APRIL/MAY 2014

    So the last month and a bit hasn't been very interesting -what's new? I hear you say - but I haven't even had many hospital appointments other than physiotherapy #boring
  Medically I got my second scalp operation booked in for the 17th July the first part of which I had back in October, you can read about that here. I had a few medical reports for the solicitors which aren't very fun but are necessary for our claim. And I continue making steady progress in my weekly hour long physiotherapy sessions which I have now been having for 20 months (since I left hospital)! I still use the wheelchair for longer journeys but am using two walking sticks to make shorter distances. I'm having some nerve pain in some of my scars most noticeably in the large burn on my back which causes me to jolt but we're just seeing how that goes for now.
 
    In other news it was my dog sargent's 11th birthday on April 13th (think I'm scraping the barrel for this post...) We adopted him after he was fired by my grandparents 5 years ago, he was one of their guide dogs (both my grandparents are blind) but he kept making mistakes and was scared to go out with them so he was pretty useless...

  It was my best friend of 10/11 years Beckie's 21st birthday and with the help of some of my mass of equipment (below) I was able to go out for a few drinks for it! I'm definitely not at clubbing level yet but I haven't even been able to do that since the crash!

Quite the collection!

The cake I knocked up for her

Me and Beckie about 2 years before the crash

   

    Lastly, my lovely boyfriend (and 'carer') jetted off to Holland a week ago on the 19th May (well slowly went there via coach..) he's gone with two friends to travel through a few places in Europe for a month. He really deserved this break after all the sacrifices he has made and continues to make for me over the last almost two years because of this crash. However as well as all the lovey dovey 'I miss him' stuff, he is my main source of leaving the house! I see my two fantastic best friends once a week and have physiotherapy and a driving lesson once a week but other than that I'm pretty stuck. I think I've made plenty of comments on how bored and stuck inside I always am but it's still rubbish! I think it's hard for people to understand what it's like being bed/house bound and not able to go out alone (I certainly wouldn't of before the crash) and I'm lucky that one day despite life long problems I will be more independent than this. But I do literally spend days on end finding rubbish to watch to fill the hours and it's very lonely. I have watched every episode of the only way is essex twice in the last two years..I'm not even going to list any others haha I regain my street cred watching Breaking Bad and Dexter with Joss!
Moaning aside I am going away for a few days in a few weeks and Joss will be back in just over 3 weeks!

Hopefully I will have slightly more interesting news in the next post, thank you for the few comments I've had lately I do LOVE getting comments :)
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Scalp Operation and 21st birthday celebrations!

   I have neglected this blog for a whole month and although I only have two official followers I have had over 8500 views (If you read this blog please give me a follow!) so I apologise for that!

  On October 17th I had an operation on my scalp. You can see a full list of my injuries here but as I was run over and dragged beneath the car my helmet was broken and ripped upwards meaning my head was dragged along the tarmac.  

*Please don't anyone read this and think 'helmets are pointless then' because the car tyres drove into/over my skull before I was dragged and I don't need to go into details of what would of happened to my skull/brain if I wasn't wearing my helmet. That is also why you need to take great care of your helmet and always wear one that fits you perfectly and one that you can be certain has never been dropped.*
Obviously this left me with a large area on the right side of my scalp that was missing skin this led to half of my hair being cut and shaved to prevent infection. With intensive treatment and care the area healed over with scar tissue covering my skull up again nicely! While the outer area of scar tissue began pushing new hairs through, the deepest central area was essentially pure scar tissue from the skull up so it stayed bald and numb. My fantastic burns and plastics consultants put a plan together to remove as much of the scar as possible and try and close it up to give me a thinner scar and therefore less obvious bald patch. Too avoid expansion surgery (insertion of a balloon under the skin which is regularly filled with saline to make extra skin) they opted to just pull the two sides together after the middle was cut out meaning it could be too tight and may take more than one operation.
As always I was mostly nervous about the waking up from the anesthetic, I wrote here that I pulled myself out of the coma and as you can imagine it was an extremely terrifying experience that left me scared of falling asleep for a while and each operation is a reminder of that. The operation went ok though and although I needed a drip and some extra oxygen for a while when I woke up I was allowed home the same day. This one was very painful and I so tight I genuinely couldn't lift my right eyebrow for two weeks. Oh and I wasn't allowed to wash my hair for two weeks! I wont know until my follow up on Christmas eve whether they need to do another operation on it and I can't see it myself in a mirror but I have some photo's taken by Joss which I will include, to me they are not very gross but feel free to skip past them!

The morning of the operation (yes those are white frazzled hairs trying to grow out of it)

2 weeks after looking smaller about to get the stitches out (surgical gel not grease!)

22nd of November was my 21st birthday! My 20th birthday wasn't great and although I still couldn't go on a wild night out or anything I have come a long way since then and wanted it to be special. With some help from Joss and some friends I decided to plan a weekend away, well that soon became two weekends away with two different sets of friends! I settled on Devon for 3 nights on my actual birthday with 11 friends and Budapest two weeks later with Joss and two other close friends. I have just come back from Devon and it was brilliant! I worked my arse off in physio for the last few months which really paid off with me being able to use crutches in the house and get out of my chair and walk a distance when we went to the beach, I was so happy! I did actually have to dose up on codeine and have a nap when we got back from the beach but who cares it was brilliant!

The day before my birthday three of my best friends, Naomi, Beckie and Aaron took me to TGI Fridays in Birmingham and then to the German market and it was genuinley probably the best night I've had since the crash. They made me feel so special and made such an effort with balloons, confetti, hand made cards and a birthday cake (which involved a rather embarrassing song from the staff...) The German market was amazing too and somehow I managed to attract a polish man who took a liking to me and went off and brought me a birthday present!

