June/July 2014 - More surgery and progress :)...

      FIRSTLY just a 'warning' I am including photo's of some of my scars in this post so if you wouldn't like to see don't scroll down!

 



        On the 17th July I had the second stage of my scalp revision surgeries. The first of which I had in October which I wrote about here, the second stage involved the same as the first. Remove as much of the scar as possible and pull both sides together to create a smaller scar, and in the case of scalp scarring like mine reduce the area of baldness. The operation went well, it's painful and you have a sort of half face lift while the skin stretches but to have less of a bald patch is fantastic. I underwent some more steroid injections to my shoulder scar while I was under the anesthetic as well which will hopefully flatten the large lump on it but I didn't see much change after the injections I had on Christmas eve.

Not the best photo as my hairs covering some of it, but this is after 1st stage before 2nd stage (the scar constantly scabbed) 

After on the day of the operation

     The reason I chose to include photo's and have done in some past post's is because on many occasions I've found myself googling things about surgeries, injuries. treatments and experiences I've had or got. Either to try and find information or see that I'm not the only one, one of the main aims of this blog is the possibility it could help someone else. I'm also happy to answer any questions about any of my injuries and treatments just ask :)

    I'm still having driving lessons and if/when I pass my test I will be able to make steps towards starting work... It feels strange even typing that! I am extremely lucky in that I was going to begin a great opportunity at the time of the crash, although it was awful timing (not that there's a good time to have a life changing trauma!) they are so supportive that it has been held for me and they are very flexible with my abilities and the limited hours I will be able to work so I can start long before I would be able to in most jobs. I struggle with pain and still use two sticks to get around but when I've passed my driving test I will be able to drive to work and therefore save all my physical energy for the few hours I will be there, safe to say I'm very excited! :)

On that note I actually have to go for a driving lesson now!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

March 2014 - Glastonbury & Harry Potter Studio Tour...

    In the last couple of weeks I have had two exciting trips out woohoo!
On the 20th March me and my lovely mom took a trip to Glastonbury in Somerset. This was especially special as it is a trip we had planned almost 2 years ago and we were due to go about 3 days after the crash. My mom said it's one of the first things I remembered when I was in intensive care after waking up from my coma and I kept getting very upset about it. I think in that sort of situation you can't possibly compute the magnitude of what's happened and what it might mean so you think of the little things like not being able to go to Glastonbury! (I think I was even upset I'd miss a hospital appointment I'd got booked by my gp..) Ironically we originally wanted to go as we hardly saw each other with her working shifts as a midwife and me being a general 19 year old with a work and social life and we have now spent the best part of 20 months together haha. We only went to the town to look at the shops and stuff but it was really nice! I used my wheelchair mostly but it's lovely to now be able to stand up and look around a shop using my stick!

The pub we had lunch in had 5 cats! Better than the 'cat cafe' we paid to visit in Budapest!  

   And on Wednesday Joss took me to the Harry Potter studios! It was my Christmas present from him but we waited until his operation was done and settled before we went. It was SO good! I'm definitely not a mad Harry Potter fan, I didn't used to queue up for the books or have to be at the first showing of each film but I have seen them all and I do love the films. (In fact Joss and I watched them all again when I came home from hospital) I think the fact the first film came out when I was 9 and the last when I was 18 means we sort of grew up with it and I admit I was a bit sad when the last film ended..
I think turning the studios into a tour was a brilliant idea and it is so well done. The sets have so much detail that they don't really feel like sets and it's a great opportunity to appreciate just how many people were part of putting the films together, and the amount of talent is insane! I definitely recommend a visit and if you do have a 'butter beer' I suggest sharing one, me and Joss did and half a cup was definitely enough! I'll just put a few of the many photo's I took up or you might be here a while...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Scalp Operation and 21st birthday celebrations!

   I have neglected this blog for a whole month and although I only have two official followers I have had over 8500 views (If you read this blog please give me a follow!) so I apologise for that!

  On October 17th I had an operation on my scalp. You can see a full list of my injuries here but as I was run over and dragged beneath the car my helmet was broken and ripped upwards meaning my head was dragged along the tarmac.  

