NOV '12 - My 20th birthday, another bad review, compression garments and more surgery on the cards... (graphic photos!)

 So November was actually quite eventful and I am very thankful I kept a diary until I started this blog so I can back date everything so accurately!

 Joss now has another motorbike as it was written off in the crash. I feel very anxious about it, on one hand I don't want the driver of that car to stop me from getting back on a motorbike on the other it absolutely terrifies me to the core. He needs transport to get to work and has every right to continue riding especially as none of this was in any way his fault. But I am terrified that he will be injured or killed, if you get hit on a bike you have no exterior to protect you as I experienced. But for now he texts me whenever he leaves/arrives somewhere and it gives me some peace of mind.

In November quite a few things happened actually -

1. On the 3rd me and Joss took a trip to the Sealife center in Birmingham - The first and last time we went anywhere similar was the safari park on the day of the collision and I did feel strange about it. But we got there and back ok and luckily they had good wheelchair access there so we could enjoy it!
2. On the 7th I finally got the right size wheelchair! - In hospital I was given a wheelchair which was too wide for me and promised a smaller one, I was discharged with the large one but when I got home found it barely fit through our door frames. We rang up but they said they couldn't change it. This is when the fact it was someone else's fault is of benefit, because we have a legal claim going on I have an amazing lady who's job it is to make sure I have things I need and she ordered me a brand spanking new wheelchair that is my size and can still fit my special pelvic support cushion and here it is!  

MY wheelchair!

3. On the 5th (I realize I have gone backwards here oops!) my injuries caused another injury!.. - In the crash I dislocated my collar bone, when making a flipping pot noodle of all things it gave way and the freshly boiled kettle poured over my leg. The left, smashed up leg to be precise. It was excruciating. Imagine doing that and not being unable to jump up. If I hadn't of had this accident I would of gone straight to A&E but I thought I would be wasting their time and I'd had so much more serious burns. When I showed my scar therapist she took me straight down to the nurse clinic (It pays to have contacts haha) and they dressed them one part was actually second degree. You literally couldn't make this stuff up, nearly die in horrific accident - get discharged - shoulder injury gives way and causes more burns!

                                               This is actually the kettle burn 2 weeks after I did it...

4. On the 16th I had some of my scalp cut off with scissors... - So I was currently seeing the nurses once a week for dressing changes on my back (burn/skin grafts), leg (water burn) and head (scalped by road). Today went as usual until my mom decided to query why I still had a HUGE scab on my scalp injury nearly 3 months on. I have put a picture on but basically the bald patch you can see was scraped off down to my skull by being dragged along the road (my helmet was driven over and smashed). The nurse decided to pull the scab off and have a look. Then I had several nurses all mmm'ing and ahh'ing around my head, apparently there was a big lump under the scab and they needed to cut it off. YES cut it off with scissors while I sat there YES it felt exactly as you would think! Then they needed to burn the stalk down with silver nitrate sticks, I've had them used on my back but that burn went so deep I couldn't feel them doing it, this time I could and it REALLY hurt! MORE cream and more dressings!

My head before scab removal. The pink area was mostly open down to my skull in the crash and all the uneven short hair was cut by the paramedics and then shaved in theater.

5. The 22nd was my birthday and a trauma review - Neither went well, I went for my review had Xrays and then saw a doctor It didn't go so well, they still aren't very happy with my pelvis or leg growth and have only agreed to me starting 50% weightbearing on the right leg and still 100% not on the left (which basically means I still cant even stand up. Then my mom took me shopping but it was not enjoyable. I couldn't get around the shops easily in my chair, I couldn't buy clothes I used to like because I need them to be comfy and I'm extremely self conscious of how I look now. I wear a scarf on my head everyday to cover up the hair removal and wound/scar. I feel very ugly and nothing like myself. I had all of my piercings taken out, half of my long hair cut off, have gained weight since leaving hospital but my legs are empty from muscle wastage and I have a lot scars.

6. On the 24th I was fitted for my compression garment and went out with friends for my birthday -  I have to have a compression top to help with my burn and other scars. It is extremely tight and does up with a zip, it basically tries to flatten the scars as much as possible and it covers my shoulder scar (skin removed even through leather jacket by being dragged down road), both of my lung drain scars, my full thickness burn on my back (melted to the cars exhaust) and my hip (similar to shoulder but with added stictches!) it's not comfy but it has to be done! After that I went into Birmingham with Joss, his sister and her boyfriend at the time to see the German Christmas market which was really nice. Then we met a group of friends for a meal in the mail box in Birmingham to try and celebrate my birthday. First off we arrived to a gormless waiter 'you can get up a step can't you' YES THATS WHY I ASKED FOR A WHEELCHAIR ACCESS TABLE! So I had to be lifted up a step to our table which was extremely embarrassing and degrading. THEN when I asked about toilets I was told it was downstairs so had to be lifted back down the step and use a tiny staff lift   platform to go down and back up. It was frankly horrible.

7. On the 26th I saw my burns consultant - I'll keep this one short! My compression garments are being altered and then posted to me and it is now official that I am going to need another 4 or 5 operations on my burns including my back and head but that wont be until the skin has healed more to lower the infection risk.

                                                                             Here I am in my lovely compression garment!

So it was a busy month and not really in a good way! I hope that didn't bore you to death and the photos weren't too gross!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

OCT 2012 missing hospital - what the hell?! + How I shower etc with no downstairs bathroom...

  So I spent an agonizing 6 weeks in hospital desperate to get home only to get home and wish I was back there...
You're all probably thinking 'what the hell?' 'Is she crazy?' 'why would anyone want to be in hospital?!'. And it is extremely hard to explain but this blog is for me to keep an honest accurate account of this accident and my recovery and this is how I felt.
   Don't get me wrong before this I never sat at home thinking 'I really wish I could be in a horrible accident' and while I was in hospital I did not enjoy it. But I didn't really 'get' what being home would be like...I didn't come home to my bedroom I had to move into our front room. To get into the house I have to use ramps so I'm a prisoner in my own home unable to enter or leave alone. I cannot go upstairs at all. We have no downstairs bathroom, this means as a 19 year old female I have to have a commode chair in my fake bedroom which my mother has to empty. The ONLY reason I'm talking about every aspect of this horrific crash and it's results (even the most embarrassing and soul destroying) is because I think it's important for people to see how this driver's dangerous choices have ****** up my life. To shower I have to be taken to my parents friends house as they have a disabled access downstairs shower. This means I can only shower twice a week and involves packing two cars with me, my ramps, my wheelchair, my transfer board, commode chair (doubles as shower chair) and clothes, wash stuff and towels.   I have to be wheeled in up my ramps through their living room, mom puts the chair in the shower base puts my wheelchair next to it, I transfer with the board, she puts the towels ect. out and leaves. I shower as best I can and then text her to come and do my back dressing and reverse the procedure to go home. YES it's good that they can even offer me showers at their house but it's degrading and exhausting.

                                          Ramps to get in and out of my front door (can't use backdoor)

Anyway back to missing hospital. In the middle of October I had my first of many 'trauma reviews', these involved me going to the QE to have xrays and a meeting with my trauma/orthopedic/bones consultant. From  day 1 I have been completely strictly NO weight bearing this means I cannot put ANY weight through EITHER of my legs and must use a wheelchair and transfer boards. I was not even allowed to be rolled onto my right side because I had a big fracture in my hip socket. At this review I spent hours waiting for xray and then a meeting with one of 'Mrs bones consultants' registrars (doctors). Just to receive BAD news...still NO weight bearing at all. I have about 7 breaks in my pelvis and hip socket, and my left thigh was so badly snapped they had to remove a section before plating it and it had not began to grown back and the pelvic fractures had not begun to heal.

It was the last straw really. I felt SO depressed - why had this happened? why me? why didn't the grafts work? why did I have to use a fake toilet when the person who did this to me was fine? I missed hospital, at least in hospital I could use a toilet now I could transfer. I really bonded with some nurses which is a weird thing because you spend so much time with them and then just leave. And you know what people care more when you're in hospital, I had been inundated with cards and flowers (which sadly died before I got home!) and now I needed visitors more than ever now I was living in my own version of hell no-one really came round.

A few more positive things from my time in hospital...

  So I looked through all my posts detailing my time in hospital and while trying to get all the horrible details in I missed the 'good' times where little things lifted my spirits so here's a little list!

• Joss (my boyfriend and the rider of the bike) visited me EVERY single day without fail. He walked to the train station in our town caught the 25/30 minute train to Birmingham and walked to hospital everyday and then back again. 
• My mom was allowed to come in at 10am every morning due to my age and the nature of it all so she did. Got up early every day drove 40 minutes to hospital and sat with me until 2 when Joss usually came, drove 40 minutes back home and a lot of days the came back for evening visiting! She helped me with going to the toilet and even sat there while I slept.
• As soon as I was able to get into a wheelchair Joss was thrilled and took me off my ward any day I was feeling up to it. Pushing me round, bag of wee on one side of the chair, box sucking gunk out of my back on the back of the chair all with his arm in a sling! Which meant I could go outside and get some air for a while.
• Joss's parent's, My step-dad, younger brother, and older brother and his wife as well as  friends - Pete, Sian, Rhianna, Beckie, Ryan, Charlotte and Naomi also came to visit me once, twice or a few times. (Hope I havn't missed anyone out!)
• The food was absolutley RANK and I lost so much weight from the trauma and trying to fight infections my mom used to sneak my dinners back out onto the trolley and bring me toast in the mornings and mcdonalds on good evenings. She even went to the shop and brough baguette, cheese, butter and a bottle of salad cream when I was craving a real sandwich!
• Joss brought me pizza wrapped in tin foil and even surprised me with a subway one of the days!
• I also discovered Branston pickle with sticks of cheese in the hospital WHsmith which is one good thing to come from this!

All of these things made an otherwise horrific, scary and painful hospital stay more bearable!