I spent the morning of my birthday with my mom before Joss picked me up for the 3 hour drive to Devon. My mom is absolutely incredible she always has been and she has literally done everything for me since the crash. She had to be told I would probably die, she sat with me while I was in a coma, she rushed to me when I woke up from it at 3am, she sat in a chair next to my bed all day and night every night for the first week, she got to me at 10am every morning stayed until 2pm when Joss came drove home and came all the way back at 6pm to sit with me until 8am every single day I was in hospital and when I came home she washed me, emptied my commode and took me shouting at her when I couldn't cope anymore. She went to the effort of getting me 21 presents for my 21st birthday, not all big fancy things but lovely stuff that made me smile. One of them was even an elephant she had knitted (elephants are my favourite animal) despite only having knitted a few things before and having the kitten unravel it twice!
I hope everyone knows how grateful I am for making this birthday so special and I cannot wait for the next installment in Budapest!!!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

''How are you?'' - Physical Update...

   Whenever I see people or bump into someone on one of my rare outings they usually ask how I am, nice right? Well yes it is nice but it's not that easy to answer. Chances are I'll just say 'fine' or 'OK thanks' or if I really am in a very bad mood maybe even 'crap' but then usually followed by 'but I'll be fine' people don't want to here things aren't going well they want you to say you're doing great and then they feel better and get on with their day and if its a quick stop and chat in the street they certainly don't need me rambling on about my recovery. I thought this would be a better place to try and explain 'how I am' with a quick (maybe not that quick) physical update.

14 MONTHS ON...

Bones - My last Xrays show that my Pelvis is knitting together well as is my spine and looking at my first Xrays compared to that one is a massive change. The first ones frankly are a mess there are a mass of breaks and the pubic rami (inner pelvic ring) is totally snapped and distorted. I still get a lot of pain in my pelvis but I'm told I always will and there is a chance I'll need a hip replacement when I'm old enough because I broke my right hip socket.
My Femur (thigh) is finally going in the right direction but 14 months on it still hasn't fully grown back. Basically when I arrived on that fateful day a large portion of my thigh bone had literally been ground to nothing so I was left with a bit of bone coming down from my hip socket and a bit coming up from my knee with a big gap in the middle (cringe I know) so I endured a massive operation whilst still in a coma and had a plate and screws put in which will stay in forever and is the length of my whole thigh.
My wrist, shoulder and jaw are doing well I still get a few niggles here and there but they healed well.

Organs - My lungs and liver have healed very well and fingers crossed they wont cause me too many problems in the future.

Face - My Septoplasty operation has made some difference however it has not totally fixed my septum so I still can't breathe fully through the left side of my nose and it may well collapse back. The person who stitched my left nostril back on deserves a medal because the scar is so neat. My bottom lip reattached itself to my gums now I have a scar running across my bottom gums which can be a nuisance when eating certain foods.

Burns/Scars - Obviously my worst scar is the exhaust burn on my back which I endured skin grafts on but I also have scars from the severe road/friction burns to my hip, shoulder and scalp, the plate in my thigh, the stitching on my nose and the lung drain holes on my sides. Most of them are hypertrophic which means the scar becomes over granulated and raised. They itch a lot and hurt in the cold. The scar on my scalp which caused me to have half of my head shaved is being operated on tomorrow...I'm very scared about that. The full thickness burn to my back is by far the biggest scar it pulls the skin around it in and is very tight around my waist. It itches and is very sore if pressure is applied. I still have to massage all of my scars with different creams multiple times a day and still have a compression garment. I don't know how I will deal with my scars when I wear the clothes I like and they are on show..

Walking - I often get asked how far I can walk and how long until I can use a walking stick etc. Basically I am now starting to use crutches around the house and have used them to get into a restaurant once. It's really hard to explain because I don't know how long it will take. I still use the wheelchair to go out to placed and I'm going away for my 21st in December and have been told I will need to take my wheelchair. At some point I will use crutches out and a tripod walking stick and a normal walking stick at home then those out and one stick at home then one stick for everything. But all of that seems far away. I have physio every week which I enjoy but if I push myself I get pain in my back, hips, leg and knee so it's tough.

If you find any of this remotely interesting and want to know anything else feel free to ask :)

DRIVESAFE, George xxx

NOV '12 - My 20th birthday, another bad review, compression garments and more surgery on the cards... (graphic photos!)

 So November was actually quite eventful and I am very thankful I kept a diary until I started this blog so I can back date everything so accurately!

 Joss now has another motorbike as it was written off in the crash. I feel very anxious about it, on one hand I don't want the driver of that car to stop me from getting back on a motorbike on the other it absolutely terrifies me to the core. He needs transport to get to work and has every right to continue riding especially as none of this was in any way his fault. But I am terrified that he will be injured or killed, if you get hit on a bike you have no exterior to protect you as I experienced. But for now he texts me whenever he leaves/arrives somewhere and it gives me some peace of mind.

In November quite a few things happened actually -

1. On the 3rd me and Joss took a trip to the Sealife center in Birmingham - The first and last time we went anywhere similar was the safari park on the day of the collision and I did feel strange about it. But we got there and back ok and luckily they had good wheelchair access there so we could enjoy it!
2. On the 7th I finally got the right size wheelchair! - In hospital I was given a wheelchair which was too wide for me and promised a smaller one, I was discharged with the large one but when I got home found it barely fit through our door frames. We rang up but they said they couldn't change it. This is when the fact it was someone else's fault is of benefit, because we have a legal claim going on I have an amazing lady who's job it is to make sure I have things I need and she ordered me a brand spanking new wheelchair that is my size and can still fit my special pelvic support cushion and here it is!  

MY wheelchair!

3. On the 5th (I realize I have gone backwards here oops!) my injuries caused another injury!.. - In the crash I dislocated my collar bone, when making a flipping pot noodle of all things it gave way and the freshly boiled kettle poured over my leg. The left, smashed up leg to be precise. It was excruciating. Imagine doing that and not being unable to jump up. If I hadn't of had this accident I would of gone straight to A&E but I thought I would be wasting their time and I'd had so much more serious burns. When I showed my scar therapist she took me straight down to the nurse clinic (It pays to have contacts haha) and they dressed them one part was actually second degree. You literally couldn't make this stuff up, nearly die in horrific accident - get discharged - shoulder injury gives way and causes more burns!

                                               This is actually the kettle burn 2 weeks after I did it...