*Please don't anyone read this and think 'helmets are pointless then' because the car tyres drove into/over my skull before I was dragged and I don't need to go into details of what would of happened to my skull/brain if I wasn't wearing my helmet. That is also why you need to take great care of your helmet and always wear one that fits you perfectly and one that you can be certain has never been dropped.*
Obviously this left me with a large area on the right side of my scalp that was missing skin this led to half of my hair being cut and shaved to prevent infection. With intensive treatment and care the area healed over with scar tissue covering my skull up again nicely! While the outer area of scar tissue began pushing new hairs through, the deepest central area was essentially pure scar tissue from the skull up so it stayed bald and numb. My fantastic burns and plastics consultants put a plan together to remove as much of the scar as possible and try and close it up to give me a thinner scar and therefore less obvious bald patch. Too avoid expansion surgery (insertion of a balloon under the skin which is regularly filled with saline to make extra skin) they opted to just pull the two sides together after the middle was cut out meaning it could be too tight and may take more than one operation.
As always I was mostly nervous about the waking up from the anesthetic, I wrote here that I pulled myself out of the coma and as you can imagine it was an extremely terrifying experience that left me scared of falling asleep for a while and each operation is a reminder of that. The operation went ok though and although I needed a drip and some extra oxygen for a while when I woke up I was allowed home the same day. This one was very painful and I so tight I genuinely couldn't lift my right eyebrow for two weeks. Oh and I wasn't allowed to wash my hair for two weeks! I wont know until my follow up on Christmas eve whether they need to do another operation on it and I can't see it myself in a mirror but I have some photo's taken by Joss which I will include, to me they are not very gross but feel free to skip past them!

The morning of the operation (yes those are white frazzled hairs trying to grow out of it)

2 weeks after looking smaller about to get the stitches out (surgical gel not grease!)

22nd of November was my 21st birthday! My 20th birthday wasn't great and although I still couldn't go on a wild night out or anything I have come a long way since then and wanted it to be special. With some help from Joss and some friends I decided to plan a weekend away, well that soon became two weekends away with two different sets of friends! I settled on Devon for 3 nights on my actual birthday with 11 friends and Budapest two weeks later with Joss and two other close friends. I have just come back from Devon and it was brilliant! I worked my arse off in physio for the last few months which really paid off with me being able to use crutches in the house and get out of my chair and walk a distance when we went to the beach, I was so happy! I did actually have to dose up on codeine and have a nap when we got back from the beach but who cares it was brilliant!

The day before my birthday three of my best friends, Naomi, Beckie and Aaron took me to TGI Fridays in Birmingham and then to the German market and it was genuinley probably the best night I've had since the crash. They made me feel so special and made such an effort with balloons, confetti, hand made cards and a birthday cake (which involved a rather embarrassing song from the staff...) The German market was amazing too and somehow I managed to attract a polish man who took a liking to me and went off and brought me a birthday present!

I spent the morning of my birthday with my mom before Joss picked me up for the 3 hour drive to Devon. My mom is absolutely incredible she always has been and she has literally done everything for me since the crash. She had to be told I would probably die, she sat with me while I was in a coma, she rushed to me when I woke up from it at 3am, she sat in a chair next to my bed all day and night every night for the first week, she got to me at 10am every morning stayed until 2pm when Joss came drove home and came all the way back at 6pm to sit with me until 8am every single day I was in hospital and when I came home she washed me, emptied my commode and took me shouting at her when I couldn't cope anymore. She went to the effort of getting me 21 presents for my 21st birthday, not all big fancy things but lovely stuff that made me smile. One of them was even an elephant she had knitted (elephants are my favourite animal) despite only having knitted a few things before and having the kitten unravel it twice!
I hope everyone knows how grateful I am for making this birthday so special and I cannot wait for the next installment in Budapest!!!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Sep '13 - One year post discharge, Seeing my bedroom and a trip to Cadbury world...

So today - September 27th 2013 is one year since I was discharged from hospital. I explained how hard that was in this earlier post I was still naive then I thought as soon as I got home it would all be over, but really emotionally the worst was yet to come. I didn't come home in a sense, I came back to my house where I had a new room downstairs, no real toilet, I didn't wear my old clothes, I didn't look like myself, think like myself or do anything I used to do.
A year on from that date - I still use a wheelchair, I'm still having operations, I have therapy/councelling most weeks, I have physiotherapy every week, I can't leave the house alone, I still have a compression garment, I massage my scars several times a day, I'm still in pain, I have a variety of hospital appointments and my femur/thigh still hasn't grown back.

On a lighter note I went to Cadbury world last week! I haven't been in like 10 years (maybe because I'm supposed to be 20) so I was pretty excited, me and Naomi were planning to go but thought it more acceptable if we take her niece and nephew...So it ended up us two, Flynn, Lauren and Lauren's mum Helen. I have to say it was a pretty good day, I can't remember what you used to get but we got 3 bars of chocolate, a shot of melted chocolate and a cup of our choice of sweets covered in melted chocolate from a place called essence. The kids seemed to really enjoy it and the outdoor play area was massive! My ticket price was reduced because I use a wheelchair but I'd recommend it to everyone, especially if you need to entertain children for the day!

