' because I feel so far away from that. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I thought it would all sink in when I went in there but it didn't. My therapist say's I completely disassociate from it and can easily talk about the crash as if I'm reading a script which I suppose isn't good because it really really doesn't feel real. Probably partly because I literally woke up from a coma and had to believe what I was being told with no recollection of it happening! 

My mess of a wardrobe

Quite different from my beige downstairs room

Completely unaware of what was going to happen

Year old clothes still waiting to be worn

I think I'll follow this post with one purely on my physical updates so it doesn't all get mushed together and is easier to find if anyone does happen to stumble across this blog! If you do read this blog and you don't really know me please feel free to comment and say 'Hi' I love hearing from people who have found this little blog xxx
DRIVE SAFE, George 

The rest of August '13 - Another operation, A hundred mile cycle, and an off road wheelchair...

So hopefully once this post is out I will actually be able to start posting more regularly and using this blog as the sort of online diary/awareness raiser that it is meant to be! So if you're reading this and you find it interesting or enjoyable or whatever else please give me a follow or share my little blog on twitter?

On the 4th of August my step dad took on the rather impressive challenge of cycling 100 miles, yep ONE HUNDRED miles! He took part in RideLondon in which 16,500 cyclists have taken part in a 100-mile race from Surrey to London in the UK's largest ever mass participation cycling event. Why?! I hear you ask. Well all in the name of ME! (sort of...) He completed this monumental task (in under five hours!) to raise money for the Midlands Air Ambulance. Without whom I would not be here. I don't think everyone realizes that air ambulances are run solely by charitable donations (completely crazy if you ask me) it costs £6million per year to run the life saving helicopters so raising money is SO important. My step dad raised nearly £700 and I can't wait to start fundraising when I'm back on my feet!

My MAA wristband made out of a lanyard!

Rhianna (Joss's sister and one of my best friends) came home on the 12th August after 6 weeks in Central America! She went with a group and trail leader and travelled through several countries and did awesome things like scuba diving and volcano boarding! I have to say I was very jealous, me and Joss are desperate to travel and were planning to go after I complete an apprenticeship which should of been spring 2014 it has been pushed back a fair way by this crash!

My note from Rhianna in Leon. (my mom calls me Geebs..)

Me and Joss decided to venture out on the 16th and took a trip to Birmingham for dinner. We went to Handmade Burger co. I've never been before but would definitely recommend it! The place itself was lovely and we sat outside next to the canal which was so nice and relaxed. The food was SO good, it even managed to fill Joss up before he could finish his chips which is a rare sight I can tell you!

Lovely view!

Even lovelier food! 

I took another venture out on the 20th, this time not so successful. I was meeting up with two very good friends Beckie and Naomi, and as it was still really hot I had the genius idea of taking a trip to the near by Lickey Hills...Not one of my best ideas. Before we even got to the visitors centre we had to attempt the rocky, holey car park with a wobbly wheelchair. The hill from the visitors centre felt like one of those death drop slides and as the tarmac path rapidly ended as we hit the walk ways the tree roots and rocks sprung out of nowhere. It was honestly one of the funniest days since the crash and I could hardly breathe from laughing but god knows what people must of been thinking. Three 20 year old girls one in a wheelchair falling over tree roots and resorting to going back up the visitors centre backwards..We retreated to a pub for lunch where we were attacked by wasps...

Beckie and her expert pushing skills amongst the tree roots!

On the 28th I had another operation. This time it was one I was actually due to have before the crash and should of been my first ever operation, oh how things change! It was an investigatory laparascopy to investigate some symptoms I had had for quite a few years. 'A laparoscopy is a type of surgical procedure that allows a surgeon to access the inside of the abdomen and pelvis through small incisions without having to make large incisions in the skin.'  It meant another general anesthetic but the operation took just under two hours. It ended up diagnosing me with endometriosis, something I knew was a possibility but really didn't want especially after everything that has happened it felt like the final straw. It is an incurable condition which can cause infertility which for me personally would be the worst thing ever. BUT there are lots of pain management options and it's better to know at this age than find out when you've been trying for a baby for years. I haven't had my post op appointment yet so I don't know how bad it is and on what organs, and there is nothing I can do but hope for the best and try and stay positive! The recovery was worse than I was expecting and it put a hold on my physiotherapy as I couldn't even sit up without pulling the stitches for a few days. But seriously if I could have a break and some good news soon that would be great aha :)

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

19th August 2013 - One year 'Anniversary'...