4. On the 16th I had some of my scalp cut off with scissors... - So I was currently seeing the nurses once a week for dressing changes on my back (burn/skin grafts), leg (water burn) and head (scalped by road). Today went as usual until my mom decided to query why I still had a HUGE scab on my scalp injury nearly 3 months on. I have put a picture on but basically the bald patch you can see was scraped off down to my skull by being dragged along the road (my helmet was driven over and smashed). The nurse decided to pull the scab off and have a look. Then I had several nurses all mmm'ing and ahh'ing around my head, apparently there was a big lump under the scab and they needed to cut it off. YES cut it off with scissors while I sat there YES it felt exactly as you would think! Then they needed to burn the stalk down with silver nitrate sticks, I've had them used on my back but that burn went so deep I couldn't feel them doing it, this time I could and it REALLY hurt! MORE cream and more dressings!

My head before scab removal. The pink area was mostly open down to my skull in the crash and all the uneven short hair was cut by the paramedics and then shaved in theater.

5. The 22nd was my birthday and a trauma review - Neither went well, I went for my review had Xrays and then saw a doctor It didn't go so well, they still aren't very happy with my pelvis or leg growth and have only agreed to me starting 50% weightbearing on the right leg and still 100% not on the left (which basically means I still cant even stand up. Then my mom took me shopping but it was not enjoyable. I couldn't get around the shops easily in my chair, I couldn't buy clothes I used to like because I need them to be comfy and I'm extremely self conscious of how I look now. I wear a scarf on my head everyday to cover up the hair removal and wound/scar. I feel very ugly and nothing like myself. I had all of my piercings taken out, half of my long hair cut off, have gained weight since leaving hospital but my legs are empty from muscle wastage and I have a lot scars.

6. On the 24th I was fitted for my compression garment and went out with friends for my birthday -  I have to have a compression top to help with my burn and other scars. It is extremely tight and does up with a zip, it basically tries to flatten the scars as much as possible and it covers my shoulder scar (skin removed even through leather jacket by being dragged down road), both of my lung drain scars, my full thickness burn on my back (melted to the cars exhaust) and my hip (similar to shoulder but with added stictches!) it's not comfy but it has to be done! After that I went into Birmingham with Joss, his sister and her boyfriend at the time to see the German Christmas market which was really nice. Then we met a group of friends for a meal in the mail box in Birmingham to try and celebrate my birthday. First off we arrived to a gormless waiter 'you can get up a step can't you' YES THATS WHY I ASKED FOR A WHEELCHAIR ACCESS TABLE! So I had to be lifted up a step to our table which was extremely embarrassing and degrading. THEN when I asked about toilets I was told it was downstairs so had to be lifted back down the step and use a tiny staff lift   platform to go down and back up. It was frankly horrible.

7. On the 26th I saw my burns consultant - I'll keep this one short! My compression garments are being altered and then posted to me and it is now official that I am going to need another 4 or 5 operations on my burns including my back and head but that wont be until the skin has healed more to lower the infection risk.

                                                                             Here I am in my lovely compression garment!

So it was a busy month and not really in a good way! I hope that didn't bore you to death and the photos weren't too gross!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

OCT 2012 missing hospital - what the hell?! + How I shower etc with no downstairs bathroom...

  So I spent an agonizing 6 weeks in hospital desperate to get home only to get home and wish I was back there...
You're all probably thinking 'what the hell?' 'Is she crazy?' 'why would anyone want to be in hospital?!'. And it is extremely hard to explain but this blog is for me to keep an honest accurate account of this accident and my recovery and this is how I felt.
   Don't get me wrong before this I never sat at home thinking 'I really wish I could be in a horrible accident' and while I was in hospital I did not enjoy it. But I didn't really 'get' what being home would be like...I didn't come home to my bedroom I had to move into our front room. To get into the house I have to use ramps so I'm a prisoner in my own home unable to enter or leave alone. I cannot go upstairs at all. We have no downstairs bathroom, this means as a 19 year old female I have to have a commode chair in my fake bedroom which my mother has to empty. The ONLY reason I'm talking about every aspect of this horrific crash and it's results (even the most embarrassing and soul destroying) is because I think it's important for people to see how this driver's dangerous choices have ****** up my life. To shower I have to be taken to my parents friends house as they have a disabled access downstairs shower. This means I can only shower twice a week and involves packing two cars with me, my ramps, my wheelchair, my transfer board, commode chair (doubles as shower chair) and clothes, wash stuff and towels.   I have to be wheeled in up my ramps through their living room, mom puts the chair in the shower base puts my wheelchair next to it, I transfer with the board, she puts the towels ect. out and leaves. I shower as best I can and then text her to come and do my back dressing and reverse the procedure to go home. YES it's good that they can even offer me showers at their house but it's degrading and exhausting.

                                          Ramps to get in and out of my front door (can't use backdoor)

Anyway back to missing hospital. In the middle of October I had my first of many 'trauma reviews', these involved me going to the QE to have xrays and a meeting with my trauma/orthopedic/bones consultant. From  day 1 I have been completely strictly NO weight bearing this means I cannot put ANY weight through EITHER of my legs and must use a wheelchair and transfer boards. I was not even allowed to be rolled onto my right side because I had a big fracture in my hip socket. At this review I spent hours waiting for xray and then a meeting with one of 'Mrs bones consultants' registrars (doctors). Just to receive BAD news...still NO weight bearing at all. I have about 7 breaks in my pelvis and hip socket, and my left thigh was so badly snapped they had to remove a section before plating it and it had not began to grown back and the pelvic fractures had not begun to heal.

It was the last straw really. I felt SO depressed - why had this happened? why me? why didn't the grafts work? why did I have to use a fake toilet when the person who did this to me was fine? I missed hospital, at least in hospital I could use a toilet now I could transfer. I really bonded with some nurses which is a weird thing because you spend so much time with them and then just leave. And you know what people care more when you're in hospital, I had been inundated with cards and flowers (which sadly died before I got home!) and now I needed visitors more than ever now I was living in my own version of hell no-one really came round.

27th September - Discharged from hospital...