I also went in my actual bedroom for the first time since I left it the morning of 'crash day'. Something I'm not ashamed to say I've been dreading, for the first 9 months I couldn't go upstairs at all and since then I've been gradually getting up more and more but still sleep downstairs. My therapist helped me put a plan together for going in and I suppose it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was really hard seeing all my old clothes and  magazines dated the week of the accident. I went shopping with Beckie the week of the accident and there are year old clothes in there I've never had the chance to wear. The clothes I wore that day aren't there because they had to be cut off my mangled body. Probably worst of all my diary still open on that week with 'safari park with Joss!' written in it. It is like looking at someone else's stuff and it's almost like grieving for the 'old Georgia' because I feel so far away from that. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing that I thought it would all sink in when I went in there but it didn't. My therapist say's I completely disassociate from it and can easily talk about the crash as if I'm reading a script which I suppose isn't good because it really really doesn't feel real. Probably partly because I literally woke up from a coma and had to believe what I was being told with no recollection of it happening! 

My mess of a wardrobe

Quite different from my beige downstairs room

Completely unaware of what was going to happen

Year old clothes still waiting to be worn

I think I'll follow this post with one purely on my physical updates so it doesn't all get mushed together and is easier to find if anyone does happen to stumble across this blog! If you do read this blog and you don't really know me please feel free to comment and say 'Hi' I love hearing from people who have found this little blog xxx
DRIVE SAFE, George 

JAN '13 - New years eve, STANDING UP!!!!, Loose women and a Wig...

  So I thought I would write about New Years Eve in January not December (living life on the edge!).  New Year was always going to be difficult, as a 20 year old woman generally you want to dress up, dance and essentially get very very drunk. I couldn't do that this year. Very kindly Joss's family offered to have a party at there house so that I could celebrate with my friends at least and it was good and hopefully everyone had a great time. It's just that nothing is simple anymore, in order to go to their house and stay over night I had to bring my ramps to get through the front door and the commode chair to put over their downstairs toilet (thank God they have a downstairs toilet!), which involved taking the ramps from the front door and using them from the step in the kitchen into the utility area. Once in there Joss had to move the ramps to wheel me out of the sink room and down the 'corridor' to the toilet room and help me onto the commode chair and then wheel that over the toilet and vise versa to get back to the kitchen. This meant no-one else could use the downstairs toilet and every time I went everyone had to move out of the kitchen drawing loads of attention to it. I also tried to dress a bit nicer which resulted in me breaking down. I lost a LOT of weight in hospital but after coming out I started to gain it back, however I can't do any exercise at all so I could eat half of what I ate before the crash and still gain weight. I've also lost a massive amount of muscle in my legs meaning they aren't the same shape at all as before. And let's not even delve too deep into the fact I only have half my hair left. Let's just say I felt absolutely hideous and I have never had this little confidence in my whole life. I got to spend the night with Joss though for the first time in nearly 5 months as they had set up the front room with a bed which was worth it.

   On the 3rd January I had another trauma/orthopedic/bone review. I had the usual long wait and xrays and then another long wait before seeing a doctor for a talk through the xrays. You could still see all the black lines in my pelvis where the breaks are/were but it was FINALLY knitting back together. My left thigh is held together with a big metal plate and screws (A 9 hour operation I had while still in a coma). They had to remove a large section of bone so there is a big gap between the two ends of bone but after 5 months it was showing signs of growth. And so almost 5 months on I was told I was allowed to start weight-bearing in physiotherapy. I think I was in shock really, at first I was told 12 weeks no weight-bearing and I'd been to 3 reviews hoping for good news and leaving with nothing since coming out of hospital. And yet I wasn't even that happy...I don't know why I think it was just fear really. I didn't know what this meant would I be able to just get up and walk?
Luckily the same day I had psychotherapy and physiotherapy appointments as well. (Another full day spent at the QE) In psychotherapy I was told I probably have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I'll talk more about that in another post I think.
And in Physiotherapy I STOOD UP. I was scared. I was excited. I was sad. It was unbelievably hard and it hurt. But I did it, put my feet on the floor and was upright for the first time since I stood next to Joss's bike and climbed on behind him for the short trip home that ended in complete horror. My mom cried, Joss cried and had to leave the room, but here it is ....   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDmhIcdtjow   



On the 9th January I went to watch Loose Women Live... Yes I know very random! In December I checked my email for things from the solicitors and other less fun things and found one telling me I had two tickets to be in the audience of Loose Women. I had completely forgotten applying for tickets I think I did it while in hospital! So on the 9th January me and my mom got up very early for the long journey to London! Now as usual this was so hassle free trip it involved driving to Birmingham, waiting in an office for someone to escort us to the train to put out ramps, once in London we had to wait for the person to remember I was stuck on the train and come with the ramps to get us off. We couldn't get the tube because our stops didn't have wheelchair access, so we wandered around trying to find the right bus, regularly finding ourselves staring at steps and having to go a long way round! Eventually we made it to the studios and were allowed to skip the waiting outside thanks to the wheelchair (Its got to have some perks!). All of the seats were up steps so I had to 'park' by the camera men and women which was pretty cool. It was good it's weird seeing famous people or people 'from the telly' in real life. Sadly we didn't have any time to look around London as we had to make the long journey back but it was most certainly a good day out!