This post might end up being quite short compared to some of my (OK all of my) other posts. But I thought it was about time I posted since we have now passed the elusive 'one year anniversary'..

Firstly I feel odd using the word 'Anniversary', that implies a happy occasion I think like wedding anniversaries and '6 month' and '1 year' anniversaries that happy new couples count. But I don't know what other word to use so it will have to stick! Any suggestions greatly received!
But anyway Monday 19th August 2013 marked one year since the horrific events of Sunday 19th August 2012. The build up was awful I'm not ashamed to say I have been dreading this date pretty much since the crash happened. It's hard to explain, it's not that I'm superstitious and thought the same thing or another traumatic event would happen on it (although I can be superstitious..) it just stirred up so many emotions and fears.

I hated the idea of having to say 'August 2012' instead of 'Last August' when people ask about the crash. I thought somehow people would stop caring when it was over a year ago. I was scared I would spend the next six weeks reliving every event from the scene and hospital. I hate it when people say 'when this is over' because to me that implies that one day I'll wake up with no scars no mobility issues or impending arthritis no flash backs and no memory of this. You get the picture, in general I was terrified of this date the mere thought of it made me feel sick! But in all honesty it wasn't as bad as I thought. I cried and felt sick but I went to physio and then spent the day with Joss just relaxing together trying to keep busy. Nobody stopped caring and expected me to miraculously heal overnight because 'it had been a year' so all in all it was OK. I did have a few more flash backs and for a few days I couldn't stop thinking about what I was doing in hospital on each date - that was overshadowed when I had another operation but I'll talk about that in another post - my neighbours even sent flowers which really touched me that they remembered the date and acknowledged that I would be feeling low it was absolutely lovely!

 DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

June/July '13 - Everyone's leaving, Pub's, Parking and Nasal reconstruction...

    On the 6th June I had another trauma/orthopedics/bone review. Nothing much to report from this one, had my Xrays and my left leg is still making steady progress after being stubborn and refusing to grow back at all for 5 months!

    At the beginning of June I was preparing for 5 days without my main man Joss! He was jetting off to Amsterdam for two of his friends 21st birthdays. I'm not going to lie I was extremely jealous and especially annoyed at the driver who caused all this and meant I couldn't go! I was apprehensive as the longest I haven't seen him for since the crash is two days, for company if nothing else - I get so lonely! It also happened to coincide with my parents going to the Lake district with my grandparents for a week so I was 'fending for myself' (my 17 year old brother was here too) for the first time in 10 months. But it went fine, I missed him but I managed not to cause myself any more injuries which is a plus!

My main man in Amsterdam!

      On the 22nd June I saw the upstairs in Joss's house for the first time in 10 months! Which meant I also saw his little Gecko 'Shisha' too! I took my crutches to his house so I could get upstairs using the same method as at home. 

An old photo of Shisha having a bath!

And one of his bearded dragon so he doesn't feel left out!

     For the last 10 months (minus time in hospital) I have been having to ask at bars and reception areas for the key to places disabled toilet. Not all of them have keys but a lot do and I didn't have my own! But I finally got one and so decided (now I don't have to ask to use the loo!) to venture to the pub on a Friday night for the first time since the crash on the 28th June. It didn't go as well as planned, it was really overwhelming being in such a busy pub and I felt really self conscious. Partly due to the wheelchair and partly due to my hair and general appearance I felt like I looked so different to the last time I was in there. It also didn't help that I still couldn't go to the loo alone because the door is SO heavy I wouldn't be able to get out. Why would you make a disabled toilet door the weight of an elephant?! And I didn't feel I could drink too much partly for fear of hurting my poor liver that has had enough of a rough year being burst! and because I felt too vulnerable in my chair. Anyway I shed a lot of tears on the way back to Joss's (my house is too far from town) but hopefully it will only get easier, now I've done the first time.

My new toilet key!