I struggle to start all of these posts but this one is especially hard. 'Discharged' sounds so final but it was just the beginning really.
I had to see the doctors and they explained that we were keeping the wound/burn clear of infection with the dressings and letting it heal over because the skin grafts hadn't worked. Then they would look into more surgery in the future. I would be coming back to the Queen Elizabeth pretty much every week as I would have appointments with -

• Nurse clinic for dressing changes 
• My Burns consultant 
• My trauma&orthopedics consultant
• Xray's - Pelvis, hip, femur (thigh), wrist
• Physiotherapy
• Psychotherapy
• My Liver consultant
  
                                                       My new second home QEHB
  

I spent the day in hospital having blood tests and waiting for my prescriptions to go through for my medications to take home. I was eventually discharged at about 5pm. Mum helped me into some horrible tracksuit bottoms and a jumper and shoes! Pretty much hadn't worn clothes or shoes for 6 weeks.
I then went round to give cards to those I wanted to thank. I left one at the burns unit and then Joss took me round to Critical care unit C, the intensive care ward I was on. I had a card for the nurse I had on the Tuesday (the day I woke up) and the nurse I had on the Wednesday. It was scary going in there again because I didn't know what it looked like before I was either in a coma or barely conscious. On there you have one to one nursing and the state I was in I got very attached to those nurses. Then I went up to 412 my main 'home' for my time in hospital. I had a collective card and chocolates for the staff and one for my favourite nurse. It's hard to explain the attachment and not everyone who's been in hospital will have it, I think the extremely vulnerable mental and physical state I was in and my age meant they were more than medical carers to me.

I had my first post hospital cry when we got to the car, I realized I needed to pee and if I waited til I got home I would have to go in the commode in my new downstairs bedroom. Kindly Joss and mom took me back to hospital to use that toilet but it was sinking in what being at home was going to be like. Joss made a status 'Georgia's coming home!' it got 63 likes, but I wasn't happy to be home. I cried when I saw the ramps to get inside, I cried when I went into our beige dining room and there was a double bed with a back support a special table and the dreaded commode. I cried when I had to use the commode. Joss tried his best and got some scarves and photos from my real bedroom to try and make it better, I must of seemed so ungrateful but I was absolutely heart broken. I didn't know who I was anymore.

                                                  Not the actual commode I cant face that!

                                       The same luxury back support I have to have on my bed...

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Wednesday 26th September - First real shower!!!

   So as I have said many times before my 'washing situation' was weird and always changing...
Briefly -

• Intensive care - Rolled and wiped down to try and prevent bed sores. Agony.
• 1st 3 weeks on Trauma ward - Rolled and bed bathed daily by nurses.
• 4th Week on Trauma ward - Showered on special chair daily to clear burn infection.
• 1st week and a half on Burns Unit - Hair washed over special bath by nurses and only allowed to wash at sink to not get graft VAC dressing wet. 

So Monday My graft was again confirmed failed but they decided to try and help the wound heal with dressings. Wednesday  morning my nurse came in and asked if I wanted a shower?..erm YES!

She helped me onto the commode toilet/shower chair and wheeled me into 'my' bathroom (I was allowed to use the treatment bathroom as mine because of the wheelchair). Wheeled me into the far corner where the shower is, helped me undress and took my backdressing off, wrapped my donor site dressing in a bin liner and...LEFT!
First time in 6 weeks I was in a bathroom in the shower alone, no cast wrapped in a bag! She left all my wash things on another chair next to me and I had to figure out how to do it all myself! It was a lot harder than you probably think, trying to wash my 'hair' (the half left) without touching the big skinned section of my scalp and my shoulder injury's. I was desperately trying to avoid touching my burns and I couldn't bend down or wash the backs of my legs but it was AMAZING!


When I was done I pulled the nurse cord and she came back, followed by a team of doctors. She asked them to wait outside while she came through the privacy curtain and helped my dry and dress my bottom half. Then I had to hold a towel over my chest so the doctors could come and look at my back. After my mum arrived and a conversation with her the decided if she felt confident to do my infection control dressing I could be discharged tomorrow! I will add she was allowed to do it because she is a midwife and so understands how to perform infection control and I would be coming in every week to see the nurses here anyway. So they showed her exactly what to do and I eventually went back to my bed very excited indeed!

Monday 24th September - Graft review...

   Monday 24th September 2012 I woke up nervous! I was having my second skin graft reviewed today. The first one as I explained here, was traumatic first I was told it had taken then I was told it had completely failed, was massively infected and I needed another one as soon as the infection was gone. My burns consultant came to see me the day before and told me that if it had failed again I might be able to go home for a few days but then come back for another graft.
   Even though I had gone through ALL of this and one failed graft I still thought 'It wont be failed again, it wont happen to me'. I was given lots of morphine and sat up and my Vac dressing taken off, the curtain around my bed was shut and I had to wait for my consultant. My mom was texting me trying to find out what was happening, this was a BIG event. The outcome of this affected my future scarring, whether I could leave hospital, Operations...
   Eventually Mr V arrived with a bundle of medical students and junior doctors. A nurse came in to hold my hand while he looked at my back. It was silent for about a minute and then I heard him say 'where is the graft?..' I felt sick, completely devastated. After some discussion between themselves he asked them all to leave so he could speak to me privately. (something I really value in this consultant) He looked sad, he specifically chose to take over my care and knew what I'd been through and how much I wanted to go home. He explained that it had almost all failed again, I asked about having another but after a chat with my nurses and their colleagues they decided I had to stay in a few more days but we'd treat the burn with dressings soaked in beta-dine again and try and avoid another graft. I was happy because I wanted to go home and couldn't face another gruelling skin graft operation but it meant my scarring would be worse. It also meant that again my body had failed to accept its own skin, it may be silly but that in itself is hard to accept.
   Now I had to have the dreaded staples out again, I was going to attach a photo of a similar graft but thought you may prefer just the staple instruments for less gore!

I wont ramble on about how much having the staples out hurts again but Just think - big full thickness burn, open wound, actual staples being pulled out...The only benefit to having such a severe burn is that it has burnt through everything including nerves so I could only feel the ones around the edge being taken out not the ones imbedded in the burn!
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

 

Sunday 23rd September - Cast off left in A&E...