Disabled ramps for the train

     I think I've mentioned enough times in this blog that I had to have half of my long hair shaved off in this accident. Firstly the plait had to be cut off as it was trapped in the car, and then most of the rest of the right side of my scalp was shaved off due to my head injury. I've spent the last months wearing hats, head scarves and stuff to cover the area or disguise the fact that I have the most ridiculous hair I have ever seen now. Yes I could cut it all off but why should I? None of this was my fault, I've spent a long time growing my hair and really really struggle with the fact half of it has been taken away as well as so many other things because of HER actions. So my occupational therapy team asked her insurance to pay for me to have a wig. I might not wear it much and no I'm not completely bald but it gives me the option on days where I really can't cope with it to pretend I still at least have normal hair. What do you think?...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

NOV '12 - My 20th birthday, another bad review, compression garments and more surgery on the cards... (graphic photos!)

 So November was actually quite eventful and I am very thankful I kept a diary until I started this blog so I can back date everything so accurately!

 Joss now has another motorbike as it was written off in the crash. I feel very anxious about it, on one hand I don't want the driver of that car to stop me from getting back on a motorbike on the other it absolutely terrifies me to the core. He needs transport to get to work and has every right to continue riding especially as none of this was in any way his fault. But I am terrified that he will be injured or killed, if you get hit on a bike you have no exterior to protect you as I experienced. But for now he texts me whenever he leaves/arrives somewhere and it gives me some peace of mind.

In November quite a few things happened actually -

1. On the 3rd me and Joss took a trip to the Sealife center in Birmingham - The first and last time we went anywhere similar was the safari park on the day of the collision and I did feel strange about it. But we got there and back ok and luckily they had good wheelchair access there so we could enjoy it!
2. On the 7th I finally got the right size wheelchair! - In hospital I was given a wheelchair which was too wide for me and promised a smaller one, I was discharged with the large one but when I got home found it barely fit through our door frames. We rang up but they said they couldn't change it. This is when the fact it was someone else's fault is of benefit, because we have a legal claim going on I have an amazing lady who's job it is to make sure I have things I need and she ordered me a brand spanking new wheelchair that is my size and can still fit my special pelvic support cushion and here it is!  

MY wheelchair!

3. On the 5th (I realize I have gone backwards here oops!) my injuries caused another injury!.. - In the crash I dislocated my collar bone, when making a flipping pot noodle of all things it gave way and the freshly boiled kettle poured over my leg. The left, smashed up leg to be precise. It was excruciating. Imagine doing that and not being unable to jump up. If I hadn't of had this accident I would of gone straight to A&E but I thought I would be wasting their time and I'd had so much more serious burns. When I showed my scar therapist she took me straight down to the nurse clinic (It pays to have contacts haha) and they dressed them one part was actually second degree. You literally couldn't make this stuff up, nearly die in horrific accident - get discharged - shoulder injury gives way and causes more burns!

                                               This is actually the kettle burn 2 weeks after I did it...

4. On the 16th I had some of my scalp cut off with scissors... - So I was currently seeing the nurses once a week for dressing changes on my back (burn/skin grafts), leg (water burn) and head (scalped by road). Today went as usual until my mom decided to query why I still had a HUGE scab on my scalp injury nearly 3 months on. I have put a picture on but basically the bald patch you can see was scraped off down to my skull by being dragged along the road (my helmet was driven over and smashed). The nurse decided to pull the scab off and have a look. Then I had several nurses all mmm'ing and ahh'ing around my head, apparently there was a big lump under the scab and they needed to cut it off. YES cut it off with scissors while I sat there YES it felt exactly as you would think! Then they needed to burn the stalk down with silver nitrate sticks, I've had them used on my back but that burn went so deep I couldn't feel them doing it, this time I could and it REALLY hurt! MORE cream and more dressings!

My head before scab removal. The pink area was mostly open down to my skull in the crash and all the uneven short hair was cut by the paramedics and then shaved in theater.

5. The 22nd was my birthday and a trauma review - Neither went well, I went for my review had Xrays and then saw a doctor It didn't go so well, they still aren't very happy with my pelvis or leg growth and have only agreed to me starting 50% weightbearing on the right leg and still 100% not on the left (which basically means I still cant even stand up. Then my mom took me shopping but it was not enjoyable. I couldn't get around the shops easily in my chair, I couldn't buy clothes I used to like because I need them to be comfy and I'm extremely self conscious of how I look now. I wear a scarf on my head everyday to cover up the hair removal and wound/scar. I feel very ugly and nothing like myself. I had all of my piercings taken out, half of my long hair cut off, have gained weight since leaving hospital but my legs are empty from muscle wastage and I have a lot scars.