     On the 12th July I had my first operation since leaving hospital. One of my injuries was my nose, most obviously the left nostril was pretty much torn off (I've been told that it looked like a skeleton face where there's just a hole instead of a nose, which is hard to hear) luckily that was one of the first things addressed at hospital and was stitched back on before I was even found a bed in Intensive Care. THANK YOU whoever did that for me. Clearly my nose took a lot of force and this meant that my septum (the inside partition in the centre of your nose) was bent out of shape meaning I couldn't breathe from the left side. So on the 12th July that was finally reconstructed! It was really emotional being back in a gown in a bed being wheeled down by the nurse and it brought back so much. The worst part was coming round afterwards (I explained Here that I pulled myself out of a coma in ITU at 3am not knowing where I was unable to move which was the worst time of my life and I still have nightmares about it) I woke up after the operation while they were removing the tube from my throat which sent me straight back to that and in my sedated state I really freaked out. Once I was back on the ward I was ok though, my nose really hurt and I felt groggy but after 5 hours I was allowed to go home. I had packing in my nose and swelling so I couldn't breathe through my nose at all which as I happened to get it done during a heat wave was not great! I ended up sleeping sat up with a straw in my mouth so I didn't shut my mouth and wake myself up! And I couldn't taste a thing for almost two weeks which was not good! I also had to wear a really attractive bandage under my nose for 10 days to catch blood and protect against infection. Luckily it was all done internally so they made no incisions on the outside and my stitches will stay in about 6 weeks and then come out by themselves! Watch this space to see if the operation worked!  

Probably the worst photo ever taken of me - back on the ward

Other events of note in June/July...

• I started Yoga at home with an amazing instructor, lot's of sitting on a ball and breathing!
• I started psychotherapy/Counselling at a private practice thanks to my occupational health team.
• I dyed my hair for the first time since the crash and although it was distressing having half the amount of hair I felt better after it.
• Me and Joss had joint therapy sessions.
• I got MAD at the council after they rejected our appeal against a disabled parking charge (this will get it's very own post soon!)
• Joss's sister/one of my best friends Rhianna left for 6 weeks to go on a trip to central America :(
• The UK had a heatwave, like an actual heatwave with actual heat!

Picnic in the park with Naomi, Beckie and Ella!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

May '13 - Katie Piper, Sarah Millican and a Shower in my own house!...

    I'm going to start May off with another strange - 'wheelchair reaction' shall we call it? It was around the 4th May I think and me and Joss went to Kidderminster to meet some friends (It was a bit emotional actually because stupidly I didn't realise it was the first part of the route we took to get to and from the safari park that day and we had to park near the mcdonalds we stopped at on the way home) 
Anyway we went for a drink and as we left the pub and headed down the high street at around 6pm we encountered a rather drunk lady. I could tell she was going to come over and she did. She kept looking at me, and after complimenting Joss on his shorts...Decided to turn on a very patronising voice and pull a sad face and ask why I was in a wheelchair. I told her very briefly about the crash and hoped she would leave. Instead she said 'oh my god' a lot and then decided to hold my hand...so as we were trying to leave and Joss was pushing me she was walking along side holding my hand eventually she stopped and said a few more 'oh my god' 'how awful' type things and then hugged me so tight I actually thought my jaw might crack again!  
If anyone who reads this has any funny/strange wheelchair or disability reactions please comment or send them me on twitter I would love to read them! https://twitter.com/1992_georgia

   On the 9th May I went upstairs in my house for the first time in over 8 months! I have been having physiotherapy since I was in hospital and it has progressed from using a machine to bend my leg at the very beginning to finally being able to begin weight-bearing 5 months later. 3 months on from that I can finally begin to use steps/stairs. To do this we have had to have railings and bars built in our home to allow me to get up them. Now they are built, I use one crutch and have the other arm holding the left hand rail and using right foot first can get up one step at a time. I'm not allowed to do it without someone following me with their arms braced across the rails in case I fall because I'm pretty unsteady on my feet! It was very weird seeing upstairs again, my bedroom door is directly ahead at the top of the stairs and is covered in so many pictures/stickers/leaflets (even a first class train head rest cover..) from when I was about 16 it was like looking at someone else's door. I couldn't face going into my room just yet I think that will be quite hard.

Here I am at the top of the stairs! 

   On May 15th I had my FIRST shower in my own home for 8 months 3 weeks and 5 days. The last time I was in there I was getting ready for the safari park. We originally thought I'd be able to get upstairs in November 2012 so to finally be allowed 6 months later than that was a big achievement! I got some great equipment from my occupational therapist so as long as someone helps me up and downstairs I can shower independently!

My shower equipment in my own bathroom!