    You may have read in my earlier posts that my broken wrist wasn't noticed until almost 3 weeks after the accident when I couldn't use it to get into my wheelchair. Despite the fact that I could of made the break worse and the pain it was kind of a good thing because it meant they only left the cast on for 2 and a half weeks.
    On Sunday 23rd September the nurse said I would be having my cast taken off 'later'. It's an amazing hospital but when I had to have something done it generally took hours if not days and involved being wheeled around in the bed or chair trying to end up in the right place. I was even abruptly taken out of the toilet on the trauma ward with my nurse trying to keep my dignity and rushed to a heart scan that wasn't in any way for me!
    Anyway as usual it happened during visiting time! My friends Beckie and Ryan came to afternoon visiting with Joss that day. I think I had about 10 minutes with them before a porter showed up, most porters I had were lovely but some were not so. They showed up with a patient chair (picture below), I pointed out that I have my own actual wheelchair as I cant stand or walk, he looked annoyed. I couldn't of sat in his chair even if I wanted to as I have to use a special cushion to keep my pelvis in place! (cringey I know)

He went off to talk to a nurse and came back for me with my notes, he got me to carry them (pretty hefty pile I can tell you!) and Joss came with me. I told Beckie and Ryan I'd be as quick as possible and got taken away. The porter clearly had no idea where to take me and we ended up going through Resus and A&E, this was quite traumatic for me. Luckily there was no-one being rushed in or anyone in a bad state but it affected me a lot. Knowing I'd been rushed in from the helicopter people shouting things like 'female, 19, motorbike vs car....' I wouldn't of been taken into the a&e people wait in with broken ankles and lego in their nose but it was still upsetting. The porter pushed me into the room where they take casts off/put casts on said something to the poor doctor/nurse and buggered off. There was a woman in the room getting a cast luckily she wasn't bothered that I was in there! The man was trying to sort out why I was there, everyone (staff) was confused and shocked that I was an inpatient and had been brought down to a&e let alone left there! Thank god joss came with me! We had to go and wait in the corridor with other people waiting to be seen. I felt very self concious, I was sat in my wheelchair in my pjamas wrapped in a blanket. Obvious wounds and half my hair shaved off with a huge dressing on my head, with everyone else there like in normal clothes. 

Eventually the nurse took me to have my cast off, they literally use a round electric saw (I'd never broken anything before this) she said though that they couldn't x-ray it, I'd just have to put my splint on and wait back on my ward for xray. 

Guess what, that Xray was done at evening visiting time! Luckily I didn't need to have a cast put back on!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Thursday 20th September - Moved to a shared room...

     The day after my second skin graft Joss and my mom were in the room with me when the sister came in and told me they had to move me to a shared room. They packed my things, unplugged my bed and wheeled me up the corridor and into this big empty room. I was crying because every change was so frightening to me. I had been in my own room for 5 weeks since leaving the intensive care unit and I liked it that way. Not because I was loving that I got a private room, but it was an ordeal every time I had to use the bathroom - the toilet in this room was on the opposite side of the room next to the other bed which was currently empty. I liked that in my own room I could just lie with the tv on and pretend none of this was real, I couldn't even use my laptop on this ward and I was worried about having to make conversation with whoever shared the room. I'm not the kind of person who can just shut the bed curtain and ignore someone but I was too weak to talk lots. The one plus of this room was there were a few high up small windows! An ounce of natural light!
   From this day I had a new person in my room everyday and quite frankly it was horrible. I will give you an outline of the 'one-nighters' without giving any info about them just in case! They were all women as you can't mix sexes in the 2 bed bays.
Night 1 - Burnt hands from sticking them in a bonfire. Snored so loud the nurse was actually distressed that I would be unable to sleep. Discharged next morning.
Night 2 - Planned operation. TV unbearably loud all night. Discharged next morning.
Night 3 - Thrown aerosol on fire 'sunburnt' face. Discharged next morning.
Night 4 - NO-ONE!
Night 5 - Tea spilt in lap. Dramatic antics. Discharged next morning.
Night 6 - Lovely old lady who had falleed until I left.n down the stairs (only available bed). Stayed until I left

    I hate to seem un-caring but it was very very hard to have sympathy for the majority of these. They kicked up more fuss than I had the whole time about very minor injuries and moaned like they were being kept in a prison. I also had a few thoughtless comments about a singed fringe when I was lying there with half a shaved scalp.
   But they weren't to know that I wasn't in the same vote as them (minus the obvious wheelchair and wires) and I'm glad that I was a rare incident. It's a good thing the nurses were shocked at how long I'd been in hospital and when they read my notes because it means that it's not common to be hit, run over and dragged down a road and it's not common to receive such a multitude of injuries. I hate that all this happened to me but I'm genuinley glad that it doesn't happen to many people because it's horrific.
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Sunday 16th September - Moved to the Burns Unit...

  I had now been in hospital for exactly 4 weeks, most of which I had spent on the military trauma ward. I didn't want to be there but I had subconsciously become VERY attached to the ward namely the nurses. After my back was confirmed failed and infected it became clear that I needed to be moved to the hospitals burns unit for more specialist care. I needed to go but I didn't want to. When I left intensive care I was put in the Military trauma and orthopedics ward because I was a 'Poly-trauma' and had received SO many life threatening injuries - internal, external, structural...I had about 20 injuries.
  Anyway on Sunday the 16th September My mom had gone home and my step brother and his wife were visiting before my boyfriend Joss (rider of the bike) came in the evening. Half way through visiting my nurse for that day came in and told me they had a bed free on the burns unit so I was going down. I acted calm and OK because I didn't want to stress my brother out as they had to leave soon anyway. Inside I was freaking out though, I didn't want to leave my nurses that had become like a cross between medics and friends. I had LIVED in that room for almost 4 weeks, it was where I went when I was taken from the intensive care unit - a vulnerable, battered body that could barely speak.
  My nurse (the male one I mentioned last post) insisted on coming down with me to settle me in instead of just being taken by a porter. He stuck his head in before we went and said 'Im really going to miss you' and I could of cried it was such a strange emotion like I was leaving my family almost. He packed all my stuff up and I was taken to the unit on my bed so that I could keep the same bed. He took my wheelchair, transfer board and even the commode chair so I could have the same things.
  The burns unit is a unit not a ward. My room was still a private room and was in the high dependency area. It had no windows. The Burns unit is in the most appropriate place in the hospital in terms of critical care and theater proximity but this means there is no natural daylight. My room on 412 had a whole wall of glass, I could only see car park or road and I was so high up but it is invaluable. I even slept with my curtains open, you can't know claustrophobia until something like being completely trapped DYING underneath a car happens to you. So my room had NO windows it was literally a concrete box, the unit was a square with the nurses station/desk in the center like an island so even if my door was open I could just see a desk and more room doors. Upstairs I had my laptop so I could watch iplayer or look at facebook but here there was absolutely no signal even my phone could barely text. I was the only patient on the unit in a wheelchair with numerous broken bones as well as burns and wounds so I couldn't go off the unit unless it was visiting and I was able to get into my chair. I'll also point out that the toilet in my room which had the disabled sign on it was the size of a wardrobe so my wheelchair didn't fit and I had to remain buzzing to be put onto he commode and wheeled into the toilet and vise versa. It wasn't a bad place at all and you didn't have to pay for the telly (most wards like my other were about £20 for 3 days and I was in a LONG TIME) as there was no internet signal and the telly's weren't very reliable. That night was very hard, Joss left me his hoodie and as soppy as that sounds I really needed it. I was very lonely, my nurses were lovely but I didn't know them yet and they were reading my notes whereas upstairs had had me from ITU. I couldn't see anything but walls and I was so frightened they wouldn't let my mom in the next morning as she had special allowances on the trauma ward as I was so young and had so many injuries.
DRIVE SAFE, George x