6. On the 24th I was fitted for my compression garment and went out with friends for my birthday -  I have to have a compression top to help with my burn and other scars. It is extremely tight and does up with a zip, it basically tries to flatten the scars as much as possible and it covers my shoulder scar (skin removed even through leather jacket by being dragged down road), both of my lung drain scars, my full thickness burn on my back (melted to the cars exhaust) and my hip (similar to shoulder but with added stictches!) it's not comfy but it has to be done! After that I went into Birmingham with Joss, his sister and her boyfriend at the time to see the German Christmas market which was really nice. Then we met a group of friends for a meal in the mail box in Birmingham to try and celebrate my birthday. First off we arrived to a gormless waiter 'you can get up a step can't you' YES THATS WHY I ASKED FOR A WHEELCHAIR ACCESS TABLE! So I had to be lifted up a step to our table which was extremely embarrassing and degrading. THEN when I asked about toilets I was told it was downstairs so had to be lifted back down the step and use a tiny staff lift   platform to go down and back up. It was frankly horrible.

7. On the 26th I saw my burns consultant - I'll keep this one short! My compression garments are being altered and then posted to me and it is now official that I am going to need another 4 or 5 operations on my burns including my back and head but that wont be until the skin has healed more to lower the infection risk.

                                                                             Here I am in my lovely compression garment!

So it was a busy month and not really in a good way! I hope that didn't bore you to death and the photos weren't too gross!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

OCT 2012 missing hospital - what the hell?! + How I shower etc with no downstairs bathroom...

  So I spent an agonizing 6 weeks in hospital desperate to get home only to get home and wish I was back there...
You're all probably thinking 'what the hell?' 'Is she crazy?' 'why would anyone want to be in hospital?!'. And it is extremely hard to explain but this blog is for me to keep an honest accurate account of this accident and my recovery and this is how I felt.
   Don't get me wrong before this I never sat at home thinking 'I really wish I could be in a horrible accident' and while I was in hospital I did not enjoy it. But I didn't really 'get' what being home would be like...I didn't come home to my bedroom I had to move into our front room. To get into the house I have to use ramps so I'm a prisoner in my own home unable to enter or leave alone. I cannot go upstairs at all. We have no downstairs bathroom, this means as a 19 year old female I have to have a commode chair in my fake bedroom which my mother has to empty. The ONLY reason I'm talking about every aspect of this horrific crash and it's results (even the most embarrassing and soul destroying) is because I think it's important for people to see how this driver's dangerous choices have ****** up my life. To shower I have to be taken to my parents friends house as they have a disabled access downstairs shower. This means I can only shower twice a week and involves packing two cars with me, my ramps, my wheelchair, my transfer board, commode chair (doubles as shower chair) and clothes, wash stuff and towels.   I have to be wheeled in up my ramps through their living room, mom puts the chair in the shower base puts my wheelchair next to it, I transfer with the board, she puts the towels ect. out and leaves. I shower as best I can and then text her to come and do my back dressing and reverse the procedure to go home. YES it's good that they can even offer me showers at their house but it's degrading and exhausting.

                                          Ramps to get in and out of my front door (can't use backdoor)

Anyway back to missing hospital. In the middle of October I had my first of many 'trauma reviews', these involved me going to the QE to have xrays and a meeting with my trauma/orthopedic/bones consultant. From  day 1 I have been completely strictly NO weight bearing this means I cannot put ANY weight through EITHER of my legs and must use a wheelchair and transfer boards. I was not even allowed to be rolled onto my right side because I had a big fracture in my hip socket. At this review I spent hours waiting for xray and then a meeting with one of 'Mrs bones consultants' registrars (doctors). Just to receive BAD news...still NO weight bearing at all. I have about 7 breaks in my pelvis and hip socket, and my left thigh was so badly snapped they had to remove a section before plating it and it had not began to grown back and the pelvic fractures had not begun to heal.

It was the last straw really. I felt SO depressed - why had this happened? why me? why didn't the grafts work? why did I have to use a fake toilet when the person who did this to me was fine? I missed hospital, at least in hospital I could use a toilet now I could transfer. I really bonded with some nurses which is a weird thing because you spend so much time with them and then just leave. And you know what people care more when you're in hospital, I had been inundated with cards and flowers (which sadly died before I got home!) and now I needed visitors more than ever now I was living in my own version of hell no-one really came round.

A few more positive things from my time in hospital...

  So I looked through all my posts detailing my time in hospital and while trying to get all the horrible details in I missed the 'good' times where little things lifted my spirits so here's a little list!