    A while ago I was contacted by the Katie Piper Foundation (KPF) after speaking to another girl online who was left with bad scarring after a road accident. I was invited by the KPF to begin attending their events which I was really happy about because I'm not sure how to deal with my burns and scars emotionally. On the 19th May I attended my first event which was a pamper day at a very nice salon in Birmingham. I had my hair trimmed to sort out any split ends which was great because I'm very self concious of the fact that it is so uneven and there is a big scar in the middle of one side so to have someone do it in that environment made me feel more at ease. I had my make up done by a fantastic volunteer who was really funny and you didn't feel like you were there because you had something horrible happen. Katie piper herself painted my nails and we were given amazing goody bags with scar treatment and sun cream as well as really fancy make up for free! It was also the first time in exactly 9 months I've done anything remotely independent as Joss was able to just drop me off and then pick me up at the end. 

   On the 23rd May me and Joss took a little 'road trip' to Manchester together. One of my birthday presents this year was Sarah Millican's DVD and I decided I really wanted to see her live. I was trying to persuade Joss to take me to her 2013/2014 tour when I received an email with links to tickets for her warm up gigs! £7 to see her and 3 other comedians in small venues, yes please! I opted for Manchester as it was the closest and told Joss I'd buy his ticket if he got the car for the weekend which he did. So on the first day we found our hotel (good old premier inn) and got something to eat after wheeling round Manchester city centre before going to see her at the Frog and Bucket. It was a great place, a small bar/venue but they were great about the wheelchair and we had a really good table with a good view but not in the way. It was a brilliant night and the acts were hilarious. The next day we went to the War Museum and had a peek at the TV studios before we headed back. All in all a very good weekend! In fact a pretty good month!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

MARCH & APRIL '13 - Spain, Jewellery making and flying with a wheelchair...

      So I'm going to try my very best not to ramble on too much about any of the things I got up to in March and April, because looking back at my diary there seem to be quite a few and I'm sure you don't want to be reading a dissertation length blog post!
 
  On March 15th I got another exciting parcel in the post. I love getting parcels, It doesn't matter what's in them there is something exciting about receiving a parcel.. This particular parcel was from my occupational therapist and was a wheelchair tray. Something I never thought I would be excited to get but hey that's what my life has become! And I can now go to the kitchen make something to eat or drink and transport it back to my room myself. Something I haven't been able to do for 7 months now!...

My snazzy new wheelchair tray and celebratory hot liquid transportation (soup)

       On March 23rd I decided to start a blog! This blog to be precise, I kept getting annoyed at myself 1. for forgetting to write in my diary to keep up to date and 2. For never being able to tell people how I really am. So finally 7 months on it clicked that maybe I could have a blog? Maybe no-one would read it but if they did want to know really what happened, and how it has affected me they could. I decided to start from the beginning which is why you are currently reading 'March/April '13' written in August. I am desperately trying to get up to date so I can really use it as a place to express what's going on as it happens!

A little snap of me test running wig/hat combinations in March

     On the 29th March I went to Spain! Joss's parents needed to go to look at houses and after the crash decided to take me as well which I was very grateful for. If nothing else Spain gave me a week of using a real toilet and using a shower inside my own 'house' for the first time in over 7 months. The actual getting there and back was a bit of a hassle, we had to go to the plane way earlier than everyone else and use this weird lift which was in a truck to get onto the plane. Then I had to use an aisle chair and literally be dragged to my seat and then reverse that to get off the plane. Sadly we didn't get on first and the plane was full of people as I was being dragged to my seat. I also have no idea what they would of suggested if I needed the toilet on the plane as they left the aisle seat at the airport both ways luckily it was a relatively short flight! 

  Our villa was nice, however the woman had informed Joss's parents that it was totally wheelchair friendly and had no steps...when we arrived there were 2 steps to get onto the patio/pool area and then another 3 to get into the villa! Which meant a combination of being lifted in and out and practicing using my crutches. It also meant that as back home I couldn't go in or outside without help. 
   The shower was massive and although it was frankly amazing to have a shower in my 'home' and be able to have one whenever I liked Joss had to help me. We acquired a chair to use as my shower chair and I would wheel up to the shower then Joss would stand me up and half carry me to the other chair where I would get undressed then he would go away and come back in 20 minutes and reverse the procedure so I could get dressed in my wheelchair. Now yes everyone gets undressed in front of their boyfriends/girlfriends but at 20 it's not exactly fun being carried in and out of a shower by them!
   I could get in the pool too which was brilliant and my physiotherapist was very happy about that as it's brilliant exercise when you can't walk. It was absolutely freezing in the pool but I had to make the most of being able to stand up un-aided in the water (how cool is that!).