First glimpse of the burn...(fairly graphic description)

     The last post and this one do not have dates in the title as they either span a period of time or I can't remember the exact day.
    The week they were desperatley trying to clear the infection from the failed skin graft on my back was about 3 weeks after the crash. But I still hadn't really seen the extent of any of my external injuries and they were dressed or in places I couldn't see. I couldn't even turn my head enough to see my shoulder when they changed the dressings and obviously not my scalp, so I had NO idea what the situation with my back was really. Infact it hadn't even occured to me that they would all obviously become scars I would have forever.
    As I explained last post, the daily infection routine involved being put in the wet room and my burn undressed and washed. On this particular day my nurse left the room after washing the burn to find some more dressing packs. The water turned off and I felt instantly cold so I reached for the shower 'on' button. The shower was turned on and off by this large silver 'button' type thing. (I happened to find a picture of a bathroom on ward 412 which I was on...below)

     As I put my arm forward I caught a glimpse of my side in the silver. I thought it was someone else and looked behind me, obviously there was no-one there. The burn is from my left side on my waist/hip and follows round my back to my spine, it is rectangular as it was caused by my back becomming stuck and melted to the drivers exhaust. The only way I could describe it was 'zombie bite'. It wasn't just red, it was green, yellow, white, black, bubbled, mangled and oozing. It looked like it had been chewed . The burn was full thickness and so went through every layer which meant it also 'scooped' in like something really had just bitten a massive chunk out of me.
   I felt shocked, horrified, scared, alone, ugly and mostly like none of this was really happening.

Treating the infection...an hour in the bathroom...

  The day my infection treatment started (over 3 weeks after the accident) was pretty eventful...
So incase you havn't read all the posts very briefly, by this point I had had my urinary catheter removed and when I needed the toilet I was transferred to a commode which luckily fitted over the toilet in my bathroom, then I had to use the buzzer again to be brought from the toilet and put back into bed. Anyway on this day (12th september) as most days, my mom left before afternoon visiting and put me into/onto the toilet before Joss arrived. (I got her to do this because I hated buzzing the nurses everytime I needed the loo as I felt they were busy doing more important things) So when I was ready I tried to see if I could reach the flush myself yet, I still couldn't and noticed that the seat was covered in blood which was dripping off the side. It was coming from my back/burn. I pulled the buzzer cord and waited about 5 minutes. Then a male health care assistant came in and looked shocked like he'd walked in on someone by accident. I explained that people had to bring me back to bed and that I was worried as there was blood pouring out of me. He said he would go and get the nurse (could of taken me off the loo first!), so I sat waiting, and waiting...eventually I heard Joss's voice which meant I had been on the loo waiting for 45 minutes. He came in, I told him about the blood and he went into the corridor ''my girlfriends been left in the toilet nearly an hour''. Don't get me wrong the nurses were horrified and it had been a miss-comunication, the sister thought he had brought me back to bed!
   She came straight in got me out and into bed and looked at my back, the bleeding had slowed but she decided now would be a good time to take my staples out. Having staples pulled out feels exactly like having staples pulled out of your skin. I don't know how many there were but they went the entire way round my burn holding the skin (which died) on. So I'd say 30 or more probably. It hurt like fuck, I could feel them being pulled out of the healthy skin they were anchored into.
  After this and the meeting with my new consultant mr VN I needed daily infection treatment. This involved being put onto the commode chair in the morning, wheeled into the bathroom under the shower area. The nurse then had to remove my pjamas and underwear, put a towel over my crotch for 'dignity' *what's dignity again I cant remember anymore? then a carier bag over my wrist cast and angle me so other dressings didn't get wet. They soaked the dressing so it hurt less to pull off, showered water over the burn and washed it with special stuff. That REALLY hurt every day, I always said it was fine because i hate making fuss at nurses but JESUS having someone rub a massivley infected full thickness burn is the second most painful thing I have ever experienced (second to being rolled onto a smashed pelvis and snapped leg). Then they washed my hair and body, dried me and dressed me. People probably think, 'oh god how embarrassing' but having my hair washed under a real shower instead of in bed in an inflatable bowl was incredible. I was in too much pain and too vulnerable to care about these amazing people having to see me naked and wash and dress me and wipe my ass. THEN once dried and partailly dressed came the infection clearing wound dressing, I had to have betadine soaked gauze strapped all over the burn. which always soaked bright orange through my pjamas, bedding, everything!
  I actually didn't mind the dressing part of the day as I always had a joke with wichever nurse I had as they got orange everywhere and competed to see who could strap it better so less leaked out, one of my favourite nurses frank even joked about seeing me naked on our first meeting. He was quite young and little things like that, that genuinley made me laugh made me feel a little more human again.
DRIVE SAFE, George x

Wednesday 5th September - 10th September Ups and DOWNS...