• Joss (my boyfriend and the rider of the bike) visited me EVERY single day without fail. He walked to the train station in our town caught the 25/30 minute train to Birmingham and walked to hospital everyday and then back again. 
• My mom was allowed to come in at 10am every morning due to my age and the nature of it all so she did. Got up early every day drove 40 minutes to hospital and sat with me until 2 when Joss usually came, drove 40 minutes back home and a lot of days the came back for evening visiting! She helped me with going to the toilet and even sat there while I slept.
• As soon as I was able to get into a wheelchair Joss was thrilled and took me off my ward any day I was feeling up to it. Pushing me round, bag of wee on one side of the chair, box sucking gunk out of my back on the back of the chair all with his arm in a sling! Which meant I could go outside and get some air for a while.
• Joss's parent's, My step-dad, younger brother, and older brother and his wife as well as  friends - Pete, Sian, Rhianna, Beckie, Ryan, Charlotte and Naomi also came to visit me once, twice or a few times. (Hope I havn't missed anyone out!)
• The food was absolutley RANK and I lost so much weight from the trauma and trying to fight infections my mom used to sneak my dinners back out onto the trolley and bring me toast in the mornings and mcdonalds on good evenings. She even went to the shop and brough baguette, cheese, butter and a bottle of salad cream when I was craving a real sandwich!
• Joss brought me pizza wrapped in tin foil and even surprised me with a subway one of the days!
• I also discovered Branston pickle with sticks of cheese in the hospital WHsmith which is one good thing to come from this!

All of these things made an otherwise horrific, scary and painful hospital stay more bearable!

27th September - Discharged from hospital...

I struggle to start all of these posts but this one is especially hard. 'Discharged' sounds so final but it was just the beginning really.
I had to see the doctors and they explained that we were keeping the wound/burn clear of infection with the dressings and letting it heal over because the skin grafts hadn't worked. Then they would look into more surgery in the future. I would be coming back to the Queen Elizabeth pretty much every week as I would have appointments with -

• Nurse clinic for dressing changes 
• My Burns consultant 
• My trauma&orthopedics consultant
• Xray's - Pelvis, hip, femur (thigh), wrist
• Physiotherapy
• Psychotherapy
• My Liver consultant
  
                                                       My new second home QEHB
  

I spent the day in hospital having blood tests and waiting for my prescriptions to go through for my medications to take home. I was eventually discharged at about 5pm. Mum helped me into some horrible tracksuit bottoms and a jumper and shoes! Pretty much hadn't worn clothes or shoes for 6 weeks.
I then went round to give cards to those I wanted to thank. I left one at the burns unit and then Joss took me round to Critical care unit C, the intensive care ward I was on. I had a card for the nurse I had on the Tuesday (the day I woke up) and the nurse I had on the Wednesday. It was scary going in there again because I didn't know what it looked like before I was either in a coma or barely conscious. On there you have one to one nursing and the state I was in I got very attached to those nurses. Then I went up to 412 my main 'home' for my time in hospital. I had a collective card and chocolates for the staff and one for my favourite nurse. It's hard to explain the attachment and not everyone who's been in hospital will have it, I think the extremely vulnerable mental and physical state I was in and my age meant they were more than medical carers to me.

I had my first post hospital cry when we got to the car, I realized I needed to pee and if I waited til I got home I would have to go in the commode in my new downstairs bedroom. Kindly Joss and mom took me back to hospital to use that toilet but it was sinking in what being at home was going to be like. Joss made a status 'Georgia's coming home!' it got 63 likes, but I wasn't happy to be home. I cried when I saw the ramps to get inside, I cried when I went into our beige dining room and there was a double bed with a back support a special table and the dreaded commode. I cried when I had to use the commode. Joss tried his best and got some scarves and photos from my real bedroom to try and make it better, I must of seemed so ungrateful but I was absolutely heart broken. I didn't know who I was anymore.

                                                  Not the actual commode I cant face that!

                                       The same luxury back support I have to have on my bed...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Wednesday 26th September - First real shower!!!

   So as I have said many times before my 'washing situation' was weird and always changing...
Briefly -

• Intensive care - Rolled and wiped down to try and prevent bed sores. Agony.
• 1st 3 weeks on Trauma ward - Rolled and bed bathed daily by nurses.
• 4th Week on Trauma ward - Showered on special chair daily to clear burn infection.
• 1st week and a half on Burns Unit - Hair washed over special bath by nurses and only allowed to wash at sink to not get graft VAC dressing wet. 

So Monday My graft was again confirmed failed but they decided to try and help the wound heal with dressings. Wednesday  morning my nurse came in and asked if I wanted a shower?..erm YES!