   One thing I never really thought about before this is, if you have scars especially burns you have to be extremely careful in the sun. You have to use really high factor sun cream and keep them covered. The sun is really damaging to skin and more so to scars it can not only make them look worse but if you have skin grafts and burns you are at a higher risk of skin cancer - great! So I carried baby sun cream everywhere in spain.

This is an aisle chair used to get me to my seat on the plane.

Sort of photo of our villa/Rhianna

Tackling the stairs with Joss!

Little example of a piece I have created

         Lastly on April 24th I was put down for another operation. I'm sure I have mentioned before that my left nostril was pretty much ripped off in the collision and some amazing nurse stitched it back on whilst I was in a coma! I haven't been able to breathe through the left nostril since I woke up in ITU but as with a few other things it wasn't really looked into at the time because there were so many other things going on that could of killed or permanently disabled me. But eventually after being referred to an ENT consultant I was told the septum was deviated (if you felt inside it felt like a wiggly line) so now I'm down to have that fixed! Which I am very glad about because aside from the whole 'not being able to breathe properly thing' it has caused me to get sinusitis almost once a month which is pretty miserable! 


Oh one very last thing, I'll leave you with a Facebook status of mine from the 25th April which looking back I can find funny! -
 ''Having to wait in the same area as the sexual health people getting stared at and hearing ''whys she here she's in a wheelchair..'' ONE - what a narrow minded uneducated thing to say, TWO - actually NO I wasn't there for my weekly STI test like you love!''

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

FEB '13 - Court case, Waiting list for operations and Joss's 21st...

   I'll skip past Valentine's Day and go straight to February 17th, Joss's 21st birthday. I felt pretty bad because he didn't get to do anything really good for it because I couldn't have joined in and he felt too bad to do anything that I would be missing out on. In the end he just had a night out in Cheltenham with some mates, which I was upset not to be able to go to but I felt more guilty that he couldn't do something better. On the actual day we went for a family meal at Jimmy Spices and although it was a good evening the food was not great haha. I tried to make up for him not doing anything too fun by getting him a surprise gift of a bungee jump. I was apprehensive about it before I even bought it because I am now scared of everything that could induce these kind of injuries...but he loved it so hopefully the cord wont snap! I didn't mention in the last post but January 8th was our 4 year anniversary, pretty impressive but it's safe to say I love him more than ever now and he has had to see me in a horrific state and thought I was dead and I don't think I'd of coped if it was the other way round. Here's a cheesy picture 1st is us in 2009 at Sonisphere festival and the 2nd at his sister Rhianna's birthday meal in October (leaning on my wheelchair!)

February 18th was the day of the court case. I'm not going to go into the legal stuff - what happened and the result - purely because I'm not sure if I am allowed. As this was the other driver's fault (that much has been completely clear from day 1) we have a claim - something that was started before I even woke up from my coma - and I don't want to affect that. I can tell you that it was one of the hardest days of my life. Joss had obviously met the person who did this as he was completely conscious at the scene but I hadn't. Apparently they did not act in a 'helpful way' shall we say at the scene and I didn't really want to face them 6 months on. We had to wait a long time at the court and I had to be briefed on the fire procedure and sign to say I was happy to be evacuated on a special stair chair in the event of a fire. This heightened my emotions as if it wasn't for THEIR actions I wouldn't be using a chair at all. I cried silently pretty much from when we arrived, Joss's parent's went up stairs while we waited for the lift and came back looking worried to say 'they' were up there. My heart felt like it flew into my mouth, I felt absolute horror and panic. I didn't want to see them. I didn't want to be there. I looked away and they pushed me straight to the furthest waiting area around a corner. After a long wait we were called into quite a small court room where I saw them for the first time. I was parked at the back feeling very fragile in my wheelchair my head wound and remains of my hair wrapped up in a scarf. They tried to speak to me while the court adjourned but it was too distressing and the fact they didn't even know my name said it all to me. Joss had decided to write them a letter explaining all my injuries and what I had endured and was still enduring because if the punishment wasn't going to be severe we needed them to know what they had actually done. It was extremely hard and I'm so thankful I had Joss there with me to hold me and understand that the fact the court case was done didn't mean anything was over for me. I'm not going to go into that anymore because I will never shut up...
 