  It may read as though I'm skipping days throught this blog, I'm writing it from a diary my mom kept whilst I was in hospital to keep track of what happened when, for the solicitors.
  These were a stressful few days (everyday was but these more so...). On Wednesday the 5th September DAY 18 in hospital, my Vacum dressing was removed from my back (full thickness burn and graft) again. Once again this happened out of nowhere for me as a team of doctors, students and a consultant came into my room and talked about me to eachother while my nurse came in as fast as possible to try and get down what they were doing, so that I would know and so it would also be in my notes! They made me sit forward for this which was marginally better than being rolled but I had to hang on to my nurse to hold myself up and it killed my back, my pelvis, my legs everything. The removal itself hurt a lot, they peeled it off pretty fast but the thing is completley, air and water tight so it sticks pretty hard. They peered at the burn and muttered to themselves that it didnt look good 'here or here' but was probably 80% taken. That means 80% of the skin stapled onto the burn had survived and was doing well. They re-dressed it with a fabric dressing and special pads. They also pulled the dressings off my head, shoulder and hip and left them open for the nurse to try and figure out what they wanted doing with them! That was the first time I had seen my shoulder and hip injuries and they were pretty nasty. They called it 'road damage' or 'road burns' and basically where I had been dragged 10m under a car the tarmac had ripped through my jeans and 100% leather jacket and basically dragged and rubbed big patches of skin off me. My hip skin was hanging off and so was stitched back on and I have large areas of scar tissue which were once essentially gaping holes. The same happened to my head, my helmet was driven over and ripped up at some point and my scalp was rubbed away to my skull on the right side. Hense the hair removal, LUCKILY my hair has grown back through some of the scar tissue on my scalp and so they can cut out the remainder of scar tissue and pull it together to create a straight line scar. Which if you'd seen my head in A&E should be absolutley amazing!
  On Friday 7th September my wrist was comfirmed broken. One of the first things I recall when I came out of the coma was telling the nurses my wrist hurt (I couldnt feel my lower body so it didnt hurt at that time) they told me it was probably just a sprain because they had done a full body scan...Nope 3 weeks later it was 100% broken and put in plaster! Meaning I only had one un-damaged are (my left arm).
  Monday 10th September was heartbreaking really. It was DAY 23 and I was told I may be able to be transferred to a nearer hospital if I carried on progressing well, I was desperate to go home and really hoping for that. I met Mr VN (Im not sure if Im allowed to use his full name so I wont!) this day, he is a very senior burns and plastics consultant, he's also a wing commander in the army and runs private plastic surgery clinics in london. He had been told about me and wanted to take over as my burns consultant. He looked at my back, didn't order someone else to take off the dressings and actually spoke TO me! Sadly he took one look at my back and was absolutley certain the graft had completley failed and that the wound was becomming extremley infected. He was furious that someone had looked at it and told us it was 80% taken becuase it was 0% taken. They told me I'd have to go straight onto antibiotics, have my back treated everyday and when it was clear repeat the whole skin graft procedure. I was completley devastated I couldnt believe any of this had happened and just wanted to go back and never leave the house that day. I still do.
 

Monday 3rd September...No more Catheter or PCA Plenty of infection...

 This post is quite personal, they all are but I think bodily functions are always more embarrassing to talk about! I'm writing it anyway because this blog is also a way of me keeping a diary because I keep forgetting to actually write in mine (Im using it to write these because we had to keep one for the solicitors from day one). Also I want to capture every detail because these sort of things don't cross peoples minds when they think of crashes, so if you don't want to know about me going to the toilet by all means don't read it haha
  3rd September over two weeks since the crash. I had spent all of this time with a 'urinary catheter' this was put in when I arrived as it was pretty obvious I wasnt going to be able to go to a toilet anytime soon. Also while I was in a coma I was being pumped with fluids so obviously your bladder still needs to empty but you cant go so the tube goes all the way into the urethra (don't worry I wont be attatching any photos! aha) and continually drains into a box/bag. This stayed in for so long because my injuries were so severe i could not even use a bed pan regularly. But after over two weeks it had to come out because of the high infection risk. I was terrified. I thought it takes a few nurses and a lot of pain to get from my bed onto the commode chair and if theyre busy they wont answer my buzzer quickly. Plus I hadn't felt the need or gone for a wee in over two weeks, I think I forgot that you don't suddenly need the loo then wet yourself...So anyway they took it out at midnight (not something you want to be woken up for) I don't know if it hurt going in as I was in a coma but it stung coming out! You have to pee within six hours or you need another put in and I went at 5.55am I like to live on the edge! Anyway it wasn't as bad as I thought, I had a commode (basically a chair with a hole in that you can fit a pot under to be used as a toilet) luckily while I was in hospital the commode chair actually fitted over the toilet in my 'en-suite' so once I was on it the nurse could just push me in and it was basically the same as using the toilet I just had to buzz for them to come and get me out. They also had to pull my bottoms up/down for the first week because I couldn't move to lift or adjust like you normally could. Actually it wasn't even embarrassing I was so weak, so vulnerable and in constant agony I really didn't care. I didn't care when I had to be bed bathed naked and rolled over so someone could wash my back and I didnt care that someone had to wipe my ass at 19. But think about that when you think 'I'll just speed through here I'm going to be late' or think about showing off in your car. I didnt care because I didnt have the ability to care at that point.
  My PCA (patient controlled analgesia-morphine) was also taken away. Funnily enough they don't really like you to be filling yourself with an opiate for more than two weeks! Luckily I was still allowed Oramorph (drinkable morphine) whenever I wanted it because jesus did I need it. Skin stapled to a huge burn on your back, countless broken bones burst liver and road burns really fucking hurt. Plus my donor site on the back of my thigh was really starting to hurt...when my nurse took the dressing off it was pretty clearly infected! With pseudomonas to be presise.
  This meant I had to have betadine soaked gauze and a new dressing put on it and more antibiotics! Betadine either is iodine or has iodine in it (I cant remember!) but that means its bright orange and soaks through everything!
DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

Thursday 30th August Sitting in a WHEELCHAIR... meeting Gareth Gates...

   29th August was an exciting day! (not because I met Gareth) Two days after I had been sat up for the first time (and then remained flat for another 2 days) my physio's turned up with a wheelchair! Another thing I never thought would be exciting, but god I was happy! I had to use two physio's, a nurse, a banana board, a slide sheet and another nurse on stand by to get into the wheelchair but I did it! I had (and still do have) a special support cushion for my pelvis and my left leg had to be elevated because bending it even slightly was SO SO painful. Another thing people probably don't think about was all the attatchments I had! I had a catheter (pipe directly into your bladder continually draining) so they had to get me into the chair without catching it and then hang it on the side. I still had my first VAC box dressing attatched to my graft, so they had to unplug the box and switch it to run on battery, that then went in a bag on the back of the chair. I also had several canulars (needles into the vein for easy access with fluids, pain relief and antibiotics) one of which was attatched to my PCA of morphine (patient controlled analgesia) so that had to sit on my lap.
  So all in all I was looking pretty trendy with my bag of wee on the side and huge box of back fluid behind me. Did I mention the VAC makes noises as it sucks?!
   Anyway the physio's took me into the hall (first time I had left my room other than on my bed to theatre) and I had a feeble go at wheeling myself. Its hard to get used to (and i still had an undiagnosed broken wrist so it hurt). Then this receptionist, clerk person comes up and takes my handles and pushes me down the hall to meet Gareth Gates. What the hell? Now this blog may become world famous (very unlikely haha) so I will watch what i say, but lets just say I was a lot more interested in learning to move in a wheelchair! The military ward get a lot of famous visitors (something else I wont go on about but I dont think its fair on the other wards..)
DRIVE SAFE george xxx

Thursday 23rd August and onwards MIlitary Ward...

 I suppose this entry is more of a sum up of the trauma ward before I go into anymore medical stuff.

The military ward was more bearable than intensive care, although that is not to take away from the incredible loving and life saving care I recieved in ITU.
 I was on level 4 - in bed 12 - on ward  412, I found that pretty cool (my stepdad found it too confusing...). I had my own room as I was the only girl and very high infection risk, this meant I had my own 'ensuite' although I didn't really get much use out of it! My mom was allowed to stay over for the first two nights on this ward and was given special permission to visit any time in the day for the whole of my stay. This was because I was so young, I was 19 at the time but that is the youngest age you can be in that hospital and as you can imagine I was very vulnerable physically and mentally and needed a lot of support.
  The staff on this ward were brilliant, most of them were fairly young and seemed to take a liking to me, this was probably because the ward consisted of crazy old men and soldiers and so I probably seemed very sweet! I was also surprised that a lot of the staff were quite horrified at what had happened to me as I thought they probably saw it a lot. The staff were a mix of military nurses and HCA's and civillian ones. This ward is where I found my favourite nurse, Laura (never thought I'd have one of those!). She was bloody brilliant, I first had her (you have a designated nurse each day) on Thursday 23rd August my first full day on 412. At this point I was still very confused, couldn't move an inch and didn't even want to eat. Part of the routine is a daily wash after breakfast, be that a shower by yourself or a bed bath you have to do it. I had become absolutley petrofied of anything that would mean I had to be rolled (I didn't even want to eat because if I needed the toilet I would have to be rolled onto a bed pan as I only had a cathater for urine, too much information I know!) But Laura came in with Lyndsey (lovely military HCA) and calmly explained they had to do it, it was agony but they chatted to me whilst washing me to try and keep me calm. Still amazes me how they change a bed with you on it! I had lots of lovely nurses for the 4 weeks I was on 412, I was rarely on my own but at night time they would pop in and stop to talk when they were doing my drugs or dressings or canulars. My time on this ward was when I was at my weakest and most vulnerable but past the very real possibility of dying.
I know it's their job but they did everything for me, bed baths, dressing changes, cathater control, canulars, IV's, drugs, bed pan, washing my hair in bed even when I couldnt lift my head, holding my hand, clearing up my awful skin graft infection, eventually pushing me to the toilet and washing me in the shower, dressing me when I could finally wear knickers!, feeding me, making me laugh Laura even shaved my legs before I decided it really didnt matter if I had hairy legs I was barely alive!

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx

INJURIES...

I thought I would add a basic list of all my injuries for anyone interested...

1. Broken Left Femur (thigh) - snapped in half and flipped over itself requiring bone removal and plates and screws.
2. Shattered Pelvis - Six breaks around the pelvis in the pelvic ring and an acetabular fracture on the right side (the socket of the hip joint which is broken when the head of the femur is forced into it) which I now know to be quite rare and usually requires hip replacement in the future...
3. Sacral fracture - Fractures of the sacrum (base of the spine above the tail bone)
4. Spinal fracture -  Fracture of the lumbar 5 section of the spine.
5. Road Burns - I aquired second degree road burns to my right shoulder, right hip, chest and right side of my head from being dragged by the car. These went through my leather jacket and jeans. My hip had to be stitched shut and the skin at the top of the burn was completley open.
6. Broken right wrist - Only acknowledged 3 weeks after the accident.
7. Right anterior clavicular dislocation - Dislocated collar bone (same as Joss's inury) also only ackowleged weeks after the accident.
8. Lascerated Liver - My liver was literally burst as my liver consultant put it...
9. Split Nose - The left half of my nose was ripped away and amazingly stitched back on
10. Deviated Septum - the middle part of the nose has been bent out of shape from the force
11. Hole to left side of chin - Pretty self explanetory, from the chin strap of my helmet being pulled off with force. (if we had tightened the strap that day as we nearly did, my aw would of been pulled off my face)
12. Detatched Lip - My lower lip was ripped away from my gums
13. Full thickness Burn to my Back - My back was stuck to the cars exhaust pipe leaving me with a full thickness burn which needed grafts.
14. Deep Grazing - To my cheeks, arms and legs.
15. Both Lungs filled with fluid - Had lung drains put into both lungs. 
16. Black eyes - Not very significant but hey I've never had black eyes before!   
17. Fractured Jaw - Acknowledged 4 months after the crash when I returned to the maxillofacial team because I still had a lot of pain chewing (no wonder) and the lovely doctor had another look at my initial MRI and CT scans focusing on my jaw.

DRIVE SAFE, George xxx