She helped me onto the commode toilet/shower chair and wheeled me into 'my' bathroom (I was allowed to use the treatment bathroom as mine because of the wheelchair). Wheeled me into the far corner where the shower is, helped me undress and took my backdressing off, wrapped my donor site dressing in a bin liner and...LEFT!
First time in 6 weeks I was in a bathroom in the shower alone, no cast wrapped in a bag! She left all my wash things on another chair next to me and I had to figure out how to do it all myself! It was a lot harder than you probably think, trying to wash my 'hair' (the half left) without touching the big skinned section of my scalp and my shoulder injury's. I was desperately trying to avoid touching my burns and I couldn't bend down or wash the backs of my legs but it was AMAZING!


When I was done I pulled the nurse cord and she came back, followed by a team of doctors. She asked them to wait outside while she came through the privacy curtain and helped my dry and dress my bottom half. Then I had to hold a towel over my chest so the doctors could come and look at my back. After my mum arrived and a conversation with her the decided if she felt confident to do my infection control dressing I could be discharged tomorrow! I will add she was allowed to do it because she is a midwife and so understands how to perform infection control and I would be coming in every week to see the nurses here anyway. So they showed her exactly what to do and I eventually went back to my bed very excited indeed!

Monday 24th September - Graft review...

   Monday 24th September 2012 I woke up nervous! I was having my second skin graft reviewed today. The first one as I explained here, was traumatic first I was told it had taken then I was told it had completely failed, was massively infected and I needed another one as soon as the infection was gone. My burns consultant came to see me the day before and told me that if it had failed again I might be able to go home for a few days but then come back for another graft.
   Even though I had gone through ALL of this and one failed graft I still thought 'It wont be failed again, it wont happen to me'. I was given lots of morphine and sat up and my Vac dressing taken off, the curtain around my bed was shut and I had to wait for my consultant. My mom was texting me trying to find out what was happening, this was a BIG event. The outcome of this affected my future scarring, whether I could leave hospital, Operations...
   Eventually Mr V arrived with a bundle of medical students and junior doctors. A nurse came in to hold my hand while he looked at my back. It was silent for about a minute and then I heard him say 'where is the graft?..' I felt sick, completely devastated. After some discussion between themselves he asked them all to leave so he could speak to me privately. (something I really value in this consultant) He looked sad, he specifically chose to take over my care and knew what I'd been through and how much I wanted to go home. He explained that it had almost all failed again, I asked about having another but after a chat with my nurses and their colleagues they decided I had to stay in a few more days but we'd treat the burn with dressings soaked in beta-dine again and try and avoid another graft. I was happy because I wanted to go home and couldn't face another gruelling skin graft operation but it meant my scarring would be worse. It also meant that again my body had failed to accept its own skin, it may be silly but that in itself is hard to accept.
   Now I had to have the dreaded staples out again, I was going to attach a photo of a similar graft but thought you may prefer just the staple instruments for less gore!

I wont ramble on about how much having the staples out hurts again but Just think - big full thickness burn, open wound, actual staples being pulled out...The only benefit to having such a severe burn is that it has burnt through everything including nerves so I could only feel the ones around the edge being taken out not the ones imbedded in the burn!
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

 

Sunday 23rd September - Cast off left in A&E...

    You may have read in my earlier posts that my broken wrist wasn't noticed until almost 3 weeks after the accident when I couldn't use it to get into my wheelchair. Despite the fact that I could of made the break worse and the pain it was kind of a good thing because it meant they only left the cast on for 2 and a half weeks.
    On Sunday 23rd September the nurse said I would be having my cast taken off 'later'. It's an amazing hospital but when I had to have something done it generally took hours if not days and involved being wheeled around in the bed or chair trying to end up in the right place. I was even abruptly taken out of the toilet on the trauma ward with my nurse trying to keep my dignity and rushed to a heart scan that wasn't in any way for me!
    Anyway as usual it happened during visiting time! My friends Beckie and Ryan came to afternoon visiting with Joss that day. I think I had about 10 minutes with them before a porter showed up, most porters I had were lovely but some were not so. They showed up with a patient chair (picture below), I pointed out that I have my own actual wheelchair as I cant stand or walk, he looked annoyed. I couldn't of sat in his chair even if I wanted to as I have to use a special cushion to keep my pelvis in place! (cringey I know)

He went off to talk to a nurse and came back for me with my notes, he got me to carry them (pretty hefty pile I can tell you!) and Joss came with me. I told Beckie and Ryan I'd be as quick as possible and got taken away. The porter clearly had no idea where to take me and we ended up going through Resus and A&E, this was quite traumatic for me. Luckily there was no-one being rushed in or anyone in a bad state but it affected me a lot. Knowing I'd been rushed in from the helicopter people shouting things like 'female, 19, motorbike vs car....' I wouldn't of been taken into the a&e people wait in with broken ankles and lego in their nose but it was still upsetting. The porter pushed me into the room where they take casts off/put casts on said something to the poor doctor/nurse and buggered off. There was a woman in the room getting a cast luckily she wasn't bothered that I was in there! The man was trying to sort out why I was there, everyone (staff) was confused and shocked that I was an inpatient and had been brought down to a&e let alone left there! Thank god joss came with me! We had to go and wait in the corridor with other people waiting to be seen. I felt very self concious, I was sat in my wheelchair in my pjamas wrapped in a blanket. Obvious wounds and half my hair shaved off with a huge dressing on my head, with everyone else there like in normal clothes. 

Eventually the nurse took me to have my cast off, they literally use a round electric saw (I'd never broken anything before this) she said though that they couldn't x-ray it, I'd just have to put my splint on and wait back on my ward for xray. 

Guess what, that Xray was done at evening visiting time! Luckily I didn't need to have a cast put back on!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Thursday 20th September - Moved to a shared room...

     The day after my second skin graft Joss and my mom were in the room with me when the sister came in and told me they had to move me to a shared room. They packed my things, unplugged my bed and wheeled me up the corridor and into this big empty room. I was crying because every change was so frightening to me. I had been in my own room for 5 weeks since leaving the intensive care unit and I liked it that way. Not because I was loving that I got a private room, but it was an ordeal every time I had to use the bathroom - the toilet in this room was on the opposite side of the room next to the other bed which was currently empty. I liked that in my own room I could just lie with the tv on and pretend none of this was real, I couldn't even use my laptop on this ward and I was worried about having to make conversation with whoever shared the room. I'm not the kind of person who can just shut the bed curtain and ignore someone but I was too weak to talk lots. The one plus of this room was there were a few high up small windows! An ounce of natural light!
   From this day I had a new person in my room everyday and quite frankly it was horrible. I will give you an outline of the 'one-nighters' without giving any info about them just in case! They were all women as you can't mix sexes in the 2 bed bays.
Night 1 - Burnt hands from sticking them in a bonfire. Snored so loud the nurse was actually distressed that I would be unable to sleep. Discharged next morning.
Night 2 - Planned operation. TV unbearably loud all night. Discharged next morning.
Night 3 - Thrown aerosol on fire 'sunburnt' face. Discharged next morning.
Night 4 - NO-ONE!
Night 5 - Tea spilt in lap. Dramatic antics. Discharged next morning.
Night 6 - Lovely old lady who had falleed until I left.n down the stairs (only available bed). Stayed until I left

    I hate to seem un-caring but it was very very hard to have sympathy for the majority of these. They kicked up more fuss than I had the whole time about very minor injuries and moaned like they were being kept in a prison. I also had a few thoughtless comments about a singed fringe when I was lying there with half a shaved scalp.
   But they weren't to know that I wasn't in the same vote as them (minus the obvious wheelchair and wires) and I'm glad that I was a rare incident. It's a good thing the nurses were shocked at how long I'd been in hospital and when they read my notes because it means that it's not common to be hit, run over and dragged down a road and it's not common to receive such a multitude of injuries. I hate that all this happened to me but I'm genuinley glad that it doesn't happen to many people because it's horrific.
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Tuesday 18th/Wednesday 19th September - Skin graft 2...

    On Tuesday 18th my 3rd day on the burns unit, I was woken up at 5am to have my water taken off me and be told I was going to theater that day for my second skin graft. When you're having surgery you get a 'Nil by mouth' sign on your door, literally meaning 'the patient cannot drink or eat anything'. So I was given my tablets with the tiniest sip of water after my obs and told I was second on the list for my operation. I was terrified of going 'under', less so than the first graft as I explained in the earlier post but after pulling myself out of a coma the thought of being put to sleep frightens me to death. My mom arrived at 10am (on the dot every day!) but at about 2pm my burns consultant (Mr VN) came into my room in his scrubs. His first operation had taken longer than he thought and he couldn't perform my graft today. I was gasping for a drink and gutted. I was so desperate to go home that when he said I could either wait for him to do it Friday or have his colleague do it tomorrow I opted or his colleague. I regret that slightly now.
   Wednesday 19th exactly a month to the day of the accident I had my second graft. I was taken down before my mom arrived and I was very anxious. I was less vulnerable than the first time, as in I could sit myself up and before I didn't even know where I was but I was very scared. I was scared about where they were going to take the donor skin from because that creates a scar in itself, I was scared about waking up, I was scared and so sad that I was even having to do this. My favorite health care assistant came down with me and I woke up a few hours later in the recovery room. After the first one I was so vulnerable and weak I used the bit of energy I had to thank the nurse for looking after me while I woke up but this time I felt more ok. I tried to feel a bandage and dressing to find where the skin had come from but I couldn't move my arms. When I got taken back to my room my mom came and sat with me.
I hate that the first operation I had they didn't wake me up, I remained in the coma and was wheeled back to my space in ITU still on life support.It frightens me and makes me feel weak, is any of this really happening?