   By some luck that same evening I was going to see Circus of Horrors with Joss's family for his 21st birthday. We saw it at the Birmingham new alexandra theatre, and I have to say the disabled access was ok. I was however quite annoyed that as we were let in the side entrance the attendant decided to ask me if I needed the toilet before I went in, in front of everyone. I'm sorry but... really?! If you want to let me know where the disabled toilet is just say 'Just to let you know our disabled toilet is down there'...but anyway the show was AMAZING. Some of the acts were just insane, swallowing swords, hanging by their hair, acrobatics mid air! The only problem was that because we had to sit in the disabled area the balcony above blocked our view of some of the aerial acts but all in all it was a good end to what started as a very horrible day.
 

   I had an appointment with my burn's consultant on February 26th where I was put on the list for an operation on my scalp. After I was driven over I was dragged over 10 metres at which point my helmet was partly smashed and ripped of my head removing a large chunk of my chin. My head along with the rest of me was dragged along the road resulting in a large part of the right side of my scalp was completely rubbed/scraped/torn off. As well as hair being cut and shaved off around it this has left me with a big scar on my head about 2.5 inches wide and 4 inches long which hair will never grow through. So they essentially want to cut that out, pull it together and staple it in place. This will leave a scar but will be a big improvement on what I have now. My only worries are about it being too tight and them having to use expansion which is where they place a balloon under the skin and fill it with saline solution over a long period of time to stretch the skin. But we'll take it as it comes! 

I'll leave this post with a few pictures from February...

My fab nails done by my friend Naomi!

A little mini visitor with my friend Beckie!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

JAN '13 - New years eve, STANDING UP!!!!, Loose women and a Wig...

  So I thought I would write about New Years Eve in January not December (living life on the edge!).  New Year was always going to be difficult, as a 20 year old woman generally you want to dress up, dance and essentially get very very drunk. I couldn't do that this year. Very kindly Joss's family offered to have a party at there house so that I could celebrate with my friends at least and it was good and hopefully everyone had a great time. It's just that nothing is simple anymore, in order to go to their house and stay over night I had to bring my ramps to get through the front door and the commode chair to put over their downstairs toilet (thank God they have a downstairs toilet!), which involved taking the ramps from the front door and using them from the step in the kitchen into the utility area. Once in there Joss had to move the ramps to wheel me out of the sink room and down the 'corridor' to the toilet room and help me onto the commode chair and then wheel that over the toilet and vise versa to get back to the kitchen. This meant no-one else could use the downstairs toilet and every time I went everyone had to move out of the kitchen drawing loads of attention to it. I also tried to dress a bit nicer which resulted in me breaking down. I lost a LOT of weight in hospital but after coming out I started to gain it back, however I can't do any exercise at all so I could eat half of what I ate before the crash and still gain weight. I've also lost a massive amount of muscle in my legs meaning they aren't the same shape at all as before. And let's not even delve too deep into the fact I only have half my hair left. Let's just say I felt absolutely hideous and I have never had this little confidence in my whole life. I got to spend the night with Joss though for the first time in nearly 5 months as they had set up the front room with a bed which was worth it.

   On the 3rd January I had another trauma/orthopedic/bone review. I had the usual long wait and xrays and then another long wait before seeing a doctor for a talk through the xrays. You could still see all the black lines in my pelvis where the breaks are/were but it was FINALLY knitting back together. My left thigh is held together with a big metal plate and screws (A 9 hour operation I had while still in a coma). They had to remove a large section of bone so there is a big gap between the two ends of bone but after 5 months it was showing signs of growth. And so almost 5 months on I was told I was allowed to start weight-bearing in physiotherapy. I think I was in shock really, at first I was told 12 weeks no weight-bearing and I'd been to 3 reviews hoping for good news and leaving with nothing since coming out of hospital. And yet I wasn't even that happy...I don't know why I think it was just fear really. I didn't know what this meant would I be able to just get up and walk?
Luckily the same day I had psychotherapy and physiotherapy appointments as well. (Another full day spent at the QE) In psychotherapy I was told I probably have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I'll talk more about that in another post I think.
And in Physiotherapy I STOOD UP. I was scared. I was excited. I was sad. It was unbelievably hard and it hurt. But I did it, put my feet on the floor and was upright for the first time since I stood next to Joss's bike and climbed on behind him for the short trip home that ended in complete horror. My mom cried, Joss cried and had to leave the room, but here it is ....   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDmhIcdtjow   



On the 9th January I went to watch Loose Women Live... Yes I know very random! In December I checked my email for things from the solicitors and other less fun things and found one telling me I had two tickets to be in the audience of Loose Women. I had completely forgotten applying for tickets I think I did it while in hospital! So on the 9th January me and my mom got up very early for the long journey to London! Now as usual this was so hassle free trip it involved driving to Birmingham, waiting in an office for someone to escort us to the train to put out ramps, once in London we had to wait for the person to remember I was stuck on the train and come with the ramps to get us off. We couldn't get the tube because our stops didn't have wheelchair access, so we wandered around trying to find the right bus, regularly finding ourselves staring at steps and having to go a long way round! Eventually we made it to the studios and were allowed to skip the waiting outside thanks to the wheelchair (Its got to have some perks!). All of the seats were up steps so I had to 'park' by the camera men and women which was pretty cool. It was good it's weird seeing famous people or people 'from the telly' in real life. Sadly we didn't have any time to look around London as we had to make the long journey back but it was most certainly a good day out!

Disabled ramps for the train

     I think I've mentioned enough times in this blog that I had to have half of my long hair shaved off in this accident. Firstly the plait had to be cut off as it was trapped in the car, and then most of the rest of the right side of my scalp was shaved off due to my head injury. I've spent the last months wearing hats, head scarves and stuff to cover the area or disguise the fact that I have the most ridiculous hair I have ever seen now. Yes I could cut it all off but why should I? None of this was my fault, I've spent a long time growing my hair and really really struggle with the fact half of it has been taken away as well as so many other things because of HER actions. So my occupational therapy team asked her insurance to pay for me to have a wig. I might not wear it much and no I'm not completely bald but it gives me the option on days where I really can't cope with it to pretend I still at least have normal hair. What do you think?...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

DEC '12 - Desperate for visitors, An African reunion and a difficult Christmas time...

   August 8th 2011 I flew to Morocco on my own. I was going to volunteer with street children, within orphanages and various other locations. When I got on that flight I was absolutely crapping myself, I thought what if no-ones there with a sign waiting for me or it's some sort of scam or I get kidnapped at the airport! You'll be pleased to know none of that happened (well my pick up man was an hour late but he got there!) and it was the most amazing time! Anyway back to December 2012, two girls I met while in Morocco visited and we had a mini reunion. It was weird thinking what had happened since I last saw them 16 months ago, I was working in mountains and trekking waterfalls with them and now I was sat in a wheelchair. In fact I flew home on August 22nd 2011 and on August 22nd 2012 I was in intensive care having just come out of a coma. It was lovely to see them though and get out of the house and have some company.

A very small selection of photo's from Morocco!   

   Speaking of visitors December is when I started to really wish I had more of them. When the crash happened obviously everyone who knows you is horrified and so worried, so you're inundated with people asking to see you and sending cards and what not. But 4 months on I felt I was seriously lacking in people wanting to see me. I'm sure everyone still cared but I think people just assume when you've left hospital you're ok. Although everyone knew I couldn't put any weight through my legs and I needed more operations and everything else, I don't think it's easy to understand what that really means. When I say I'm living in the front room, I can't leave the house alone I mean exactly that. I can't even get a drink or anything to eat or my tablets myself meaning my mom has had to be off work for 4 months now and as she is a midwife that isn't great. I'm in constant pain and emotionally finding it really hard. Saying that some people have been amazing and try to speak to me and visit whenever they can and Joss is literally here any time he isn't at work and I couldn't cope without him.

Joss (without a head) pushing me around Stratford for his sisters birthday

  Christmas was pretty hard this year. While everyone was out getting monumentally drunk I was sat in bed downstairs injecting my stomach (I've been on daily blood thinning injections since the crash). I had bed covers as my main present because I just didn't know what to ask for, I can't go out and do stuff, I don't wear clothes that I normally wear, my hair is half shaven I just didn't know who I was anymore really. We even had to have our Christmas tree and open our presents in the hallway because I'm living in the room we normally do it in and it's too full of all my equipment. My wheelchair had to be lifted over the step in and out of the conservatory to eat Christmas dinner with my family and visiting grandparents. On a happier note I was invited to Nuneaton in the evening with Joss's family to have a meal with his grandparents and aunties and uncles which got me out the house and was really nice. My best present was realizing how easily I could of not been here to see this Christmas and just spending time with both of our families. 

My downstairs bedroom made Christmassy with lights and a mini tree!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx